Would you judge me?

MamatoA2010 · January 2012

So I'm a SAHM and DD goes to daycare 3 days a week. Judgement or no judgement? What say you?

Chelle112 · January 2012

As long as you can afford it, I wouldn't judge you at all. Heck, I'd do the same thing a couple days a week if we could spare the money.

rlyttle · January 2012

Whatever keeps your sanity! I feel like I got to work to get a break

Brags0607 · January 2012

If I had the extra money I might do the same. I would use the free time to get stuff done around the house, get grocery shopping done, etc. If daycare was used because you simply want your child out of the house, then I might have a different opinion. I know DH would expect a spotless house & well-prepared meals if this were our set-up!

klcl8981 · January 2012

No. I kind of want my kids to go at least one day a week but we cant afford it. I need a flipping break sometimes.

MarSamWhitney · January 2012

rlyttle:
Whatever keeps your sanity! I feel like I got to work to get a break

This is me too. I work 3 days, and on the first day I go in I sometimes breathe a sigh of relief. lol Nothing wrong with that!

mistyflame · January 2012

Depends on her schedule, if she only goes for a few hours during the day then no judgement here. But if she's at daycare from 8am to 5pm or later then yes I'd totally judge you. (Which some of the parents of the kids in my class do and it drives me nuts.)

MaxandRuby · January 2012

Uhhhh, no I would not judge you. I'm a SAHM with 2 kids. The older is in daycare FT and the other is in daycare PT. The time they are in daycare together is my "me" time and a time to get a whole bunch of stuff done without having to drag 1 or 2 kids in/out of the car umpteen billion times. I get more stuff done and faster when I do errands without kids.

wife1014 · January 2012

nope, pretty jealous

saraboston · January 2012

I do judge a little. I work FT and can still manage to do all the shopping and cleaning. I've never had so much as a baby sitter. What could you possible need three full days to yourself for that warrants paying someone else to watch your LO? I'd judge less if it were one or two days, but three? Really?

hopecounts · January 2012

Chelle112:
As long as you can afford it, I wouldn't judge you at all. Heck, I'd do the same thing a couple days a week if we could spare the money.

This, it's non of my business as long as your LO is being taken care of.

cg0112358 · January 2012

Brags0607:
If I had the extra money I might do the same. I would use the free time to get stuff done around the house, get grocery shopping done, etc. If daycare was used because you simply want your child out of the house, then I might have a different opinion. I know DH would expect a spotless house & well-prepared meals if this were our set-up!

ditto this, also I would like DS in DC part-time simply for the child-child interaction. DH and I currently work FT so DS is in DC FT as well.

MrsMommyQ · January 2012

Not really. If we had the extra money I'd get a babysitter for DD once a week and just have some free time. IMO 3 days is a lot, but I wouldn't judge you.

I used to live next door to a woman who didn't work and had a full time nanny. The mom was NEVER home. One day (it was spring) she was outside with her kid and I said hello, what are you girls up to today and her response was: babysitting. Huh? When it's YOUR child it's not babysitting, it's called being a mom.

mojito14 · January 2012

I think a child needs interaction with other children, so I would say this is just fine.

NewFamily09 · January 2012

Chelle112:
As long as you can afford it, I wouldn't judge you at all. Heck, I'd do the same thing a couple days a week if we could spare the money.

This. If I had the money, I might be tempted to do it maybe one day a week. If I were really really rich, I would hire a personal nanny to help me with the less fun childcare tasks.

MrsSR · January 2012

To be honest, yes. I do.

You really need 3 days a week without LO?

RobinSparkles214 · January 2012

No judgement from me.

Shell24 · January 2012

No judgement.

RobinSparkles214 · January 2012

saraboston:
I do judge a little. I work FT and can still manage to do all the shopping and cleaning. I've never had so much as a baby sitter. What could you possible need three full days to yourself for that warrants paying someone else to watch your LO? I'd judge less if it were one or two days, but three? Really?

If it allows her to be the best mom/person she can be, why do you care what she does on the days she has to herself? What makes the difference if it's 2 or 3 days?

Would you feel differently if it was for a job? You work FT, you get time to be just you. Most jobs allow you to interact with other adults, to talk about things that interest you besides babies, to do things that you enjoy, but don't have time to do at home (like eat a hot lunch, drink your coffee before it's cold, or wear an outfit that you feel fabulous in). I've been on both sides (SAH and work/FT student), everyone needs time that is for just them.

ARichards0422 · January 2012

No judgement from me. I've stayed home this past year and am now looking for a job. If I could've afforded it I wouldve done it.

pesci12 · January 2012

No, I would totally do it once or twice a week if I could.

Quesera · January 2012

MaxandRuby:
Uhhhh, no I would not judge you. I'm a SAHM with 2 kids. The older is in daycare FT and the other is in daycare PT. The time they are in daycare together is my "me" time and a time to get a whole bunch of stuff done without having to drag 1 or 2 kids in/out of the car umpteen billion times. I get more stuff done and faster when I do errands without kids.

In this case I'm not really sure I would consider you a SAHM. I would consider you unemployed. For the OP, Im not sure 'judge' is really the right word. I don't know what I would do with myself with all that spare time and I think I'd just rather have a job. For your kid though, it seems like the perfect balance of time with you and time with other kids.

chary412 · January 2012

I'm a SAHM and just started LO in a really cool daycare 2x/week. I'm very grateful to be able to afford such a luxury, and I'm excited that LO gets to be exposed to such a different environment. I consider Tuesday/Thursday my "weekend", and use it mostly to get big things done. I hate having to explain it when I meet other moms, because it instantly lays out our financial situation and I feel kind of guilty.

RobinSparkles214 · January 2012

Quesera:
MaxandRuby:
Uhhhh, no I would not judge you. I'm a SAHM with 2 kids. The older is in daycare FT and the other is in daycare PT. The time they are in daycare together is my "me" time and a time to get a whole bunch of stuff done without having to drag 1 or 2 kids in/out of the car umpteen billion times. I get more stuff done and faster when I do errands without kids.
In this case I'm not really sure I would consider you a SAHM. I would consider you unemployed. For the OP, Im not sure 'judge' is really the right word. I don't know what I would do with myself with all that spare time and I think I'd just rather have a job. For your kid though, it seems like the perfect balance of time with you and time with other kids.

Honest question. Do you judge mother's that don't return to the work force after their children reach school-age?

mesmom2011 · January 2012

MrsSR:

To be honest, yes. I do.

You really need 3 days a week without LO?

Since you asked. . . I agree with this. I would LOVE to stay home with my DD. We are fortunate that I have a decent job and my DH is able to stay home with our LO, but if given my choice I would love the chance. Personally, I like the fact that my DD spends almost all of her waking hours with DH and I. I would only put her into daycare if we had no other choice.

ThePolishHammer · January 2012

No judgement.

peakboo5 · January 2012

No judgement here. I wish I could at least have one day a week to myself!

acesup · January 2012

no judgment from me. you get time to do things baby free and she gets the benefits like socialization and play with children her age. i happen to think daycare if important and beneficial. i'm sure people judge me for that.

Quesera · January 2012

RobinSparkles214:
Quesera:
MaxandRuby:
Uhhhh, no I would not judge you. I'm a SAHM with 2 kids. The older is in daycare FT and the other is in daycare PT. The time they are in daycare together is my "me" time and a time to get a whole bunch of stuff done without having to drag 1 or 2 kids in/out of the car umpteen billion times. I get more stuff done and faster when I do errands without kids.
In this case I'm not really sure I would consider you a SAHM. I would consider you unemployed. For the OP, Im not sure 'judge' is really the right word. I don't know what I would do with myself with all that spare time and I think I'd just rather have a job. For your kid though, it seems like the perfect balance of time with you and time with other kids.

Honest question. Do you judge mother's that don't return to the work force after their children reach school-age?

I'm not sure, I really had to think about that. In one sense I do, but like I said, I just don't think that you could be qualified as a SAHM at that point. I'm more 'judging' the issue of what one does with their time, i dont think daycare vs stay at home has any bearing on the quality of a person's parenting.

I am a SAHM and if it were an option I would put G in daycare for two days a week for the socialization but I would have to pay for full time to secure her spot. Financially, we could afford for me to stay at home forever but after my kid is in school, I would personally need something more fulfilling. And, ftr, I'm only discussing this bc it was asked; I'm typically not at all concerned with what people do in their families and I wouldn't give these opinions unsolicited.

LuaBear · January 2012

plenty of people do this, They just call it "preschool". no judgement

catycate · January 2012

I work part time- 2 days a week. The other 3, I am home with DS. My job ends at 3 and I often don't pick him up til 5. It gives me a nice break and I intend to enjoy it while I can- this will not be possible when we have #2.

charlies-angel · January 2012

No I don't judge. Sounds great to me!

lrn327 · January 2012

To me there is a big difference between FT daycare 3 day/week and preschool for a couple hours twice/week. I work 40 hours/week and still manage to run my household with no outside help. We're also there 100% for our child in the mornings, evenings, and weekends b/c he is in someone else's care all week. What do you really need 3 days/week free for unless you're volunteering most of this time?

TBLilyRose · January 2012

How old is your LO?

3 full days (like 9-5) I judge. A few hours 2-3x a week I don't think is bad.

Juli108 · January 2012

lrn327:
To me there is a big difference between FT daycare 3 day/week and preschool for a couple hours twice/week. I work 40 hours/week and still manage to run my household with no outside help. We're also there 100% for our child in the mornings, evenings, and weekends b/c he is in someone else's care all week. What do you really need 3 days/week free for unless you're volunteering most of this time?

This.

sschwege · January 2012

mesmom2011:
MrsSR:

To be honest, yes. I do.

You really need 3 days a week without LO?

Since you asked. . . I agree with this. I would LOVE to stay home with my DD. We are fortunate that I have a decent job and my DH is able to stay home with our LO, but if given my choice I would love the chance. Personally, I like the fact that my DD spends almost all of her waking hours with DH and I. I would only put her into daycare if we had no other choice.

Agreed. I am a SAHM and want DD home with me until she starts school. Do I need a break? Sure, that's what nap time is for!

Celtic Ember · January 2012

I was all set to be judgey about it, but then I realized that I'm doing one up for the next month. We're getting ready to move, and we've already paid for LO's Dayhome to February 15, so DH takes him in the morning. I was let go from my job so I'm using the time to pack and organize, etc... but I probably don't need 5 days a week to do it! If we hadn't already paid for it, he'd be home with me, but since we have... why pull him and confuse him again when we start him back in daycare in a month anyway?

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