is this post-partum depression?

glenrapids · January 2012

i have been so down lately, i can't help but wonder if it's PPD. it is, however, 100% caused by my inability to nurse DD. i have been trying EVERYTHING but due to my low supply, an ineffective latch, and a poor suck, we supplement with the bottle for like 90% of each session. breastfeeding was the #1 thing i was most looking forward to and i even chose to avoid pain-meds in my labor JUST to secure breastfeeding. and to now struggle through this so much just makes me so sad everyday. i am near giving up.

i don't want to see anyone and i don't want to do anything that used to bring me joy. i definitely feel depressed but i'm not sure if this is PPD since it is so situational. i know that should my nursing situation improve, i would be ecstatic and "cured". i'm just wondering, at what point do i need to get meds for this?

beka0404 · January 2012

I think in most situational cases, meds aren't the answer. In my own experience with situational depression - and granted, it was years ago so things may have changed - talking it out was the prescribed course of treatment.

Last week I went to see my OB for the same feelings related to BFing. Because I have SAD and a history of depression, I wanted to get on meds right away if need be. In my case, my OB said she thought talk therapy would be best. She has a 3 yr old and 1 yr old and told me about her own BF challenges and issues which was nice to hear. She also told me that while she's 100% certain that BM is best, she has yet to see a FF mom with PPD. I had mixed emotions when I heard that, but it was sonething to file away in case BFing doesn't work out. I wrote about the whole thing on my blog (not trying to get traffic! Just bumping one handed from my phone) if you want to read the longer version.

beka0404 · January 2012

I can't edit my post but I want to add that it never ever hurts to see someone for a PPD screening. Maybe Talking with your doc might be enough of a release to lift your spirits!

Hugs to you. BFing can be so so so crappy and the guilt that stems from that can be completely debilitating. Ugh.

Rosie24 · January 2012

I really don't know but wanted to share that I did not realize BF would cause such an emotional and physical toll on me either. I am hoping it gets better and that your supply and spirits sky rockets:)

mrsfowler1016 · January 2012

Honestly, I wouldn't classify that as PPD. If BFing started working right now, you wouldn't have these feeling anymore right? However, I understand that one thing upsetting you can lead to more things upsetting you easily and that can stem into PPD. I don't think meds are the answer at all. Therapy may help but I understand it isn't always an option due to expenses.

What have you tried? Have you seen an LLC? Have you tried herbal medicines? Fenugreek, etc. Supplementing is NOT a bad thing! Sometimes BFing just doesn't work out. I understand that it sucks really bad, but you have to remember...your body already did an AMAZING thing! You grew a beautiful and healthy baby for 9 months and got through delivery fine. Don't beat yourself up!

slmayer1981 · January 2012

I'm sorry that you're going through this. You're not alone. I'm also struggling with supply issues and I can def relate. I think part of my problem was that I literally chained myself to either my pump or the baby for several weeks. I never left the house, much less put a shirt on or brush my hair. I felt very guilty for not being able to BF like I had planned. My body had failed me. Even with all my pumping (8x a day) and the supplements, my LO only gets one bottle a day of BM. Finally I went to see another LC who told me that she thought I had Insufficent Glandular Tissue and that my lack of supply was unavoidable. Although that news was depressing, I finally felt like it wasn't my fault. She also referred me to a support group which I've been going to for two weeks now. I feel much better talking to women that are also struggling. Getting out of the house is a bonus too. Another thing that helped me was MH forced me to go and get a mini mommy makeover. It did wonders for my self esteem. Definately talk to your Dr about how you feel and try to get yourself out of the house alone, it may help you to remember your life before BF. Hugs to you! I hope you start to feel better soon!

hayleydeee · January 2012

It sounds like you could be experiencing mild depression, but not necessarily PPD since you seem to know what's causing it.

If you can avoid the meds, I would. They can be great when you have no other option, but can also be hard to wean off of. Also SSRI's can have unpleasant side effects like weight gain and loss of libido. Maybe try cognitive therapy first, or if you can give yourself permission to stop BF'ing. A happy momma is better for the baby in my opinion.

Tussie Mussie · January 2012

I have a history of anxiety/depression and when those feelings started coming back stemming from breastfeeding it really scared me. After many meetings with the LC, trying a nipple shield, etc, I let my feelings out and talked it over with my mom. In the end, the answer for me was to stop trying to breastfeed. With that stress relieved I became much happier, and since I took the time to weigh my options and decide what was best for me I do not feel guilty about the decision.

The important thing is to do what will make you happy!

McSquishy · January 2012

I can relate to all of this. I'm on the phone so don't want to type too much, but you're not alone. My hospital grade pump is due back this week and I'm really struggling.

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