S/O scheduling - what worked for you?

ninjabridemom · January 2012

I've read that a good thing to do is keep them on the same schedule during the day, but for night feedings, let them sleep until they wake and leave sleeping babies to sleep (barring, of course, weight gain issues). So I think this is what we're going to try, especially because we're both (hopefully) going to be working. I will be trying to breastfeed.

But I'm wondering what worked best for you. Was it easier to keep them on the same schedule ALL the time? Did you try something like what I'd read? Did 1 baby just never adjust and so their schedules were always staggered?

Haven1 · January 2012

Oh no no no. One up, BOTH up. At least in the beginning. Maybe you'll have great luck with super quick breastfeeders, but most likely, the process of getting up, feeding, burping, changing, back to sleep is going to take some time. You'll never get sleep if you have to do that whole routine at seperate times.

I stopped waking both at night when I knew DS2 was close to sttn around 14 weeks. He was falling into a predictable pattern, so I knew we were close. DS1 didn't sttn until 17 weeks.

As far as keeping them on the same schedule, still, at 18 months, they are on the exact same schedule. One might nap a little longer than the other, but they eat, go down, wake up in the morning, etc always together. I'd lose my marbles if they didn't.

ColleenS629 · January 2012

I'm not sure I totally understand your question. Do you mean that if one baby wakes up during the night you will feed him and let the other baby stay asleep, then feed the other baby when he wakes up? I did not do this. I found that when I tried to feed them one at a time during the day, the other inevitably woke up while I was feeding and wanted to eat too. I was not willing to be up all night feeding them individually so if one woke up, I woke the other and fed them both. I did wait until the first baby woke up on his own to eat. This was after we were given permission to stop waking them at night. You will likely have to wake them at night in the beginning until their weight gain is good.

ETA: I plan to stop the "feed one, feed both" overnight when I consistently have to wake the same baby. We're not at that point yet. Some nights A is the one waking to eat and sometimes it's R.

ougrad1 · January 2012

At the very beginning you need to follow their lead. BUT, if you do something for one you HAVE to do the same for the other or you will lose your mind.

I always fed one while the other slept and then, fed the other. The swing was a godsend when my H didn't get up with me to feed.

One up, both up-as much as it hurts to do this, it's the only option if you plan on getting any sleep at all.

ninjabridemom · January 2012

Okay -- so the "let the sleeping baby sleep" thing is something to start when you get cues from them.

But let a baby who wakes first dictate the night-time schedule.

That makes sense. I'm actually really glad I asked now!!!

For those who BF'd, would you recommend (if it works for us during the day, obv) tandem feeding at night?

pea-kay · January 2012

We kept them on the same schedule, ALWAYS. I didn't want to be up 3x more often than necessary.

pea-kay · January 2012

ninjabridemom:
Okay -- so the "let the sleeping baby sleep" thing is something to start when you get cues from them.

"let the sleeping baby sleep" and "never wake a sleeping baby" - those apply to singleton parents. Wink

LoveTravel · January 2012

For us the same schedule all the time was the way to go. Once one of them woke up I would feed, burp, change diaper and put him to bed and wake the other one up (if not already up) and do the same routine all over again.

You'll see what works best for you, but I couldn't of imagined having to do this routine sporadically and not getting any rest, especially since I was the only one waking up with the boys.

Even now they're over 2 years old and we try to ensure same nap time schedule, while it doesn't always work out- it does 80% of the time, and with being pregnant I take full advantage of resting while they're both napping.

EveTyer24 · January 2012

Just a little comment about BFing. It took a toll on me. Two babies are A LOT to handle, even with help. I was EXTREMELY sleep deprived and having to wake or be awake longer to pump in the early morning hours made me more miserable. Heck, having to pump (or "put work" into nursing at any hour was really, really hard on me.

I'm just saying this so you can be prepared, but hopefully you'll have a better and much easier experience.

LoveTravel · January 2012

ninjabridemom:

Okay -- so the "let the sleeping baby sleep" thing is something to start when you get cues from them.

But let a baby who wakes first dictate the night-time schedule.

That makes sense. I'm actually really glad I asked now!!!

For those who BF'd, would you recommend (if it works for us during the day, obv) tandem feeding at night?

If you can tandem feed that's awesome, for me it never worked so I BF them each one at a time (day and night), hopefully a "tandem" feeding MoM can let you know about nighttime

ninjabridemom · January 2012

Thanks, all! Really good tips. I'm prepared for bf'ing (two!) to be hard. It's pretty much all I plan on doing for the first few weeks. I'm really hoping tandem works but if it doesn't, that's okay, too.

It's all starting to get really overwhelming, though, lol. I mean -- they could be here as soon as 8 weeks, healthily, and less if something happens. :-S

Okay, when I say overwhelming, I mean terrifying.

ColleenS629 · January 2012

ninjabridemom:
Okay -- so the "let the sleeping baby sleep" thing is something to start when you get cues from them.

But let a baby who wakes first dictate the night-time schedule.

That makes sense. I'm actually really glad I asked now!!!

For those who BF'd, would you recommend (if it works for us during the day, obv) tandem feeding at night?

Yes! I couldn't tandem feed at first (not that it mattered in the beginning because only one would nurse, I had to pump and bottle feed the other). Once I started tandem feeding, it made a world of difference. I needed an LC to help me get the hang of it but it was the best money I ever spent. I did have to use shields in the beginning to get them both latched when tandem feeding but I was able to get them off of the shields after we all got used to tandem. FWIW, tandem nursing was actually easier for me at night when I was first getting used to it because I had DH there to help me.

kiwi443 · January 2012

Ditto keeping them on the same schedule. It really is essential to your mental well-being. I'm tandem nursing and if it works out for you I'd recommend it. I'm not getting much sleep as it is, I can't imagine bfing separately.

cleeksock · January 2012

I've been tandem feeding since we got home from the hospital. I have an EZ 2 Nurse pillow and it makes nursing competely hands free right now. My guys like to nurse anywhere from 20-45 minutes, so at night I just get them latched and usually I'll doze sitting up while they nurse.

I *always* have to wake up Parker at night, and Jonah wakes us up. On the couple occasions I let Parker sleep, he had me up an hour later to feed him.

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