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June 2012 Moms
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MIL confusion

dragossoul84dragossoul84 member
in June 2012 Moms
So my MIL has hated me from day one of dating dh I have no idea why but she has made her feelings crystal clear. Now I'm pregnant and its like we're best friends I thought it was some weird ploy in the beginning but I'm almost starting to think shes sincere. I am she is still being a little creepy like calling our baby little Marky (my husband's name is Mark) even though we have told her the baby's name will be Henry and rubbing my tummy even when you cant feel the baby. But the sudden change to nice from being so hateful has me so confused. I dont know if this is a ploy to mess with me or if she is being genuine. Has anyone gone through this?
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Re: MIL confusion

  • abbyhannah8abbyhannah8 member
    I haven't gone through it but I can tell you if I had I would not let her all of a sudden act nice because she wants to be part of her grandkids life. I think I would take her out to lunch and put everything on the table. Ask her why she made is so clear that she dislikes you and now all of a sudden is being nice because you are pregnant. I can't stand fake people and that would drive me crazy!
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  • AliciaS1411AliciaS1411 member
    My MIL did a complete 180 the day after we got married. It kind of scared me at the time because I had no idea when she would go back to being mean. She flat out didn't approve of me and tried to talk DH out of the wedding the whole time. Then literally the DAY after the wedding, she was so sweet, and has been super nice and great ever since..haha
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  • venussapphirevenussapphire member

    I'm going through this with my SIL right now. She wouldn't even acknowledge me then as soon as we annouced we were having a baby she has been nice to me, asking how I am feeling and asking other questions.

    I don't trust her.

    If the only reason a person changes their attitude towards you is because you are pregnant I would be cautious.

    Audrey is going to be a big sister!

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  • spunkystar01spunkystar01 member

    I am going through the exact same thing at the moment!! 

    I find it to be very confusing...in a way I want to let my guard down, and attempt a decent relationship with her; but at the same time, I feel like it must be a joke and any minute now she is going to change back into the woman she was. lol

    BUT she still gives her snarky comments and opinions to my husband re:baby everything. So I really just don't know haha

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  • dragossoul84dragossoul84 member
    See I am very cautious. She tried to get my husband to get prenup told him he should only have our house in his name, told him not to marry me, and then after we got married she came over to our house and told me I could bleed dh dry but I wouldnt get their money. Now I'm pregnant shes calling me trying to swap stories with me even offered to drive my husband 6 hours to our house (he is visiting and I started getting sick so he if flying home early) If shes willing to be a family I can put the past behind me but I really dont want to  deal with the back and forth
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  • Ingelly47Ingelly47

    I know it may be naive of me to say - but I think some people just genuinly one day try to change how they have been acting.

    I don't think she had any right to treat you that way before, but at least now she is making the effort to be kind and hopefully it will stick so there is little tension when the baby arrives.

    I hope that it is sincere and it all works out for you!

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  • mamameg11mamameg11 member
    I wouldn't say my inlaws hate me, but I know i'm not their favorite. We have little in common and I think they blame me for us living in a different state even though my DH moved here before we even met! Anyhow, for the past year or 2 they have only emailed me when they have a question they know only I can answer and they didn't even say hi to/acknowledge me when we would skype with them. But as soon as they found out I was pregnant again, all of sudden they have interest in me/the pregnancy. Its annoying to me and makes me feel like they think I'm only good for baby making. I am pretty sure they are going to go back to the same behavior after this baby is born. So I have stayed the same in my interactions with them, polite but not going out of my way. I don't trust that they are genuinely interested in me, but I am not picking fights either. I would say you do what makes you happy, maybe not assume the worst, but don't completely open yourself up bc she could end up going back to the same behavior once baby is here. Good luck MIL's are tough!
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  • lpichachlpichach member
    I've heard of this.... reality setting in and people realizing they can't control things out of their hands, and finally accepting it.  I'm thinking your MIL realizes her son is obviously serious about you and maybe smartened up and doesn't want to risk not seeing her grandchild.... i think you have to take it and run with it. Appreciate it hope for the best! 
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  • giggles0918giggles0918 member
    Personally I'd be cautious but I doubt I'd be able to confront her about it.  She might realize that if she doesn't change her ways she will lose her relationship with DH and your future children.  I've never had major problems with my MIL (FIL I really don't know b/c he makes no effort and he and DH really don't have a relationship which is ok with DH).  I'm not who she wanted him to marry but she'll probably hate me when I try to get DH to move about 1,000 miles away from her.
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  • bikernunbikernun
    Having grand babies changes some people. Just enjoy it while it lasts.
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  • lolabunny919lolabunny919 member

    My MIL was a beast to me forever (9 years). Finally, I had it out with her and told her everything I had been holding in. We didn't talk for a few months and then she finally changed her tune. She's been ok ever since. I still don't love her, probably never will, but now we have a much better relationship now that we are honest with each other.

    She has been more "involved" now that she found out we were pregnant, but whatever. I think she knows that if she crosses the line again, I won't hesitate to cut her off.

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