My princess dilemma
Matildasun
member
Yesterday a package came for A. It was a Christmas present from my aunt and uncle. She was immediately drawn to the paint kit, which gave me a chance to look at the second present and hide it away before she saw it. It was a Disney princess CD player. My girl loves music, all music. Her own toy cd player would be cherished and well used. If it wasn't for the princess problem.
My problem with the princesses is not that they are princesses. It is that they are big business. I was the girliest of little girls. I dressed up in my mother's night gowns and played princess all the time. I loved my dolls. I told people that I wanted to be Miss America when I grew up. I also rode my bike all the time and loved rolling in mud puddles. I am not worried about girliness. We have a wide range of toys and so far she likes them all. I have tried to avoid branding and toys that are marketed from movies or TV.
There is something though about those princesses that gives me pause. I feel like once I introduce them there is no turning back that she will be sucked into the princess vortex and never emerge ( I am being melodramatic on purpose, because it is fun).
For now the CD played is on a shelf out of sight. I think we are not going to give it to her for a while if ever.
I thought this might be an interesting discussion.
How do you feel about toys that are based on Movies or TV shows?
Are there toys that you want to postpone introducing or try to avoid altogether?
Are the princess in question okay in moderation or is there no such thing?
Re: My princess dilemma
I struggle with this myself. I don't like to buy "branded" things. I tried really hard to stay away from elmo and princesses. To this day, I have not bought anything Elmo or Princess, and for some reason felt this twinge when I bought Dora underwear. I've tried to get the grandparents not to buy these things either, but they do. So, my newer thought is that they're ok in moderation. Honestly, Sophia is exposed to a lot of these things at daycare. She comes home talking about Thomas this, Dora that. That was before she'd even seen Thomas, and we still haven't ever watched Dora. I'm not sure how she even knows it is a tv show.
I think it is for my own sanity and not being frustrated all the time that I went to the "in moderation" policy. And, she only gets these things if someone else buys them, generally.
Ava isn't into the pricesses at all since we've never really introduced her to them. She did get Beauty and the Beast for Christmas and that was the first "princess" movie she watched. She is like your DD--she loves music, dancing and a variety of things and I like it like that. Is she girly, yes, but it's not pushed on her. She has a big box of DS's matchbox cars that are one of her favorite things to play with and we think that's great.
She got her first Barbie last month and it's in the bottom of the toy box. If she eventually starts like them (or baby dolls which she isn't into either), that's great but if she is never interested in that stuff, I'd be ok with that too.
With that said, if Ava got a princess cd player, I wouldn't keep it from her. She probably wouldn't even notice the princesses on it, but if she did, it wouldn't be a big deal to me.
I remember posts on TB about refusing to buy their LO's clothes with characters on them. I never understood that--if DD wanted a shirt with Mickey Mouse or Elmo on it, it's not going to kill her, or me, to buy it for her.
I can sympathize with you but only to a degree. I don't mind toys that are based on movies or TV. Yes, they're a big business but it's because they're popular and kids love them. I don't see a problem with the toys at all. True it can become an obessession and some could argue that it limit's a child's imagination but I think this all comes down to parenting. How often you let your child watch the shows with these characters and how much you allow them to be around the characters and these toys. I think everything is OK in moderation. Having a daughter, I know that it's only a matter of time before Bailey knows these princesses (it doesn't help that we were innudated with princess stuff for Christmas by my SIL) but I am perfectly OK with it. I grew up with these characters and love them and I love the new ones they're introducing too (Yay, Tangled!).
I do however strongly dislike clothing with characters on them. I don't mind a Belle fariy dress to play dress-up with but I really don't like tee shirts with Dora/Winnie the pooh/Anything Disney printed on them. I know, I probably sound like a heartless mom and I know I will have to give in at some point when Bailey wants Dora dress but for now while I get to choose her clothes, she'll dress in the non-commercialized clothing that I like.
I'd let her use the toy. Again, you're the parent and you control just how much exposure she really has. She might not even take to it but she might and I wouldn't want to deny her of that.
Someone's getting a little brother!
Is it the one that looks like Cinderella's coach. I almost got that for DD for Christmas, but it got crappy reviews. Can you sell it and use the money to buy DD a CD player that isn't princess themed?
As for your question- It is tough. I feel like EVERYTHING is branded now. I do try to find things that aren't related to TV shows, but sometimes it is really hard. I have no problem with Sesame Street and Winnie the Pooh, I guess because in my mind they are more "classic" characters.
DD is a very girlie girl. Today she is earing a pink tu-tu to school over her regular clothes. She doesn't own anything princess related, but that wasn't by design. It just hasn't happened yet.
We are just entering the princess phase and its really very interesting. I have adopted an "everything in moderation" policy too. We are full members of the Dora cult too. I honestly have no problem w/ Dora and I'm happy with her as a role model for DD and someone she can identify with. I try to keep a lid on the branded/character "products" but we do have Dora PJs, Dora purses/backpacks and Dora undies; we also have Princess undies and a Princess pop up tent that she was given.
I'm very aware and skepticla of marketing and I know its a racket, but its not like she doesn't need underwear either and if giving her a choice between Dora underwear vs. plain white ones is what gets her dressed or encourages her to be independent sometimes, I'm OK with. IDK - I just can't get that worked up about this topic. I think its like everythign else - if you show yourself to be a label whore and walk around w/ everything w/ labels/logos, etc. your kids will pick up on that from you. If you present yourself as someone who's not into that, then your kids will not be overly obsessed w/ it either.
Disclaimer: I have boys so obviously the "princess thing" doesn't apply to me.
I hope I can say this without sounding snarky or dismissive....I've never really understood this whole discussion and why its a huge problem for some people. It just seems like people really over-think this. I don't think having a few princess items will make a child turn into a tiny demanding wannabe princess or anything.
Re: branded things. DS loves Thomas the Train. I mean loooooooooovvvvvves. He watches them on Sprout, he has a bajillion of the trains and accessories, he carries them around everywhere with him. He can name them all. He even has one shirt (!!!) with thomas on it. I love seeing his eyes light up when he plays with his trains and has them all talking to eachother, etc. I guess I just really don't see the harm in it.
Again, I hope I am not coming across the wrong way, just wanted to present a different point of view.
It doesn't seem snarky at all. I know she will be exposed to these things eventually, but right now I want to give her a wider base of interests. I over think everything I buy, it has taken me two years to find new black shoes for myself, so it makes sense that I would debate this with myself.
For some reason the boy branding doesn't bother me as much. It tends to follow a clear developmental pattern. Some how, to me, the Disney princess thing feels more intrusive, menacing, and longer lasting. I don't mind the movies individually, but all the princesses together gazing blindly out into space, gives me the creeps, and I am not exactly sure why.
I laughed out loud at this because I know exactly what you are talking about.
Anyway, it does make for an interesting discussion and you brought up some good points.
yeah - the princesses are creepy, but I also see a differences - even at DD's age between the girls who's moms are REALLY into the princess thing and almost push it or at the very least, they aren't being picky about what they cultivate about it and the daughters like mine where the moms are monitoring it closely. DD likes to be called princess, but we make very sure we talk about how princesses are smart and helpful and run really, really fast and eat all their carrots, etc. as well as being pretty.
Have you seen the Fairy/Tinkerbell stuff? Similar to the Princesses, but more geared for younger girls - and they work together, build/fix stuff, etc. so I thought it would be OK. Nope - they do work together, but they dress like skanks and they are totally bitchyandcliquey ALL.THE.TIME
Disney just doesn't know how or doesnt' want to present any kind of healthy girl models IMO.
I don't really like "branded" things either. We don't get clothes for D' that have cartoon or movie characters (no Toy Story, Cars, Nemo, Mickey Mouse, etc). I want him to just be a little boy in regular clothes & have regular kid toys. I hate that it seems to be pushed on kids that "Hey, if you like that show, you must get all the stuff to go with it!!" He seems perfectly happy with his non-tv/movie clothes & toys.
We're having another boy so I can't say how we would handle the princess side of things. I just hope that, if we have more kids down the road & 1 is a girl, we stick to the same idea of "generic" clothing & toys
Amen, sister.
If branding is a bad thing, DS might be seriously scarred. He would roll around in a pile of Thomas paraphernalia if he could. I think it's a little weird to take it to ridiculous extremes, but who cares if my kid is into Flynn Rider (yum) or some vague, nameless stuffed animal? And for what it's worth, I think Rapunzel is a pretty kick a$$ chick.
lovelylittleworld
BFP#2 1/12/12 ~ Missed M/C 8w2d
DD seriously loves Elmo. When Seasame Street comes on she yells at the other characters to go get Elmo. It's hilarious!
This might be the cutest thing I've ever heard!
I do find interesting some of the market research that has been conducted concerning branding and food and to extrapolate on that the implications that this might have on childhood obesity, etc. For instance, there was a study conducted where children were asked to pick something to eat out of two choices. Time and time again the kids picked the items that had the brand characters on it that they had come to love. They even picked a rock to eat over a banana due to the Shrek stickers found on the rock. (The banana did not have any stickers.)
ETA: The kids were not opposed to bananas as soon as the researchers placed stickers on the bananas, the children chose them over the other food choices (rocks included).