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December 2010 Moms
PGASTL
member
Do you ever get jealous of other people's birth stories?
PGASTL
member
While I am so grateful that I had a healthy delivery, it was a little rough. (20 hours of labor - 2 hours of pushing, resulting in a c-section at 3am). My LO wasn't breathing at first and it was a little traumatic because I could see her just laying there limp & blue. That only lasted a minute, but it was terrifying.
I was awake almost 48 hours and just exhausted, sick and delirious during LO's first moments and shaking so badly I was the last person to hold her out of both our families.
I know how lucky I was to have both LO and I healthy after that experience, and I really was okay with the whole experience at the time. And of course, I am still okay with how things happened because of the end result.
However, when I hear other people's birth stories that are more "picture perfect," I do tend to get jealous. For example, my friend's baby was born this morning via a scheduled c/s (breech). My other friend had her water break, went into the hospital, got an epidural, and about an hour later pushed out her baby easily.
It's so silly to be jealous of ANYONE'S birthing or parenting experiences, because we all have different things to be grateful for, and different struggles. But I can't help feeling envy at times and praying that with #2 we'll have a slightly easier delivery (whether VBAC or C/S).
Am I alone in this?
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Re: Do you ever get jealous of other people's birth stories?
This is kind of a funny question, but I get what you're saying. I don't know, I think labor kind of sucks no matter how it happens.. and maybe even the labors you think are "picture perfect", aren't necessarily. KWIM?
But I do know a lot of people who had c-sections and wished they could have had vaginal. Are you scared to go through it again now?
I definitely get where you are coming from.
I had to be induced at 37 weeks after developing high blood pressure rather suddenly. I was a long and painful pitocin induced labor. I wanted to have a more natural birth, but the epi was my savior.
Because if the high bp I had to be hooked up to an IV with drugs for 24 hours after delivery. I couldn't get out of bed at all, no bathroom/shower, etc. It was so hard being hooked up to so much crap to sit up and be comfortable to breastfeed. My IV was refilled every hour since they only had small bags of medicine so I got pretty much no sleep with people coming in and out of the room every hour.
I felt like we just had a really rocky start and wish it could have been smoother. My Dr said I have a 10% chance of the high blood pressure coming back this time around. So I'm hoping that it doesn't and we at least have a chance at a better birth experience. I'd like to at least know what it's like to go into labor on my own.
But overall, I just try to think that of course we are all happy and healthy now and that is what truly matters. And it was only about 2-3 days of crappiness and each time I look back it seems farther and farther away.
Sometimes. I had 2 c/s- both planned. With DS1, I did go into labor earlier than expected, but I only labored to 4cm before they found me an OR to do the c/s.
With DS2, I really wanted to try a VBAC, but with GD again and knowing the size of this baby (and of DS1 who was even bigger), they didn't let me. I was ok with it because it got his b-day further away from Christmas. Is that horrible to say?? I have TWO kids b-days and Christmas all within 3 weeks!!!
Anyway. I do really with I could've tried for a vaginal delivery- I'm not like horribly upset about it like I know some people get, I just feel like I missed out on a lot by not even really being in labor!!! My BFF says I'm not missing much... LOL!
I totally get where you're coming from! I do get jealous of people who say they got an epidural and it was wonderful.
While I loved the pain relief part, most of my time with the epidural was spent shaking, teeth chattering, etc. It definitely was not relaxing "catch a quick nap" period of my labor.
And right after H came out was similar to your story - not breathing, blue. They laid her on my stomach long enough for DH to cut the cord and then whisked her off to the NICU team. I didn't get to hold her for a good 7 minutes after that. I get envious every time I see a baby show where they get to do skin to skin time right away because what I remember was lying there watching them trying to get her breathing and waiting to hear her cry.
But all in all I am very grateful for what was actually a relatively short, major complication free labor that gave me a happy healthy baby. Sometimes it's hard to see the overall amazing big picture when I get focused on those couple bad spots and I know I should just let them go.
I think I will be scared when I do get pg again because I am going to try for a VBAC, but only if everything is looking favorable (for example, if I go into labor naturally on my own and the baby looks to be in a good position, etc). I am not going to try to go 2 weeks overdue or opt to be induced though, if I don't go into labor on my own by the day my Dr. and I decide (I would guess about 4 days post due), then I will have a r-c/s.
I am nervous about the recovery time with a 2nd c/s because I will have a toddler to chase around and not be able to take it easy like I did this time. Also, if I have to get another c/s then I will be in the hospital for 4-5 days, leaving LO at home without me.
I also get really nervous about complications if we were to have a 3rd baby and I needed a 3rd c/s - even harder to recover if you have TWO kids to take care of, in addition to a newborn.
I know it's all a long way off, and there really isn't any "perfect" delivery, but I didn't say my feelings were rational.
This is totally me! I still can't!
I couldn't either because I was just get even more p!ssed because I did go all natural until the very end when they gave me pitocin to go from a 9-10!
If you can't tell I still have a hard time dealing with it. I also have to have a RCS in the State of NM! They don't allow VBACs.
I am jealous of people who have a carried farther than I did and with no complications.
I had a great first 31 weeks- no issues after all the worry about PTL and my cervix. After 31 weeks, it was terrible. Bedrest and worries about my BP, pre-e, my sister had a baby pass from a placental abruption from pre-e. So I was worried and afraid. Then at 34 weeks I had a c-section. I didn't mind the c-section, but that the boys were briefly shown to me and then wisked away to the NICU- I was on mag and so out of it I can only foggily remember it. I was not taken to see them until 24 hours later when I was becoming a real *** about that I wanted to see my kids- and after the mag dosage was too high and caused some dangerous side effects. Then I found out that my BP was not gong down- more restrictions.
I was discharged on f-ing bedrest again. They wanted me to only spend 1 hr a day at the NICU. Yeah like that was going to happen. My DH and my mom got into a fight and she left after only 3 days- so I had no one to make sure I got to the hospital everyday- I drove myself when my BP was under 150/90. I was upset and feeling like a bad mom. Finally after adding 3 meds my BP went back to normal- and the boys started to take their feeds by mouth and came home after 17 days. So in the end it turned out ok but I never want to repeat that again.
Ginny DX 21-Hydroxylase Deficiency Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
Charlie DX Specific Antibody Deficiency & ASD
After I had Connor I used to get jealous of those moms who didn't even push and looked great right afterwards. I had 3 1/2 hours of pushing, blood shot eyes, a near c-section, and a 4th degree tear...not fun.
Then I had Aaron and became one of those moms. Sorry!
I can't complain much about my labor, it was a pretty typical first delivery, but I was jealous of my SIL who just had a baby. They got there about 6:30 pm and the baby was born at 8:02 pm.
Then again it is her 4th kid in five years and I think by that point they might just start falling out of you.
Just spit coffee at the screen. Thank you. I needed that today.
I feel lucky to have a healthy kid with little drama. Went into hospital at 6am, DD was born at 10:30pm that evening. Almost had to have a C/S but things got moving and shaking around 8pm. Yes I wish it would have been faster, but overall - I can't complain. I refused to do a birthplan since every time I read about one, they were never used. I think not having a plan was the best plan for us.
The only thing I get jealous over is that I didn't get to see my baby after he was born (emergency csection.) For no real reason, they sent DH with him to the recovery room without me and our ENTIRE family came and HELD him before I ever saw him. Not fair. I'm still mad.
For some reason I told DH a couple weeks before DD was born that if I end up needing a c-section NO ONE is to hold her before me except for DH. It's a damn good thing I told him that because my MIL said let me hold her. DH told her that he can't, that I would be really mad if anyone held her before I got to!
I get it. I had a pretty good labor though...only about 12 hours, with 2 hours of pushing which I didn't even feel because of a successful epi.
BUT what comes along with that is kind of a fear of the unknown. I'm always worried that my next one I will fool myself into thinking it would be easy again, but then something will happen and I won't be able to handle it.
Can't we ever be happy, haha?
I would be furious! At my hospital, luckily, baby stay with c-section moms the whole time, so our LO didn't leave until her sugars dropped and she went to the NICU.
I am not jealous of others' birth stories. I was hospitalized for several weeks before they did my c-section. It was planned for a week later which I was sad about not having the "surprise" factor, but in the end, due to complications it was suddenly decided at 11am a week earlier than planned that that day she would be delivered at 3pm. I had a great delivery and easy recovery and the only thing I would change would be her NICU stay.