Community› The Bump Message Boards› 1st Trimester
1st Trimester
New Discussion

His Mom....

rvolkmanrvolkman
in 1st Trimester
So my husband and I decided that we are going to tell my parents next weekend after our first u/s (I'll be about 9-10 weeks). I know that my parents can keep a secret until we decide to tell the rest of my side of the family. The real problem is my husband's mom. Knowing her she can't keep a secret. She's gonna announce it all over Facebook before my husband and I tell the rest of our friends and family. Even if we tell her not too. I feel like she should be the last one to tell because of this. I asked my husband last night when he want to tell her and he knew exactly what I was thinking about how she'll tell everyone. He didn't say anything and just shrugged about it. Thoughts on what we should do?!
Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Report Reply to Post

Re: His Mom....

  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member

    Don't tell her until you're ready for everyone to know.  You KNOW how it's goign to go down.  If your DH pulls the "but if we tell your parents, we have to tell her", tell him that no, you don't!  It's not about playing favorites.  It's about keeping a secret.  If his mom can't do this, then she has to wait. 

    I'm going to tell you now- things can't always be 100% equal or even fair between the grandparents!   My parents are well enough that they can watch DS for us on a regular basis.  My IL's aren't.  We wish they were, and they are sad they can't see DS more.  But I'm not going to NOT use my parents just because we can't use his.

    See what I mean?

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • judahsmommy1judahsmommy1
    I think it depends on how your husband feels about it. He might understand how his mom is and why you want to keep it from her, but that wouldn't necessarily stop him from being disappointed that you were able to share the news with your family first. If this were me, and that's how my DH felt I would just put off telling my family as well until we could share the news with everyone. For me it's not just about what's "fair" but about how I can show my husband that I value his family. Is it a "have to do it this way"? Definitely not, but sometimes those little gestures go a long way and they can come back to benefit you big time in the long run.
    Report Reply
  • Molissa10Molissa10 member

    Once you tell you can't expect them not to tell, but you can request that they don't.  We had our first ultrasound yesterday and ended up telling just about everyone in one day.  It was exhausting, but I'm glad it's over.  We sent a lot of texts and emails with (the below) u/s picture and told our co-workers in person.  I plan to announce on FB as soon as I'm sure we coveredl all the family and close friends.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • julieklujulieklu
    I still don't think our moms sould be on facebook. sigh. I remember the good ol days when it was only college friends and stalking guys you were dating! Now I have to watch what I say because moms and grandmas and grandpas are on there and they read everything! Ugh.
    Report Reply
  • HisWifeJenniHisWifeJenni
    Don't announce it. Both my parents and my in-laws can't wait to be grandparents so they will undoubtedly spread the word everywhere. We aren't telling them for at least another month.
    My blog! Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Report Reply
  • nic27pcnic27pc

    My husband and I were in a similar situation. I knew my parents would be able to keep the secret, but it was my in-laws I was worried about. My MIL shares everything with her family - sister, brother, nieces, etc. When I talked to my husband about it, he insisted they would be able to keep it hush hush for a few weeks.

    We decided it was easier to tell our parents earlier because we were going the route of avoiding them, and that was becoming increasingly difficult. And it was becoming challenging to cover my symptoms when we were with them. We decided to be proactive and tell them, rather than them find out accidentally because I didn't have a glass of wine or something like that.  

     In the end, it is my father that is having the hard time not telling people! He's trying to pressure me to tell more people because he is so excited. As happy as I am that he's happy, I've had to remain stoic and not give in to his pressure. Not an easy thing!

    Wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide. I hope it goes well. You never know, they might surprise you!

    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"