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DD doesn't want me...

brienne00brienne00 member
in Attachment Parenting
As soon as MIL or FIL are in sight (we temporarily live with them) she is climbing over everything to get to them. If they leave the room or I try to take her away, she cries, I mean really cries huge tears. For me... not so much, she just waves bye bye and smiles.... It's sweet, but I'm jealous! Shouldn't she be crying when I leave the room!? What can I do, if anything?  
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Re: DD doesn't want me...

  • brienne00brienne00 member
    nothing? can anyone relate? 
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  • etoyamaetoyama member
    imagebrienne00:
    nothing? can anyone relate? 
    Sorry hon :( I'm sure it's just a phase and she'll be back to wanting you soon enough. Hang in there!
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  • MamasaurusMamasaurus member

    When my cousin was younger, she didn't mind leaving her mommy because she knew mommy would always come back, and mommy was who she saw the most. The people she spent less time with or went for longer periods without seeing--her dad, especially--were the ones she got clingy with and cried about leaving. Her mom didn't get why she seemed to always want her dad more when he was not really involved.

    Now she is older and doesn't like her dad much. They don't get along, and she has picked up on his non-involved approach and realized if she wants somebody to play with her or show her how to do something, she should find mommy. She wants to do EVERYTHING with her mom, even go to the bathroom with her. It's almost like they are attached at the hip.

    So,  it could just be that she feels more secure in your relationship, or simply wants more of the people she sees less. In a couple of years, you might be wishing she just waved and said goodbye when she's in tears because you didn't take her into the shower with you!

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  • brienne00brienne00 member
    imageMamasaurus:

    When my cousin was younger, she didn't mind leaving her mommy because she knew mommy would always come back, and mommy was who she saw the most. The people she spent less time with or went for longer periods without seeing--her dad, especially--were the ones she got clingy with and cried about leaving. Her mom didn't get why she seemed to always want her dad more when he was not really involved.

    Now she is older and doesn't like her dad much. They don't get along, and she has picked up on his non-involved approach and realized if she wants somebody to play with her or show her how to do something, she should find mommy. She wants to do EVERYTHING with her mom, even go to the bathroom with her. It's almost like they are attached at the hip.

    So,  it could just be that she feels more secure in your relationship, or simply wants more of the people she sees less. In a couple of years, you might be wishing she just waved and said goodbye when she's in tears because you didn't take her into the shower with you!

    Thanks, this really helps. I hope that this is the case. LOL except for the meltdowns when she gets older. (I know wishful thinking)! 

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  • Ardmhs83Ardmhs83 member
    My son is in a daddy kick right now...it makes me really sad that all he wants is his daddy.  When I was nursing him he was all about me, but now all of a sudden he isn't.  I am hoping it is just a phase.  It is really sad that when he hurts himself and my DH isn't there, I pick him up to comfort him and he says, "dada."  :-(  I am a good mom..WTH?
    PPD/PPA Mom...it has been super hard, but I'm making it! Slow steps...
    Mom to Carter (6), and Calianne (1).  
    Proud VBAC, natural birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering momma!


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  • Joka1234Joka1234 member
    I'm usually a lurker, but I literally joined the site JUST so I could reply to this...my DD is almost 9 months and is the exact same way. It's hard not to take it personally. My MIL lives with us and takes care of her during the day while I am at work and I swear she think she is her mother. She is BF, and I am convinced she sees me as 'the lady the milk comes from'. I'm usually home by 3 or 4pm, so my DD spends several hours a day with me. My MIL is still there, however, so I don't think she gets enough alone time with me. She will cry if my MIL walks away or uses the bathroom. She will do the same thing with DH (who she sees for maybe 1 or 2 hours a day). If I leave it's like she could not care less. I cosleep and nurse her throughout the night, but as soon as she opens her eyes she can't wait to get out of bed and find MIL or DH. It really hurts because I love her so much, and although I know she loves me it's hard to have her screaming crying in my arms looking for her grandma or dad, knowing that I'm the one that carried her, gave birth to her, and is up every 1-2 hours at night feeding her! I just tell myself that this is a phase and that someday she'll realize I'm her mama...
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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