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I'm a little worried about my partner's 2 year old
Hey there, my partner has a gorgeous two and a half year old daughter so I thought I'd drop by and ask some mum's with a bit (read: TON) more experience than me about her. I've only recently been staying with my partner when he has his daughter every other weekend but I'm getting worried about her speech. She's turning three in June but still only says half-words (which she only has maybe six or seven of) or makes noises instead of talking. I've taken her to see a hearing specialist and a pedi. Both say she can hear fine and her brain development is normal, she just isn't talking. Her mum has another baby to a different father so it could be that's she's either being neglected or discouraged from talking since her mum is busy with the infant. I've been talking to my partner about possibly calling social services but he's not sure if I'm worrying too much. WDYT?
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Re: I'm a little worried about my partner's 2 year old
I have a very speech-delayed LO and even him "discouragement" from speaking couldn't stop him from trying or acquiring new sounds/words to communicate basic needs. I think only living in a vacuum could do that. Is she happy, are there emotional concerns, neglect?
I would find a new pedi if he does not urge you to get therapy for a 2.5 yr old with 6-7 words/approximations. At 22 months, Ds had 5, was evaluated as having a 12 month delay and given 60 minutes of speech a week.
Are things amicable with mom? I am assuming not if your partner sees her 2 weekends a month, but if so, I'd ask her if she'd be willing to call EI and have him evaluated. If so act fast. Once she's 3 it's a whole new can of worms.
Right off the top of my head, I would say enrolling her in preschool right now would be the next best first step.
Mum is really not on good terms with us....She asked for us to have LO with us an extra day or two even after we agreed to have her on our anniversary weekend and when my partner said no she threatened to have our visits cut completely. The house is always a mess but really as long as she's fed and clean there's really not much social services will do. Our biggest problem is if we get this all rolling, I'm still in school and my partner works during the day so we'll need daycare every day of the week.
We also don't have the right to put her in daycare or preschool without permission unless we have custody. A lot of the weekends we have LO we take her to see my MIL who lives with a friend and her two year olds. That's as close as it gets.
I don't feel like I can do much seeing as I don't really have a say but even some of the basics, like LO 18 mth vaccinations came down to us. MIL had to get LO baby book and the shots were done after she turned two
What do you think is going to happen once she turns three?
After 3 she is no longer eligible for services through early intervention and she would have to go through the school system.
Good luck. Broken relationships are hardest on the kids. And it sounds like LO is getting less than the short end of the stick. Your partner is going to have to find a way to partner with her to parent the little one. Even if you need her permission, why can't your partner ask for it- for LO's best interest. I would also have your partner contact the pedi and discuss the concerns. You may have to google age-appropriate speech, normal childhood development and share it with him to make him more open to the discussion. But it sounds like they are unable to work together like grown ups, so you'll have to facilitate that on LO's behalf. Poor kid.
all of this.
My girls turn 3 in may. one of my dd's has been getting speech therapy through EI since 22 months b/c at that time she had 20-30 words but wasn't using them regularly/to request (only to label) and they were concerned. now at 2 years 8 months she speaks in full sentences most of the time (at least 3-4 word phrases), but is still considered slightly delayed...(more on the processing end since she has trouble/needs more time to think and answer complex questions and such)....her twin can tell an entire story and talks pretty much like a grown-up...
a 2.5 year old with only a handful of words is absolutely delayed....your SO needs to talk to this LOs mother and come up with a plan for the sake of the child...I would start with an EI evaluation...
My sister-in-law is a speech pathologist and says that typically one year old's should be saying at least one word sentences, two year olds should have 2 word sentences, 3 year olds, 3 word sentences, and so on. Obviously some kids talk alot more, alot earlier, but as long as this is the norm there is no need to worry. Just curious as to where you had heard the bolded?
First, to answer your question. I'd be very concerned too, and the girls father needs to intervene.
Second, I live with my SO and we have his daughter a little more than EOW. I understand how it can be really difficult for someone who doesn't have children to adjust to all of a sudden having a child around 24-7. I struggled in the beginning over holidays when we'd have his daughter for weeks at a time. I couldn't figure out how to clean the house, cook meals and still spend time with her and my partner. So, I won't flame you for feeling like it almost killed you, but I will say, it gets easier. At least it did for me. It took a few months, but I finally got the hang of it, and you can too. Just think, parents of newborns have to go through an adjustment period, why would it be different for you?
Third, I could not be seriously involved with a man who was neglecting his parental responsibilities the way it sounds like your partner is. One of the reasons I love my SO is that he is a wonderful, involved father. Do you really want to spend your life with someone who isn't willing to do whatever it takes to get his child help, because it's more convenient for him not to?
Why is your MIL watching this girl when it is your partner's scheduled time with her?
I don't understand why his child would be visiting your mother at all, especially considering that you have "only been on the scene" recently.
It sounds like this kid has two crappy parents to deal with, not just her mom.
Aw, this poor little girl. Yea, it's tough being a parent, but so rewarding.
My DS is 2.5. I think he has a great vocab, but he does not string many sentences together. He has ENT issues (tubes and he is getting his tonsils/adenoids removed in March). After his surgery, we are meeting with a speech therapist for an evaluation. We really had to push to get him in with the ENT this time around as his pedi was not concerned. We have to be our kids' biggest advocates. If you and your SO think there is an issue, then do what you must to get her evaulated. Stop looking at who should be doing what and actually do something.
Go Phils!!
What kind of custody arrangement is there? I don't understand why it seems the father doesn't have more time with his daughter and more so, why he has to have legal authority to say take HIS daughter to daycare???
Something sounds off here. Either way, the father needs to step it up and BOTH parents need to be civil to each other and agree to do what is best for their daughter and stop ignoring her.
At 2.5yr old, I would say the daughter is delayed. Call early intervention services. I don't get why the father would need PERMISSION to do this. This girl is HIS daughter also, not just the birth mom.
I also do not understand the whole MIL situation. Who's MIL is this? If you aren't married to the father then MIL is the wrong terminology. If it is your MIL, that means you are married! If you mean your mother, then call her your mother. And why would the father be shipping his daughter off to some other person during the LIMITED time he gets to spend with his daughter?
This whole thing has me scratching my head.
And I'm starting to feel like I really shouldn't come back to read the replies because they're making me feel like I'm doing a freaking crap job when it comes to the LO. We're timepoor and we know it. I'm a full time student with a job on top of that. My partner has a full time job and still only just manages to cover rent, bills, groceries etc. LOs mum only lets my partner have two weekends a month. He's been through court and tried to get at the very least every weekend. They don't care.
I'm sorry I wasted your time but I felt the need to wrap this up and just leave before anyone makes me feel worse.