Tacky alert

Cooper81 · January 2012

So myself, my MIL and my BIL's GF get an email from my SIL (other BIL's wife) about our nephews birthday. So it starts out that he wants to have us all go out to the same place we went to last year, in like 2 months. I rolled my eyes at scheduling a 7 year olds birthday lunch 2 months out, but whatever NBD. Then she goes onto say that he has decided that instead of having a party with friends he wants to go on a shopping spree. So her "suggestion" is that we all get him gift certificates to the stores he likes, which she lists like 5 of them. Then goes on to say that of course, necessities like clothes, jackets (she adds that his winter coat is getting small), and shoes are always welcome. You know, basic neccessities that parents are generally responsible for buying for their kids. So instead of throwing him a party, which they would/should have paid for themselves, they want us all to get him gift cards so they can take him on a spending spree. This is just one of the many tacky/annoying things that she and my BIL have done, so maybe I'm hyper sensitive about it, but that just screams tacky to me. I can see suggesting it if someone asked, but the way it was worded made this seem like "this is what you should be getting him."

mrs. remy · January 2012

WTF??? How do people think this is ok? I would never feel comfortable asking for stuff like that.

ShandaB · January 2012

I always have a problem with people expect gifts. A gift is not a requirement in any situation.

daisyterp · January 2012

Wow. Just wow.

Also might I add that in addition to being insanely tacky (and frankly offensive) that is pretty gawd awful way to teach a child about money and financial responsibility. Though I had very few relatives who just gave me money for birthdays, Christmas, etc. by age 7 I had learned that if I really wanted something I could save money given to me in order to buy what I wanted.

KathrynMD · January 2012

that's just odd; are they broke or something?

b/c unless they have well know financial issues, that is just WAY off

SarahKate31 · January 2012

So wait, are you supposed to give them a gift card AND a winter jacket or something? I mean I think it's fine for parents to give gift suggestions IF they're asked. I usually ask the parents for ideas because I usually don't know what a 7 year old (for example) is into and I want to get him something he'll like. And the "spree" idea is kind of fun, but only if the gift-givers had thought of it themselves and if it wasn't in lieu of a party. DH and I wanted to take our friends' kids on a spree (or just to pick out a gift, you know) but that was our idea not their parents'.

Cooper81 · January 2012

They do not have much money, but her family never has, so she's grown up "frugal." But as my DH has said over and over again, for growing up with little, she has this strange sense of entitlement. There is soooo much of a back story here, but she and my BIL, well with their son (this is the son that my BIL officially adopted shortly after they got married), moved back in with her parents a few months ago because they were going to "save for a house." They were apparently approved for some special program through the state, for low income families. I never really heard all the details, but they had to take a few courses, and the funding somehow requries the house to be kind of a fixer-upper, IDK really. They were both unemployed for long stretches of time over the last few years. < I think I mentioned this before, but this is my BIL that complained to my DH that their unemployment benefits didn't cover "entertainment expenses." To which my DH was floored and speechless. > Then they start TTC, my SIL get's PG. <I think I've also mentioned that she went to her OB to ask them if all those old wives tales-eating red meat-would ensure that they have a girl Indifferent > So they have NO money, are living with her parents, are expecting, already have one kid (another side note, he lived with her sister on the eastern shore over the summer during the week to save on all day DC costs), it just paints such a great picture doesn't it. And don't even get me started on the whole "this baby must be a girl, we've been praying so hard for it," thing.

Another side note, when she got PG her boyfriend at the time just up and left, wanted nothing to do with her or the baby. She was working at the time as a teacher, planning on going back to school to get her masters, but when she found out she was PG just dropped everything and lived with her parents and off the system for at least that first year so that she could stay at home with him.

I *might* dd this later, just in case...

KathrynMD · January 2012

Cooper81:

They do not have much money, but her family never has, so she's grown up "frugal." But as my DH has said over and over again, for growing up with little, she has this strange sense of entitlement. There is soooo much of a back story here, but she and my BIL, well with their son (this is the son that my BIL officially adopted shortly after they got married), moved back in with her parents a few months ago because they were going to "save for a house." They were apparently approved for some special program through the state, for low income families. I never really heard all the details, but they had to take a few courses, and the funding somehow requries the house to be kind of a fixer-upper, IDK really. They were both unemployed for long stretches of time over the last few years. < I think I mentioned this before, but this is my BIL that complained to my DH that their unemployment benefits didn't cover "entertainment expenses." To which my DH was floored and speechless. > Then they start TTC, my SIL get's PG. <I think I've also mentioned that she went to her OB to ask them if all those old wives tales-eating red meat-would ensure that they have a girl > So they have NO money, are living with her parents, are expecting, already have one kid (another side note, he lived with her sister on the eastern shore over the summer during the week to save on all day DC costs), it just paints such a great picture doesn't it. And don't even get me started on the whole "this baby must be a girl, we've been praying so hard for it," thing.

Another side note, when she got PG her boyfriend at the time just up and left, wanted nothing to do with her or the baby. She was working at the time as a teacher, planning on going back to school to get her masters, but when she found out she was PG just dropped everything and lived with her parents and off the system for at least that first year so that she could stay at home with him.

I *might* dd this later, just in case...

she sounds like a gem!! this is so much better than the tacky 7 yo birthday party.