If you have had your 2nd or preg with your 3rd or more?

tdjmah · January 2012

My DS will be 2 1/2 when this baby is born and I am worried how he is going to take me being gone for 3-4 days. I know that he will come visit in the hospital but will he understand why im there. Did DC stay home with dad or stay by someone else so dad could be at the hospital with you? How difficult was it taking care of an older child after having a c-section? TIA!

l_elizabeth · January 2012

I worried about this too. My son was 21 months when my youngest was born, and my MIL came and stayed at our house with him. We had the baby Thursday and came home Saturday (a day early, but we were all fine). I was really glad though, I missed my DS and I knew it wasn't the easiest on him. He did fine though overall. He came to the hospital to see us, and was very scared initially (I think because I was in a big bed hooked up to stuff). My husband just held him and let him warm up-- they walked down the halls which he thought was cool. Then they came back and he sat in bed with me and did well. We just made sure he knew had an important job now, to be a big brother. We got him a big brother present and included him from the beginning. He's done great. I am SO glad that we had someone stay with him while I was in the hospital, I could not have done it without my DH. Emotionally, I just needed his support. Recovery-wise I did totally fine, I was good on day 3 when we came home, and I'd say by day 5 or 6 I felt back to myself. I was off pain meds by day 4 and driving as well. I had to be careful with picking him up, but I did that after a week and it was fine. My DH stayed home from work for two weeks with the new baby and basically handled my older son, thank god. He's busy, so I needed help! Now my mom comes over once or twice a week to give me a break. It's all an adjustment, but doable.

manbearpig31610 · January 2012

Just had my 2nd c/s in Nov. I was only in the hospital for 2 days but heres what we did. DD1 was 20 months when DD2 was born. c/s was bright and early in the morning (7) because I wanted DH there with me the whole day. My parents came over to our house at 4am (friday), while DD was still asleep and we left for the hospital so we could be there at 4:30, as instructed. My parents stayed with DD all day and DH stayed with me until 7pm that night (DD's bedtime is 8), then went home so he could do her bedtime routine and put her to bed. For the 2 days I was in the hospital DH would sleep at home with DD, get her up at 7am (which is her usual routine) feed her breakfast, then my parents would come to our house and spend the day with her so he could spend the day with me. He'd leave the hospital just in time to do her bedtime routine and put her to bed. To make it easier on myself I chose to keep DD2 in the nursery at night. I could have had her room in, if I wanted to but I thought it would be best if I weren't getting up and down constantly and I didn't want to just hold her in bed with me because I was afraid I'd fall asleep like that (bad for obvious reasons). So, shewent to the nursery and the nurses brought her to me to feed (we EBF). DD1 came and visited the next morning (Saturday). I wanted to wait until my IV and cathater were out and I was up and moving. She was pretty good but we made it a quick visit (under an hour). She had no idea what was going on but she was excited about the baby (she loves babies). The next day (Sunday) I was discharged and felt really good. Was still taking pain meds but felt about 90%. DH had the next week off work so I had his help with DD1. He went back to work when I was 10 days pp but by then I was 100% and no longer taking any meds. I was able to take care of both little ones on my own without over doing it. I did still have people bringing dinners so I did not have to worry about that but that was the only help I had and I was fine. Hope it is just as easy for you. Good luck!

RaeAnt · January 2012

Ds will be almost 2.5 when DD is born.I will be having a scheduled c/s with this one due to the issue of trying to birth vaginally with DS. Anyway. we're having it scheduled on a Friday so Dh will be there. My mom is flying in to stay with ds and help over the next couple of weeks. That way Ds can have some undivided attention while we concentrate on the baby. We will probably have Dh go home to put DS to bed and stay there til he gets up. If this time is like the last time. I just slept off and on most of my nights and also had DS go to the nursery so i could sleep. Plus, I"ll sleep better without DH snoring Stick out tongue

mlf625 · January 2012

I remember being worried, because I SAH and DS and I have a pretty tight bond, but it was a non-issue. DS was just shy of 17 months when DD came. I had my parents and sister come to town two days before my c/s so DS could get comfortable with them in the house and they could learn his routine. I was in the hospital Friday - Monday and DS had a total blast at home with the grandparents and auntie. DH stayed with me and the new baby at the hospital, but did run home once a day to grab a shower and hang out with DS for a bit. I strongly prefer rooming in, and it was 100x easier to do that with DH there to give me a hand. Plus, I thought it was important bonding time for us and DD, too. He says that, too - he felt like he got some time to just get to know her without worrying about splitting his attention. My parents and sister brought DS every day to see me, but he usually didn't want to stay long before he was out and down the hall looking for something exciting to do. So ... safe to say he didn't miss me like I thought he would.

IMO, if DC can stay in their usual surroundings, that's best. I felt like so much was changing with the baby that it was nice for not much else to be changed in his life right then.

As far as caring for him when I came home, no big deal at all. I had quick recoveries each time (both scheduled c/s) and was able to gently help him climb into and out of his crib at nap and bed times. I was just careful to move slowly and other than one time where he fell and I snapped down to scoop him up, I never had any pain resulting from caring for DS. My mom and dad stayed for a week, and after that, I was totally fine on my own. I wore DD in the Moby a lot and sat on the floor to play with DS while she slept or ate. We were back to story time/Target runs/playdates 3 weeks later.

shouldbworkin · January 2012

DS was in daycare, so that helped. I sent him to daycare the week I was in the hospital so that not much changed for him. I had a grandparent pick him up and bring him to visit and take him to dinner. then DH would go home to put him to bed and would get up with him in the AM and take him to daycare before coming to the hospital. It worked really well and DS was great with it. I sent him to daycare FT for the following week while I was home recovering too, after that he went part time until I returned to work.

Mama Jan · January 2012

DS1 was only 17mo. We had talked so much about the baby and he already knew the baby by name. He understood immediately when he met the baby (sure he didn't get the whole c-section / surgery thing but he understood the baby).

Just had DS3 and at almost 4yo DS1 understood the whole thing (surgery, baby, etc). DS2 is 2? and understood that I was having a baby but I don't think he gets the surgery part.

They stayed with my parents and came to visit 3 times (DH stayed in the hospital with me). We prepped them ahead of time that I would be in "special hospital jammies" and that I would have tubes (IV) in my arm to give me medicine the first day. You can see from my sig pic that they did just fine with that and were way more into the baby brother than the mama in the bed.

Strawberrywine · January 2012

We made the choice to have boys stay w/in laws while I was at hospital each time. My husband actually stayed with the inlaws rather than me at hospital to help boys adjust to changes. I was fine at hospital without him.

If you have had your 2nd or preg with your 3rd or more?

Re: If you have had your 2nd or preg with your 3rd or more?

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