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Upstate NY Babies
don't know how much more i can take
i really think i am reaching my breaking point. I know i should be thankful for my wonderful husband and kids and that none of us are sick and we have a roof over our heads and I am. I really am...
but how much can one family go through. Dh is still unemployed. He hasn't had a interview since november. he is applying everyday and never hears a thing. then there are rumors at work about my position being cut or a huge paycut. we are getting by now but with a paycut we can't live. plus i think dh's unemployment is going to run out in march. it's not fair that other people can get 99 weeks of unemployment and he can't. If all of this happens I don't know what we will do. there wouldn't be a point of staying here anymore. I don't want to go through the process of selling the house. I would just like to hand the keys over to the bank. I don't have the time or energy or help to get our house ready to show. plus to have to keep it perfectly clean on a daily basis. never going to happen with 2 toddlers and 2 dogs.
worst case scenario we would have to move in with my parents and that is embarrassing. I would have to either put my dogs to sleep or give them up for adoption. we can't have 4 dogs that don't get along in my parents little house. i feel like such a failure. this isn't how I imagined my life would be. i wanted more. i wanted better. at least the kids are so young they wouldn't know what was going on other than they would see their grandparents and cousins.
i wish i could go back to that day when i was told my position was being eliminated and i could move to buffalo and take over the region once it was developed. i wish i didn't feel loyalty at that timeto a company that would screw my dh 8 months later and me a year after that. I wish i could have know that getting that stupid bonus would end up costing me more than i ever knew
i'm sorry for venting and i may dd but i just need to get it off of my chest
This discussion has been closed.
Re: don't know how much more i can take
Jewls - I cannot even begin to imagine the emotions that you and your family deal with each day, and I ams o sorry that you are going through this. You are most definitely not a failure.
What field is your DH in again? Also, if you want another set of eyes to look at his resume, Im pretty good at resume editing, Id be more than happy to take a look for you...
(((hugs))) You are not a failure.
I am so sorry your family is going through this.....and the fact that this crap keeps happening just sucks. I hope that you see a light at the end of the tunnel real soon. If you end up back with your parents it won't be the end of the world, the kids will be in their glory.
"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay then it's not the end" Paolo Coelho
Julie- you are NOT a failure. You have 2 beautiful, awesome kids who really, really love their mommy. It's so hard when things do go how we expected them to. I know it's no help, but from the few times I've met your mom she seems super sweet and would be a great mom to live with. Yes, you're right, the kids are so young they will never remember any "hard times" that may or may not happen. I don't see it getting to that point. You pay cut is just a rumor and those can be nasty in retail.
If N's unemployment runs out maybe he's to that point where he just needs to take something even if only temporary. It may not be the money he was making before or even in his field but even some random geico or bank job may be better than 0.
I'm really sorry. I've said it before but I feel like I'm in a similar situation and definitely get the feeling like a failure part. It's a really disheartening, depressing situation to be in, I hope he finds something soon. I know how much happier I would be about my life if I could find a job and not feel like a failure.
Believe me. I know exactly what you're going through. It's been 3.5 years now since DH lost his job, and we are fighting everyday to keep our heads above water. I've gone over the "what if's" a million times. I've seethed with anger over how unfairly my DH was treated, all because of another man's ego. I've been questioning my faith alot lately. They say, "God does everything for a reason". I'm wondering how much longer we have to live like this before He makes up his mind what that reason is and cuts us a break.
You are not a failure. You have two beautiful children who love you very much. You will get through this, and all they're going to care is that you are there for them. Things will work out for you eventually, and you and DH will find your places in the world again. If I can hold out for that, so can you. {{HUGS}}
I'm so sorry you are going through this. Hoping that February brings better days. I have no words of wisdom that these ladies haven't already said. I wish I was there IRL to give you a hug. ((hugs))
TTC since 6/2003. m/c 9/14/03 8 weeks, 5 chemical pregnancies, mmc 6/04 12 weeks, Michael born sleeping 5/25/05 at 22weeks always our angel, fought ovarian cancer and won, m/c 4/06 5.2 weeks and 7/07 6.6 weeks,Our Miracle baby girl born 4/8/10,mc 12/18/11 at 5.3 weeks, BFP 10/26/12 dating u/s on 11/8/12 showing a strong heartbeat!EDD July 4,2013. RCS on 6/27. Baby boy in NICU for 8 long and scary days before he was able to come home. We are now a happy family of 4
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That sucks Jewels. Vent all you'd like... You are right, there is only so much one person can take. I hope your dh can find something soon.
Has he tried working w/ a job placement agency? My best friend works for AP Professionals, and I bowl with her boss who is the division president. I would be happy to give your her info so your DH can contact them. My friend deals w/ a lot of temp and entry level stuff, but they also get more high paying/experience needed jobs. She is constantly posting on FB about all the positions she has available. She is crazy busy at work, and said there are not enough people to fill all the jobs she has.
thanks girls. any help would be appreciated.
Wendy i am so sorry it has been that long for your dh. i didn't realize it. you are very strong b/c you never complain.
mrswhite-unemployment is determined by when you lost your job. so some people get the maximum of 99 weeks.
Can your DH apply for a job that isn't in his field? For instance - I graduated with my Master's, and my mom was sick, so I worked for Linen's N Things. I actually worked late, like til 2am type of thing, so it worked out with my mom's schedule, and the pay wasn't bad. Is it just that it isn't as much as unemployment?
And what about a temp agency? No disrespect to your DH, but I was in the same position as well as my DH. Again, I have a Master's, but I worked a temp job that was great, good pay, it filled in the time I was looking for another job. DH on the other hand wouldn't 'settle' for less than an awesome job, and it really cost us (especially since I had to pay like $375/month to add him to my health insurance).
I don't know anything about how much unemployment pays or how much daycare is, so my suggestions could be ridiculous.
I hope things get better for you. That is really tough, especially being in limbo, just not knowing. I can relate in some respects and I am so sorry you're going through this.
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