Talk this through with me...

firsttogo · January 2012

If you have a moment.

So, I started the RN program two weeks ago, and since day 2 of daycare, one , two or three of my kids have been sick. I know that this is par for daycare, but ugh!

Second, DH just got a new job. His new company is smaller, so the health insurance benefits are very expensive, so I will be getting insurance through my employer, but being part time, I will be basically be working for benefits. That is ok, but it also means that I HAVE to keep at least a 0.5 status to keep benefits.

I am just feeling like this is not the time for us for me to be in school. We are paying for daycare with student loans starting mid-feb, as we will have gone through what we have saved. My program is time sensitive due to 'expiration dates' on the entrance exams ect.

I just feel like I can not work and be in school, and raise thee little children all at once. I also don't WANT to have the quality of life that we have now. Rushing around, missing out on my kids to study ect.

Is it the end of the world if I remain a tech for the long haul? Is that really the end of the world?

CJ71903 · January 2012

I've considered going back to school for my BSN (I already have a four year degree so my generals are complete). Reading your post reminds me of why I'm afraid of going back. The more I have thought about it, the more I think that I want to wait until my kids are in school or even a little older to go back. On the flip side, I also realize that I need my own identity that is separate from being with my kids all the time. Sometimes I feel that I lose my sense of self and when they leave the nest, albeit many years from now, I want to have a life. It's such a hard decision. Best of luck to you with whatever you decide.

JillRock96 · January 2012

It is not the end of the world. I think that whatever feels "right" for you and your family is what you should do. On one hand, I truly believe there is never a good time for changes like this, and at some point you just have to dive in and commit. But, on the other hand, I really understand what it is like to feel like you are missing out and to make your family a priority for the sake of your career. You know I took a big pay cut this year so that I could be home more with the girls, and even though it is more difficult financially, I am so glad I did it. ((((HUGS)))) and good luck with whatever you decide!

We still need to get together, btw. Meeting half-way is not so far...

krissyh21 · January 2012

Is it the end of the world - no. Is it what you want? Only you can answer that.

Maybe if it is too much for you -right now- you can reconsider it in a couple of years when the kids are in school full time?

RoxBride · January 2012

While only you know the $$$ ramifications for your family by quitting, if you are too stressed to enjoy life, your marriage and your kids, then it is too much.

I'd look at it this way - if going to school means your family is stressed to the max a total of one month a year, then it is probably worth it. If it puts the whole house under stress most of the time it so is not.

desabean · January 2012

Like others have said-- this is a really personal decision. We all have different aspects of our lives that vary on the value scale from one person to the next. I am pretty sure I could not be a SAHM even if the money was there....but I know others who would sacrifice a lot of what I have to stay at home and would love it.

From an analytical standpoint-- it sounds like you have to work 20 hours a week to keep your benefits, no matter what, right? How much time a week are you putting into classes and school work? My limit would be if it was more than 30 hours because that is more than working full time outside of the home...but if it is less then I feel like the fact that it is temporary (2 years?) would make it worth it to me to have more opportunities to provide for my family in a relatively short amount of time.

In theory you are going to work full time at some point in your life to pay for college, weddings, braces, vacations, etc. I would rather work full time at something I really want to do.

Also, I feel like (though what do I know) you have already invested a lot into this decision...right? Taking the exams, getting into the program, enrolling and starting classes, you are 1/8th of the way done with your first semester already. You could drop out and possibly get a lot of your tuition back but what if you change your mind again-- you'll have to do everything you've already done over again. I would say, stick with this semester and see how it goes.

Good luck!!

howleyshell · January 2012

I tried working on pre-recs for entrance into PA school while working part time.

It was really really really hard on us. More specifically it was really hard on my youngest and my marriage.

You don't get this time back.

I plan to wait until they are in school. It will be easier on us financially, on me time-wise and on them emotionally.

What I realized was that while we COULD do it I honestly didn't know what kind of family I would have left at the end of the road.

My marriage is the foundation that our family is built on. That much pressure and absence in addition to having kids this young was a potential recipe for disaster.

I'll admit that I HATE the fact that I don't feel personally financially secure right now but I do have faith that the time will be right for us before too long and I will be able to make it happen without putting so much risk on the relationships with the people I love most.

It's a tough call. I admire people who do it. I know we COULD do it but I'm just not willing to have my family pay that price at this point in time.

GypsyEsq · January 2012

My only concern with quitting is what Desa said, you've invested so much and if you're exams/pre-reqs expire then that's it isn't it? I mean would you do it all again? Then you raise the issue of having already gone through your savings and planning on using student loan money on living. If you drop out that amount becomes due and owing very quickly. Would having that loan to payback without the benefit of having the nursing degree be harder than just working through the adjustment to day care? Finally, and I think this is a tough one but what is your time worth, those 20 hours a week you'd work for your benefits, when compared the cost of family healthcare through DH. Understanding that it costs more to go through your DH would it ultimately work out better for you? Because seriously that's the place where I see leeway. You've mentioned here a lot about your desire to fulfill this professional and educational goal, you've also mentioned you and your husband want more kids down the line. Imagine the life you could provide for them and you if you see this through? It's difficult but sometimes I do think you have to take the long view.

naflmj · January 2012

How long is the program and how much do you enjoy being a tech? I say if you really want to be an RN then the short term sacrifice is worth the long term gain. Obviously it's not the end of the world, if your family is safe and their needs are met and you are happy in your work and home, then there is nothing wrong with that!

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