Anyone else NOT finding out gender?

BransonsBecca · January 2012

Is this a thing of the past? I feel like people think I'm crazy when I tell them we want it to be a surprise. We've even had people complain! And it is hard... I'm a control freak so it has been difficult to plan the nursery but I really want this to be the one big surprise we have during our lifetime! My MIL decided to do a shower for all of our bigger items and then my mother will do a shower after the baby comes for more gender-geared items.

I just can't believe that people are a bit miffed that we aren't going to find out. Please tell me I'm not alone!

SHeins · January 2012

I didnt find out for my first two babies and I wont find out this time. As tempting as it gets when I'm in that 20 week ultrasound, I love hearing my husband tell me "Its a boy" (both times before its been a boy....we'll see what happens this time). But it royally ticks off my mother and sister to not know in advance.

I figure, my baby, my rules. If I like it this way, they can deal. And they do...for the most part. There are some days where I think their eyes will roll out of their heads. Devil

kristinkiel21 · January 2012

I don't think we. Are. I really wanted to from the start, and my husband did not. Now, hearing from people who have found out with one and not the other - they HANDS DOWN liked not knowing better if they had to choose. So, I think it will be really neat to have the doc or my husband say "IT'S A !" and us both to be so surprised. I do agree that the 20 week ultrasound will be a little challenge but if I get past that, no problem...

I said the only reason we'd find out is if we could OBVIOUSLY see something (boy) on the screen when they are showing us other parts, then we'd ask. YEY. I am excited for the birth day! I will have two showers too...but they will both be before. Will just register for the items we need - gender neutral (since we want to have more than one)...and then clothes, we can worry about after the baby is born, between my mom and mother-in-law, I am SURE we won't have any issues with clothes

irer · January 2012

We are not finding out until the birth, just like we did for ds. The midwives (doctor didn't make it in time for the birth) told me to lean over (sorry if tmi!) and announce what we had--best moment of my life. To each their own, but I prefer to wait.

abbzy85 · January 2012

I don't plan on finding out. I have twin boys already and I don't think it will help me if I know this one is a boy or girl. If it's a girl, I will probably go wild buying things and if it's a boy, I don't want to be less enthused and not buy things. I'd rather just not know and find out when he/she gets here.

kathyo1982 · January 2012

My DH is finding out -- I'm still on the fence -- I do like the idea of a surprise, but I am also very impatient, and DH doesn't think I can make it until the birth without finding out. Part of me also wants to wait and see if I can figure it out from the u/s without being told. If he tells people, fine -- if I find out because someone slipped...fine. Either way I'm keeping the nursery gender neutral, because we will definitely try for a 2nd, and based on where the rooms in our house are located, I'd like to keep the same room as the nursery for #2 without having to re-do it because this is the opposite gender.

RachMHB · January 2012

We are also planning not to find out... unless, as PP mentioned, it's a boy and he's showing off his goods so much that we can't help but see. But the way I see it, my favorite color is green anyway, so gender neutral clothes will be fine. And the nursery theme wouldn't change no matter what - I want to do an "Under the Sea" theme, and DH is on board.

mswood1977 · January 2012

I am going to find out as soon as I can, the way I see it, it is still a suprise no mater if I find out at 20 weeks or in the delivery room.

I think that it is a decision that every couple needs to make on their own and no one else has the right to judge them or worse get mad at them about their decision.

Ladiebug710 · January 2012

I really dont want to know, but DH really does. I dont care if he knows, but I know that he will tell people and it will get back to me and I will be really upset.

yvdukana · January 2012

We're team green and won't be finding out until the birth. We want more than one child, and as selfish as it seems, it don't want a gender dominated clothes baby shower. Also I tend to spoil most surprises, I even spoiled my own proposal, so this is the one thing I really want to hold off on and be surprised. My dad is ticked because he wants to know, the rest of our family doesn't seem to really care, in fact the ILs are all for team green, they were miffed when BIL and SIL found out the gender ahead of time.

Reilly626 · January 2012

If we were only having one I would have been surprised but with 2 I need to know, too much stuff I need and gender stuff is so prevalent.

yemil359 · January 2012

mswood1977:
I am going to find out as soon as I can, the way I see it, it is still a suprise no mater if I find out at 20 weeks or in the delivery room.

I think that it is a decision that every couple needs to make on their own and no one else has the right to judge them or worse get mad at them about their decision.

IA

sdlaura · January 2012

We won't be finding out. I feel strongly about it, and DH doesn't feel strongly about it, so he's OK with not finding out. I think it will be really fun to get to be surprised and get to tell everyone after the baby arrives. I'm also really practical and would prefer not to receive a ton of pink or blue clothes as gifts, and I also don't like the idea of all pink for a girl and blue for a boy anyway. The room that we plan to use as a nursery is navy blue and it will stay that way even if we have a girl.

Also, not to be a downer (I know nobody really likes to think about this), but we didn't find out with my first pregnancy, and it made it a tiny bit easier when we lost the pregnancy to not personify the baby as much because we didn't know the sex. It is in our file what the sex was, and I think maybe one day when we (hopefully) have a couple of kids, I might like to know, but DH says he never wants to know.

sdlaura · January 2012

Reilly626:
If we were only having one I would have been surprised but with 2 I need to know, too much stuff I need and gender stuff is so prevalent.

When my boss had twins a couple of years ago, the doctor told them that they were the only couple he had met in 20 years of practicing that was having twins and didn't want to know the sex I guess it's less common to wait with twins - maybe because you need to plan more?

babyike · January 2012

We found out with both DD and DS. Since we already have both boy/girl items and this is likely our last baby, we've decided to be team green.

I won't lie... I REALLY want to find out, but I'm going to try like heck to stick to our plan until delivery!

kcrockett1980 · January 2012

you are so not alone!! i love it that we are not finding out, really it has nothing to do with anyone but the 2 of you so don't sweat it!!

sarafb117 · January 2012

yvdukana:
We're team green and won't be finding out until the birth. We want more than one child, and as selfish as it seems, it don't want a gender dominated clothes baby shower. Also I tend to spoil most surprises, I even spoiled my own proposal, so this is the one thing I really want to hold off on and be surprised. My dad is ticked because he wants to know, the rest of our family doesn't seem to really care, in fact the ILs are all for team green, they were miffed when BIL and SIL found out the gender ahead of time.

I totally spoiled my own proposal, too! Yay team green! We are going team yellow haha.

GypsyEsq · January 2012

L12541:
Reilly626:
If we were only having one I would have been surprised but with 2 I need to know, too much stuff I need and gender stuff is so prevalent.

When my boss had twins a couple of years ago, the doctor told them that they were the only couple he had met in 20 years of practicing that was having twins and didn't want to know the sex I guess it's less common to wait with twins - maybe because you need to plan more?

I'm pregnant with triplets and not finding out. I think it's purely personality based. Having done this once before, "planning" really boils down to shopping and name picking. We didn't use any gender specific nursery design and really just didn't buy many newborn/0-3 clothes. When our DD was born almost everyone who visited us brought her clothes which was a wonderful surprise so we still didn't have to run out right away and go shopping. This time I would imagine more of the same. We're planning another gender neutral nursery and will be just fine.

Mrs_Bennett · January 2012

We didn't find out with DS (although we probably will with this one), and people we NASTY about it! It was our baby, and our choice! I got so mad listening to people complain that they "needed" to know so they could shop, etc. We didn't want to know because we wanted everything to be gender-neutral for future babies!

Honestly, you probably won't need a whole shower for gender-specific items after the baby is born. When DS was born, we got a TON of boy stuff from people who visited in the hospital and at home afterwards. IMO, showers after the birth are kind of odd (unless, of course, the mother was on bedrest or the baby was super early or there was some other reason a "pre-baby" shower didn't occur).

bsc01001 · January 2012

I have the same issue to some of you...my DH want's to know and i don't....I'm trying to convince him to hold out!

gordo031 · January 2012

I get so frustrated when people freak out because I tell them I'm not finding out the gender! We want it to be a surprise, and we are Team Green all the way!

lily225 · January 2012

We didn't find out with our first three and I don't think we will this time either. I have toyed with bringing it up with DH only because I think this will be our last and if we found out we could have a massive baby-clothes garage sale this summer and clear out some of the maaaany bins of clothes we have in storage.

But really, when it comes down to it, I doubt I will even bring it up. It seems silly really, knowing how awesome it is to have DH announce what we have after the baby has been born. It's amazing. I know people like to say a surprise is a surprise even at a 20w u/s, but I'm sorry, it is completely different finding out after 9 months and hard work of labor and delivery compared to laying on a table in a dark room and having some stranger tell you after looking at a tv screen. It is absolutely wonderful.

pixieprincss · January 2012

We are undecided but leaning toward not finding out.

PhillyGal34 · January 2012

We aren't and people have been quite vocal about it "messing with their gifts" ummm sorry? They are also mad that we aren't telling names. Tough crap!

mghnmouse · January 2012

We didn't find out with DD and it was awesome! People did get miffed, even random people. Whatever! We will not find out again and I couldn't be happier with the decision Big Smile

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