Another HR/Job Question

TaylorandMel · January 2012

Okay, so I'm planning to take about 8 weeks off after Mel gives birth. The problem: I'm actively applying for jobs, and God willing I'll be hired before maternity leave. Therefore I'll probably have just started a new job & then need leave. (it's the same company so I have the PTO & I'm eligible-just changing from one title to another)

If I was the one who was pregnant, this would be obvious, but thats not the situation. Obviously disclosing this, I hafta be like oh yeah I'm gay & blah blah. Which means I don't really want to bring this all up at an interview, & I don't want it keeping me from getting a job--but CAN I wait until after I'm hired and then say, oh by the way...?

leapgirl8 · January 2012

While I can't say without seeing your company's policies, at most places you would have the right to take the maternity leave. But it might cause drama/hurt feelings with your boss and new coworkers, which isn't the best way to start out in a new position. You don't have to mention the maternity leave specifically, but could just mention in a casual way that your wife is expecting - the potential new boss mentions that he ran late this morning because his daughter missed the bus, you say "Oh, I'm about to go down that road myself, my wife is X months pregnant - we're SO excited."

Two*True · January 2012

If you get the job, I would add the leave in as part of the salary/benefit negotiation. Assuming you get it, they will make you an offer, you counter offer and/or accept the position with the stipulation that you receive the 8 weeks off when your child is born.

IMO there isn't a need for it to come up in the interview. In fact most HR policies frown upon any 'family' related questions/talk during interviews since overall they tend to negatively affect mothers.

2brides · January 2012

Two*True:
If you get the job, I would add the leave in as part of the salary/benefit negotiation. Assuming you get it, they will make you an offer, you counter offer and/or accept the position with the stipulation that you receive the 8 weeks off when your child is born.
IMO there isn't a need for it to come up in the interview. In fact most HR policies frown upon any 'family' related questions/talk during interviews since overall they tend to negatively affect mothers.

Agreed. I wouldn't mention it until you have an offer in hand.

Kershnic · January 2012

I agree to not mention it until you have an offer, and to mention it during salary/start date/etc. conversations. However, you don't have to come out to explain if you want to just say you'll need FMLA or need to care for a family member. But I still think the whole thing is best left until after an offer, and then it's easiest to say it's maternity leave and explain.

bluedaisyus · January 2012

leapgirl8:

While I can't say without seeing your company's policies, at most places you would have the right to take the maternity leave. But it might cause drama/hurt feelings with your boss and new coworkers, which isn't the best way to start out in a new position. You don't have to mention the maternity leave specifically, but could just mention in a casual way that your wife is expecting - the potential new boss mentions that he ran late this morning because his daughter missed the bus, you say "Oh, I'm about to go down that road myself, my wife is X months pregnant - we're SO excited."

this is not neccessarily true, especially depending on where you live. I was not eligible for my company's maternity leave when my son was born because according to my state I am not legally his parent. I had enough leave saved up (and a nice enough boss, and previous precedent) that I was able to be off for a while, but it was not the same as maternity leave here. now, when I was off FMLA laws also didn't cover that absence and that has changed, so even if you aren't eligible for maternity leave you should be covered under FMLA for taking time off to care for your partner and your partner's biological child.

that said...while I think it would probably be okay to wait and see if you get an offer and then discuss it during salary negotiations, according to your ticker she is 30 weeks+ and you are less than 10 weeks away from potentially needing/wanting 8 weeks off so frankly I think you need to tell them ASAP. you might also consider being willing to negotiate the amount of time you would be off, say 6 weeks instead of 8, if it's a job you really want and if it would benefit you in negotiations.

TaylorandMel · January 2012

Two*True:

IMO there isn't a need for it to come up in the interview. In fact most HR policies frown upon any 'family' related questions/talk during interviews since overall they tend to negatively affect mothers.

I agree with this. Let me ad some more detail. My manager now will still be my manager if I get the job, it's just switching from LPN to RN. With that said the reason she's not aware of the pregnancy is because I just met her one month ago (she is a new hire). We talked yesterday and she said she was going to pull my app from HR and we would have a "meet & greet.". She made it seem like I would have the job, but we just needed to iron out the HR formalities (I realize its not actually mine tho until officially offered). So, it kinda feels like lying to her if I don't mention it. I wouldn't want it to stop me from getting the job tho. I realize they can't discriminate r/t pregnancy--but that's kind of a gray area.

Two*True · January 2012

TaylorandMel:
Two*True:

IMO there isn't a need for it to come up in the interview. In fact most HR policies frown upon any 'family' related questions/talk during interviews since overall they tend to negatively affect mothers.
I agree with this. Let me ad some more detail. My manager now will still be my manager if I get the job, it's just switching from LPN to RN. With that said the reason she's not aware of the pregnancy is because I just met her one month ago (she is a new hire). We talked yesterday and she said she was going to pull my app from HR and we would have a "meet & greet.". She made it seem like I would have the job, but we just needed to iron out the HR formalities (I realize its not actually mine tho until officially offered). So, it kinda feels like lying to her if I don't mention it. I wouldn't want it to stop me from getting the job tho. I realize they can't discriminate r/t pregnancy--but that's kind of a gray area.

Tell me if this is correct - the boss you have now (who happens to be a new hire) will be the same boss you have when the babies are born regardless of your title (LPN vs RN). Correct?

If so, then I would think the issue of leave would be separate from the issue of promotion. If this is your boss no matter what, than it is probably time to ask for the leave time. I would still try to keep it distinctly separate from the promotion stuff though.

Kershnic · January 2012

I agree with Two. If the boss is the same you just need to come clean. I've never met a boss who would take kindly to less than 2 months notice for an anticipated leave of 2 months. I'd be pissed if it happened to me.

TaylorandMel · January 2012

Two*True:
TaylorandMel:
Two*True:

IMO there isn't a need for it to come up in the interview. In fact most HR policies frown upon any 'family' related questions/talk during interviews since overall they tend to negatively affect mothers.
I agree with this. Let me ad some more detail. My manager now will still be my manager if I get the job, it's just switching from LPN to RN. With that said the reason she's not aware of the pregnancy is because I just met her one month ago (she is a new hire). We talked yesterday and she said she was going to pull my app from HR and we would have a "meet & greet.". She made it seem like I would have the job, but we just needed to iron out the HR formalities (I realize its not actually mine tho until officially offered). So, it kinda feels like lying to her if I don't mention it. I wouldn't want it to stop me from getting the job tho. I realize they can't discriminate r/t pregnancy--but that's kind of a gray area.
Tell me if this is correct - the boss you have now (who happens to be a new hire) will be the same boss you have when the babies are born regardless of your title (LPN vs RN). Correct?
If so, then I would think the issue of leave would be separate from the issue of promotion. If this is your boss no matter what, than it is probably time to ask for the leave time. I would still try to keep it distinctly separate from the promotion stuff though.

True--she'll be my boss whether i take the leave as an RN or LPN.

To further complicate the situation, we're rolling out a new pt. care model on 3/6 with lots of changes & this job position change would require a lot of training. If the babies come before the scheduled c-section on 3/21 then this would be a huge issue, if not that only gives me 2 wks to train & then be gone 6-8 wks. That's what makes me think she would be like "ugh, that's a hassle I'd rather hire someone else."

This is irritating me alot. I think I've made my decision tho. I'm not gonna mention it at the meet & greet/interview. If I get the job, then when it comes up I'm going to say that I thought she knew b/c our interim manager (who she's replacing) is fully aware of our timelines.

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