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Multiples
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solo parent duty - vent
Day 5 of being up since 3am with the boys. Nick (I think it is a separation anxiety thing) is getting hysterical in the middle of the night until I come in. As soon as I leave the room, he starts all over.
MH is traveling all week and last night Nick woke Danny up. Once Danny gets wound up, there is no stopping him until his meltdown runs its course. I've been up with two screaming (hysterical) babies since 3:00am. I'm surprised the neighbors didn't call the police--it was that bad. And, as I know you have all been through, when both are freaking out and there isn't anything physically wrong, who do you pick up and hold when there is only one of you? I didn't want the other baby to feel even more alone, so I just bounced from crib to crib trying to soothe them.
Three and a half hours of screaming babies--I thought I was going to lose my mind. They finally slept for an hour at 6:30am. This is the fifth night that I've had about 3 hours of sleep--because, even when MH is home, it's not like he has the mommy comforting gene to get up and soothe them--it's all me. And then coming into work while running on fumes--I'm wiped. I was almost in tears of frustration last night, feeling like a failure. If there was one baby, I would be able to hug and soothe the way I should be. With two? Big fat mom fail.
Thanks for listening to me vent.
Is anyone else dealing with separation anxiety in the middle of the night?
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Re: solo parent duty - vent
No advice, but I just wanted to say that I totally sympathize with your situation. My husband has been sick the past 2 weeks and so we've been limiting his contact with the babies. Luckily they haven't gotten sick, but it means I am basically single parenting and it is really difficult! My girls are cutting a total of 6 teeth between them, so there's not much sleep to be had here. I've been up since 3:30 am today.
I hope things get better soon, and I feel for you.
I feel badly for complaining now! You are amazing!
Yes, I have a rocking chair--I can try rocking them both at the same time, but they have some possessiveness issues when I try to hold them both together. They often end up freaking out more and trying to push the other off of my lap.
How long did the nighttime separation anxiety last for you?
Thanks for the reply. Teething is no fun--nor is having a sick husband. I hope everyone feels better soon and that you can get some rest.
First off, I am so sorry for your lack of sleep and solo-parenting. It can be very hard not to have any support. Hang in there.
Instead of picking them up, have you ever tried sitting on the floor near the cribs and holding a hand or rubbing a back? At first they will freak out bc they are used to you picking them up but after the first night or two they will get used to you not picking them up when it is time for bed. For us, it was all about sleep-training. It truly sucks the first 1-2 nights but after that they sleep through the night with no issues.
Thanks so much for the feedback. They are usually great sleepers (11-12 hours a night). This is a new thing and I think it is related to separation anxiety. I try not to pick them up but to just stroke their backs and their hair. I've never hung out in their room for a while though while sitting on the floor. If it happens tonight I may end up going in with a blanket and sleeping on the floor until this anxiety phase passes. I don't want to start any bad habits though.
It's bad during the day too. I work and he melts down every day when I leave. The nanny has to take him into another room and distract him. Whenever there is a new person in the room or we go to visit someone, it takes about 20 minutes at least before he stops clinging to me. He is this way with his dad too.
Thanks for the feedback--it helps to hear that there are others in the same boat.
we (all 3 of us) rocked to sleep on nites like those...sorry...for one of my dd's she had a terrible seperation anxiety phase around 14-16 months...eventually she grew out of it...in the meantime the other posters offered some great suggestions...and fwiw I totally support the you do what you've got to do mentality...if that means sleeping on their floor a few nites so you are all rested before you start sleep training...so be it....GL!!
Don't worry! Honestly for me, it's easier because I'm not using to having someone else around, messing up my routine.
For us, separation anxiety comes and goes, even now. It will last for a few weeks, and then everyone will be comfortable sleeping in their own beds all night again. Do you think this is related to your husband being gone?