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April 2012 Moms
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Now I'm popular?

alisonmsmithalisonmsmith member
in April 2012 Moms

Why all of the sudden do people want to spend quality time with me and share in my blessings? (catch the sarcasm?)

My oldest sister who lives 2000 miles away and who I haven't had a full conversation with since our wedding 3 years ago, will not stop calling or texting asking when I'm bringing Bug to visit or when can she visit. She is a drama magnet (and maker) and I really don't want to play host to her. She is not the type of person to be a "helper", so I've already ruled that out.

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed as it is (can ya tell?), but I don't have an extra ounce of brain-juice to devote to planning her summer vacation to invade my home. I just want to deliver a healthy baby in ~10 weeks, get him/her home, and try to figure out this crazy new life...summer is too far away.

Am I being hormonal, justified or both?

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Re: Now I'm popular?

  • mertensemertense member
    I can understand not wanting to play host to your sister if she is a drama magnet and hasn't wanted to spend any time with you before you had the baby. I would hate to have a house guest that would be a ton of work, especially when trying to adjust to a new routine. That being said my little sister comes and lives with dh and I over the summer and has since dd was born, but she is a huge help so we love having her! You could try telling her that you don't think you will be up to a house guest this summer but maybe next summer she can come and visit you. Do you have any other relatives in the area where she can stay instead of invading your house in case she decides she just has to come?
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  • dojo1dojo1 member
    To me, family os the most important thing in the world and someone in my family would have to do something unforgivably egregous for me to cut them out. I think if she's making an effort to connect with you that would be enough for me to make the effort back. Not to say you can't have barriers like if she comes she stays with other family or in a hotel.

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  • eav2ceav2c member
    I'd give her a chance, TBH. I'd love to have a bigger outlet of family who showed an ounce of caring. Sure, she's filled with drama but it doesn't mean her intentions are bad. You aren't obligated to host her in your home however you can't tell her not to come visit. Likewise, you aren't obligated nor should you plan anything for her. Your mind is focused elsewhere, in that respect. GL!
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  • learningfromlifelearningfromlife

    imageeav2c:
    I'd give her a chance, TBH. I'd love to have a bigger outlet of family who showed an ounce of caring. Sure, she's filled with drama but it doesn't mean her intentions are bad. You aren't obligated to host her in your home however you can't tell her not to come visit. Likewise, you aren't obligated nor should you plan anything for her. Your mind is focused elsewhere, in that respect. GL!

    I agree with this. My older sister and I have never been close (her doing) and as far as I know she's never thought of me as more than a step sister (I'm actually adopted, but whatever). During younger years she was always taking advantage of our dad (he divorced her mom and adopted me after marrying my mom) and causing a TON of drama. She will also never come see us unless my parents pay her full way and even then she's always jetting off to see her mom. She was supposedly planning to come to my wedding before her husband got transferred, but seeing as how I can count on one hand the number of times I've been able to see my niece and nephews, I doubt she would have come even without the transfer... it's very sad.

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  • alisonmsmithalisonmsmith member

    Thank you all for the feedback.

    She's a handful for sure - I'm not here to air her dirty laundry, but she has done plenty of egregious things to our family that warrant exclusion - but, I finally replied that she can come visit as her schedule needs, but not be a house guest (with her two Tweens). She can stay with my other sister down in town and we'll meet up as we can. That seemed to be a workable response.

    Thanks again,
    Happy Tuesday All. 

     

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