Help, would you do this? — The Bump
Atlanta Babies

Help, would you do this?

MIL offered to take M for some time so we could get ready for the new baby, who's due on April 30th.  In my head, I thought that meant a week or so in February or March, when I still have the energy to do stuff around the house.  Her plan is to come down in mid-April to pick M up (they live 13 hours away) and bring her back once the baby is born, that way DH and I don't have to worry about what to do with her when I go into labor.  It's an extremely generous offer and I know M would have a blast being with them, but I'm not sure if I'll want her nearby during that time.  

Last pregnancy, I had GD so I knew I wouldn't go past my due date but I don't have it this time (yet, still checking my sugar levels) so I could go late and then she'd be gone for almost a month.  DH said he'd go pick her up if that happened.

Mothers of 2 or more, would you have or did you do anything like this before your second child was born?  Will I regret not spending those last few weeks with M as an only child or will I feel more relaxed knowing she's having fun and I can nest?

 

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Re: Help, would you do this?

  • I wanted to have E nearby.  For me, it was important for her to feel like a member of the family.  I wouldn't have wanted us to be settled up in HER house without her, and then have her come home to our new little family.  I may be weird, but for me, it was important for her to feel like she was still a part of the family.  I also know that I would have felt slightly nervous having her that far away.  I also know it was really important to me to have that last night with her as an only child.  She enjoyed coming to the hospital to meet her baby sister as well.  That's just me though.
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  • Thanks for the feedback, I'm thinking that's how I'm going to feel.  I guess I should clarify though that the in-laws are bringing her back while I'm still in the hospital so we won't be set up at home without her, and she'll get to come visit us there.  I'm not sure if that makes a difference.
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  • Personally I couldn't do it. Those last few weeks with just Bailey were so special to me and dh. Then the craziness of having 2 starts. The moments with just Bailey we still make but they are fewer and further between. I plan on doing some special things the week or so before this baby comes too for the boys. Oh and that last night putting Bailey to bed before my c/s was extremely special to me. He didn't know b/c he was only 15 months but he came out of the bath and gave me the biggest hug ever. I still remember that night like it was yesterday.
    BFP 12/23/07, M/C 1/25/08 Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I couldn't do it personally. These past few weeks have been really special to us. I've been spending extra time to talk to her about how she is going to be a big sister. and made an effort to make her part of the process of getting ready. Plus I wouldn't want her little routines disrupted so close to a new baby being added to the mix.
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  • I'd politely decline or offer the alternative of a week or so in Feb or March since the drive is so far.
  • I too would decline the offer. I am already starting to feel nostalgic of my time with C as an only child is dwindling. I am also hormonal and think that the weeks leading up to this baby's birth will be so special. I wouldn't want him to not be part of it or be far away where I couldn't get to him if I needed to. 
    Colin Patrick-7/14/08 Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers image image Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Thanks ladies for reassuring me.  I had to send M to my mom/MIL (split time) for 7 weeks last spring because I got deployed for work and it was so hard.  I've since taken a new job where I don't deploy and I feel like DH and I just recently rearranged our entire lives so that our family doesn't have to be separated.  I want her grandparents to get time with her, but I agree with you all that this is such a special time for our little family and I want to make sure she feels secure during this transition.  
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  • The last few days/weeks just the 3 of us were awesome- wouldn't have traded those. If I had it to do over, I would have planned for Gavin to stay w/ our parents longer after I came home. First of all, him coming to hospital was a major fail- he was scared and overwhelmed and cried and I couldn't do anything and I ended up crying and it was a horrible first meeting! He was much better when we got home but then I overdid it and ended up in bed for 2 days. I wished I had just let him stay w/ my parents that whole first week. I think it would have been easier on us all and he wouldn't have known he missed the first few days of us all being together anyway.

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  • I agree with the other ladies.  I could not have my child gone for that long although it is very kind to be offered that.  With my second pregnancy, it was a scheduled c-section and I wanted Ethan there for the birth so my mil met us at the hospital that morning to take Ethan.  He was there for the birth and then stayed with my ils for a couple days and then brought back to us the day we returned home. 
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  • I would not have wanted my child to be away from home in the weeks leading up to the birth, I spent so much time snuggling up on him (them, when it was #3) and just talking to them about what was happening.  They were really a part of it all.  I wanted them home, but it was SUPER nice to have help with them (both before and especially after the delivery).  I would definitely see if they could take her for a week now. 
    Jack 3.5.07 / Ethan 9.17.08 / Lauren 4.3.11 image
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