potty training - what's normal?
so we started on our potty training adventure this weekend, and while i think it's going well so far, the more i think about it, the more i feel like i don't really know what to expect or what's "normal." of course i've heard things here and there from other mommy friends and have read up on the whole thing on babycenter.com, but i still feel like i'm a little unsure.
i could write a novel about what we've done so far and how it's going, but in a nutshell, we just switched cold turkey to underwear (no pull-ups) except at nighttime when she's still wearing a diaper. we started on saturday and so far, each day, she's gone pretty long stretches (5-6 hours) with no accidents and consistently peeing in the toilet, but then will have some accidents sporadically throughout the day. yesterday (day 3 of potty training) was the best day (only one accident the entire day from the moment she woke up till she went to sleep), but today (day 4) has been the worst so far besides saturday morning when we first started the process. she pooped in her underwear (which i guess is to be expected...it's the first time she's pooped since we started, so i'm just glad she finally pooped regardless of the fact that she didn't go in the toilet) and has had 3 peeing accidents.
for the record, for the first two days i was home with her all day and then monday and tuesday she's been home with my mother in law. i am contemplating whether i should already send her to school tomorrow to practice staying dry at school or whether i should keep her home until she gets the hang of it better.
anyway, i KNOW she's still really young and i KNOW it's only been a couple of days, so i'm trying not to get frustrated about the accidents. but my concern is that from what i seem to have heard from talking to other parents is that at a certain point, the whole process should just "click" and once that "click" happens (whether it takes 3 days or 4 or 7 days or whatever), the child stops having accidents. i feel like it "clicks" for emma when she feels like letting it click, as she has proven that she can go an entire day with almost no accidents, but then she'll have a day like today where it almost feels like we're back at square one and she's just not interested in even trying to stay dry. the one step forward, two steps back thing is sort of driving me insane.
so - is this normal? should i just expect for it to take several more days before she stops having accidents? or is the fact that she doesn't seem to be consistent about it now mean that maybe i'm doing something wrong? my biggest fear is that i'm doing something wrong that's going to delay the whole thing and take her forever to get fully potty trained. if i knew that this type of progress were normal (where she seems to "get it" one day, and then the next day everything goes out the window), i'd just continue to do what i'm doing and hope that she gets the hang of it with a little more time. but if i'm doing something wrong, i want to know so that i can change my approach as quickly as possible.
Re: potty training - what's normal?
I think that's normal. We tried a few times with Camryn - 18m (way too young), 2 years (she did it maybe four times, but not consistently - but again, I wasn't consistent with her either)....but I knew she just wasn't ready. Now at 2.5 years, I thought she was ready, so we just did it and it has been great! Only 1 accident the very first day and that's it. She's old enough to really "get it".
I think anything with kids will be 2 steps forward, 1 step back, so I'm cautiously waiting for the regression that she may have, and I'm prepared. I have the Summer Infant "piddle pad" in her car seat in case she has an accident there, change of clothes, waterproof bed pad, etc. Someone told me once they are accident free for 1 month, then they are considered potty trained.
I agree with Adri's statement above - it doesn't click within the first few days / tries, then they are jsut not ready. At least it's that way with Camryn. For example, I started solids with Camryn at 4 months - she hated it. After 2-3 days, i stopped, and re-tried at 5 months. Still nothing. Tried at 6 months, and she loved it. With her, it's always been this way - even working our way up to table food - she's jsut very comfortable with routine and doesn't do well when you stray. That's why I haven't put her in a big girl bed yet. Brayden is a little different - he does well with change, always wants something new. Maybe it's because he's #2 and he sees waht she's doing or eating and wants it, who knows. But transitions for him are a little easier.
It seems like she's donig a good job and understanding it. I would continue with exactly what you are doing. If you see major regression, i would just stop and try again in another few months. When I tried with Camryn at 2 years, she did great on days 2 and 3 and then just stopped. Totally regressed, so I knew she wasn't ready!
Camryn Grace ~ July 6th, 2009 ~ 7lbs 9oz, 20.5"
Brayden Richard Drew ~ December 20, 2010~7lbs 9oz, 20"
Camryn Grace ~ July 6th, 2009 ~ 7lbs 9oz, 20.5"
Brayden Richard Drew ~ December 20, 2010~7lbs 9oz, 20"
Alexis was a little older when I PT her, 2 months before her 3rd birthday but I did it during her Xmas break from school. The first week was very hit and miss like you're describing with a lot of back and forth and accidents. But the second week was much better and that's when it clicked with her. I sent her to school in undies and she didn't have any accidents. Poop was a different story. She refused to poop in the potty and I refused to put pampers back on her so she would poop in the undies. This went on for a few months until she really got it completely.
I agree with Erika about consistency!
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BFP #4: 05/23/12, EDD: 01/31/12, Early MC at 5 wks
RPL Workup: + LPD (7DPO Prog = 7.8, Endometrial Bx = out of phase)
Elevated Alpha 2-glycoprotein IgA and antiphosphatidylserine IgM -->
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EDD: 05/23/2013
Thanks so much for all the advice, ladies. Since I last posted, she's been doing really, really well. She's gone to school the last two days diaperless and hasn't had any accidents and hasn't had any accidents at home either. She even pooped twice in the potty on Tuesday night! Anyway, I am relieved that things are going better because I was really, really adamant about not going back to diapers now that we've made the transition. I feel like the hardest part is behind us now and I just want to do everything possible to move forward instead of going back to diapers and then having to start all over again. I fully expect for her to keep having accidents once in a while, but as long as I see progress (which I am), I know we are moving in the right direction and won't have a problem with accidents happening here and there.
Like I said, I know she's still really young. The only reason I'm doing this now is because of baby #2. I felt like if I waited any further along into my pregnancy, not only would I have less energy and patience to deal with it, but it I feel it would also be cutting it too close to when her little brother is going to be born. I know there is always a chance of regression either way when a new sibling arrives, but I figure the chances of her regressing are less if she's had the whole potty training thing down for a solid 5 months or so before he's born, versus just potty training her a month or two before he's born. Then after he's born, god knows how chaotic our lives are going to be and I really didn't know when I would ever have the time or energy or opportunity to focus on her and the potty training like I was able to do this past weekend. I figure it would take at least a few months after the baby is born for things to be calmed or settled enough to start potty training at that point, and then we would already be creeping up towards her 3rd birthday, which I really want her to be fully potty trained before she's 3. Anyway, my point is that I knew I was taking a risk of her being too young for it now, but because of our circumstances with Luca coming in June, I thought it was worth a try. Waiting till she is 2.5 would have been ideal, but wouldn't work for us this time.
She's been doing good the last few days, but she's still not at the point where she'll voluntarily tell us she has to go to the bathroom. Right now it's more of us constantly reminding her and taking her to the bathroom ever so often even if she insists she doesn't have to go. I honestly don't think I'll consider her to be 100% potty trained until she is able to tell us she has to go with enough time to hold it until we get her to the bathroom. But I'm quickly learning that this process is done in baby steps and I can't expect her to be at that point after only a few days. I figure as long as she keeps staying dry for a couple of hours at a time and knows to only release her bladder when she's sitting on the potty, that's a huge step right there. The part of her being able to tell us each and every time she has to go will hopefully come with time.
As for the nighttime thing, I am in nooooooooooo rush to get her potty trained at night. I honestly don't care if she wears pull ups or diapers to bed until she's 4 years old lol. As long as it doesn't interfere with her staying dry during the day, I have no problem with it. She pees a LOT at night and I've noticed that since we've started potty training, her diapers have been less wet than usual in the morning (before, she would wake up and they would be soaked to the brim). So I'm hoping that over the next several months/years, she will naturally start waking up dryer and dryer on her own, and once it gets to the point that I really want her to start staying dry at night, I'm sure there will be ways to achieve that (i.e., limiting liquids close to bed time, etc.).
Anyway, thanks again so much for the support and advice. This has really been one of the hardest things I've done as a parent! It brought me back to the newborn days of unpredictability when they would cry and you had no idea what was bothering them lol. Same clueless, helpless feeling.
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