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Trouble TTC
Intro and trying to explain to DH..
After lurking for a few weeks I wanted to come out and introduce myself.
My name is Nicole and DH and I are on our 3rd loss since earlier this month. We have been together for 3 years and in May 2010 we found out we were expecting. Our first appointment went great and we were suprised to find out it was twins. However, at my 8 week appointment they found out I lost both-one stopped growing at 6 weeks the other at 7 weeks. It was very hard thing to go through and I ended up having a D&C the week after. We got married in May 2011 and started TTC again in June. I had a CP in July which again hurt. January of this year I found out we were expecting again. I started bleeding the next day after we found out and the dr confirmed it was another CP;however, the week after we found out through my blood levels that I was still pregnant and they were going up but only to find out 3 days later that I would miscarry because they weren't doubling.
My doctor referred us to an RE doctor who we are meeting with on Feb 9th to start the process of testing. My OB thinks I either have a hormone disorder or blooding clotting disorder since I can get pregnant but can not hold a pregnancy. My fear is that the RE doctor is going to immediately go to my history of cancer-I have been cancer free for about 3 years from cervical and ovarian cancer. Which I don't think is the main reason to whats going on.
My DH and I were talking the other night and he asked me why its so important that we have to go to the RE doctor now and not in a couple months. I tried to explain to him that its just a feeling-I want to be a mom. I cry when others announce their pregnancies and of course be happy for them but inside its hard because its not me-selfish yes but I can't help. I don't know how to explain to him in words why I want a baby now, why I want to keep trying, why I want to get answers so this doesn't keep happening (i've told him that). Can anyone relate or offer advice?
Married Since 05/14/11
BFP #1- 5/30/10 HB 6/12/10-Its twins MC-6/21/2010
CP July 2011
BFP #3-1/5/12 EDD- 9/11/12 MC- 1/17/2012
diagnosed with FVL 3/30/12
BFP #4-05/21/12- EDD 01/29/13
Our rainbow girl Cameron Rae born 1/8/13 @ 5lbs10oz 19inches long.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Intro and trying to explain to DH..
Welcome! I can't relate exactly because we've been unable to get pregnant at all. I know there are many women on this board with repeated losses as well. I hope some of them will chime in and give you some insight.
I hope your testing goes well and you can get your sticky baby soon. Have you tried charting or OPKs to see how long your luteal phase is?
i am so sorry for all that you have been through. i cannot imagine having to suffer three losses like that.
as long as YH is on board with continuing to try, then i think it's important you pursue the RE to investigate what is causing your losses and learn what steps you can take to prevent it from happening again. we have not had experiences nearly as intense or heartbreaking as yours, but it took my H upwards of a year to finally understand the pain i felt in watching all the women around me get pregnant as i struggled to even ovulate on my own. one time, he found me crying after a friend announced her pregnancy, and he actually got angry at me for not feeling happy for her. a month before her baby was born, he came to me and apologized for not supporting me then- for whatever reason, it finally clicked for him, and he was not only on board with TTC, but was actively excited and anxious for it to happen.
i think what he needs most is time, unfortunately. explain to him in the most logical terms possible how you're feeling, and then just give him a chance to meet you there emotionally. and if he does want to continue trying, then make sure he knows an RE visit is essential for your health, and the health of your future LO's. best of luck.