Lurker looking for advice — The Bump
Single Parents

Lurker looking for advice

I am a longtime lurker on this board, and I have gotten some really good advice from just reading your posts.  While I am currently married, I have a 4 year old from a previous relationship.  My son's father has decided this past year that he would like to spend more time with his son and we are headed to mediation next week.  We have had 2 different visitation/custody agreements including the one that is currently in force (I have sole custody, he can't drive our son and is suppose to have another person present, and he can not have him for overnights)  Up until now he has just signed off on everything and has never had an attorney so this whole mediation thing is brand new to me.  Can someone tell me what to expect?  Do we talk to each other or just the mediator?  Do we talk at all, or just the attorneys?  I honestly have no idea what to expect when I walk into the room.  Any advice as to how to prepare would be helpful as well. Thank you so much, in advance.
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Photobucket BabyFruit Ticker Blinkies, Glitter Graphics & more" BFP #1 12/26/06 DS born 08/08/07 BFP #2 12/16/10 EDD 08/23/11 Missed M/C ~7weeks D&C 02/04/11 BFP #3 3/11/11 4/1/10 heard HB 149!!! EDD is 11/17/11

Re: Lurker looking for advice

  • Well first off I'd ask how much more are you willing to give him? And how much does he think he's going to get?

    If you aren't willing to budge too much more on the agreement you already have I'd probably meet with an attorney to see what your options are.

    I wish I could give more advice, but I am still going through it myself.

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  • Thank you!  We actually both already have attorneys.  I'm just not sure what the attorney's role is when we are in mediation.  I have already told my son's father that I would be willing to go back to a previous agreement that we had (prior to his DUI) which would provide for a step up plan where visitation increases as my son gets older.  He didn't want to do that :(  We are going the private mediation route in hopes that we can come to an agreement without having to go to court.

     

     

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Photobucket BabyFruit Ticker Blinkies, Glitter Graphics & more" BFP #1 12/26/06 DS born 08/08/07 BFP #2 12/16/10 EDD 08/23/11 Missed M/C ~7weeks D&C 02/04/11 BFP #3 3/11/11 4/1/10 heard HB 149!!! EDD is 11/17/11
  • Your attorney in mediation would represent you and make sure your wishes were heard, I would have them there in your situation. I don't think it's a requirement, but I don't think it would be good to forgo.
    image
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