So I'm back in my home town after living in NYC for almost two yrs and despite my best efforst I have not been able to re-kindle my friendships, pick up where Ieft off.. I never stoppped speaking to my friends while in NY but now that im back no one seems to ever have time for me. None of my friends have babies yet but I havent changed. I feel that now that im not as easy to hang out with because of my LO Im no longer good enough to hang out with them. As if they think we no longer have anything in coomon..
Have any young first time moms experieced this?? And if so how are you copping?
Re: Fading friendships?? Can anyone relate?
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
yes it happens most of the time.
I would suggest making new mommy friends. Going to play groups or music classes with your little one. Once your child starts doing things...that is where you will meet new friends that do have children your child's age. That is who you will have the most in common with. I have even met women at the park and found friendships. They are going to understand when you are 15 mins late because the baby spit up all over, or that your child's sick so you can't make it.
That doesn't mean you should just dump your other friends...that is unless it is becoming a burden to continue the friendships. you can still do a girls night out once in a while with your friends that have no children,etc.
The first couple of months with a baby is difficult because you are kind of confined to your home. I am not sure how old your child is?
I can relate.... I've had a whirlwind two months. My then-boyfriend came back from europe, proposed the next day and started planning a wedding for may. Even though the wedding was overseas, there were a few friends who have the free time and money to travel (and do it often) who said that other trips were more important than our wedding. We ended up getting married civilly for immigration reasons and we apparently brought a souvenir home from the honeymoon. Since then, the few friends who know have been even more distant. But that's how life is, I guess. It hurts. A lot. But I'm sure that when the baby is born I'll make a new circle of friends who are at the same point in life and they'll become the people I hang out with. I'm not at the same point in life as my old friends were and most of them aren't married with kids yet so we've lost that common bond. But babies bring new friends into your life so just make new friends. If you still want your old friends back, invite them to the shower and try to stay in touch, but just realize that your life circumstances have changed and they'll come around when they catch up to you. If they don't... well... there will be new people in your life to fill the void.
Thanks for the feed back girls...It's nice to know im not the only one. In response to the meetup.com I have signed up and I'm in the process of joining a group I have similar interest with and that live around me.
Have any of you ever confronted your friends on how you were feeling?