~Sleep Training Check In~

JKGymnast · January 2012

1) Day number/Start date

2) Length of time crying before LO fell asleep

3) Any wakeups

4) Dreamfeed/regular feeding

5) What you did to stay busy and not cry

6) Any challenges/questions/concerns

7) Progress Update/Successes

JKGymnast · January 2012

1) night 3 (7:15pm-7:30am)

2) 45 minutes

3) @ 5:45 to feed, cried for 5 minutes before falling back to sleep

4) regular feeding

5) Dinner, and I sat and watched the monitor which isn't recommended :-/ (tonight was harder for some reason)

6) Naps - we are doing Sleepeasy for naps too and they are harder... Yesterday she cried for 44 minutes, then took a 2 1/2 hour nap!!!! I had to wake her up bc we had to go somewhere. Then she fell asleep in the car for another 1/2 hour!!

7) We are making progress! I totally am glad we did this; the back pain I've had for months from rocking her is gone and now that she's rested, she is sooo much happier during the day. I love her so much I could just bite her! :-)

Ms5586 · January 2012

Yay Rylee!!

6) Any challenges/questions/concerns

J is still swaddled and uses a bink. He's currently swaddled with one arm out, and only wants his bink when he wakes up (he doesn't wake up because it falls out or anything).

When I start this, should I just not swaddle and not give a bink? We tried that a few nights ago and he was screaming and crying so hard (after 30 minutes, with the check ins) that I picked him up and he still wouldn't stop crying, he was so worked up.

Maybe keep the swaddle, lose the bink?

All the book says is that they recommend the swaddle and bink habit be broken - well, that's not happening yet (at least, not the bink, and that's the one I want gone).

Any insight?

solsburyhill · January 2012

1) Day number/Start date

Day 4

2) Length of time crying before LO fell asleep

0 - he talked for a minute and then was out

3) Any wakeups

Yup, 11:30 per usual. BUT, this time, DH and I layed in bed talking about CIO and how long to give him and were analyzing the type of crying he was doing and before we finished our conversation, he was back to sleep. It lasted maybe 7 minutes?

4) Dreamfeed/regular feeding

Regular feeding at 2am

5) What you did to stay busy and not cry

talked to dh

6) Any challenges/questions/concerns

no

7) Progress Update/Successes

Well, previously we'd been going in at the 11:30 wake up to settle him, turn on his mobile, and let him get himself back to sleep. I was going to do that for a good week or so before fully doing CIO. But last night he got himself back to sleep all on his own w/out us going in. So I guess that's progress!

BonitaKaz · January 2012

Isn't sleep training not really recommended until baby is at least 6 months?

Letting your 4 month old CIO for 45 min? ::sideeye::

MrsDink · January 2012

I'm going to get flamed for this and that's alright... I was directed to this post from another board.

But allowing your child to CIO for 45 minutes is neglect. I don't care who you are or what parenting methods you use. Even if you choose CIO, 10 minutes is the MAX you should allow a baby to cry.

You aren't talking about a toddler throwing a tantrum here, you're talking about tiny babies who are VERY aware of the distance between you and them. They don't cry to act out, they cry because they are scared, alone and do not understand this huge wide world they are becoming so very aware of.

This is a very impressionable age for a baby and while I am not judging the CIO method, I will absolutely judge anyone who lets their child cry for more than 10 minutes. This breaks my heart.

josie12367 · January 2012

I also agree that 45 mins for a 4-5 month old is wayyyy too long. Are you guys doing check ins or just straight CIO? Babies at that age haven't even learned object permanence yet. They don't know that you will return. I think if your baby is crying that long, then maybe they're just not ready for ANY kind of sleep training yet. You should probably revisit the idea in a few months. I rocked my daughter to sleep/nursed her to sleep for the first 9 months of her life and there's been no lasting consequences from it. She sleeps thirteen hours now straight and has since 7 months. Each kiddo is on their own timeline and though i'm not against sleep training, I do think it has it's own time and place.

***On another note, the PP that mentioned swaddle/bink issues.....I swaddled my daughter as well and she naturally broke herself of the habit around 7-8 months. When they get to a point where they are continually breaking out of it within a short timespan, say 20 mins, then it's time to stop. As for the binky question....my DD is 17 mos and still uses it at naps/bedtime unfortunately. I've introduced a security blanket and I hope that she'll stop using a binky around her second birthday.....otherwise, I guess she'll be going to college with it

BonitaKaz · January 2012

EmpireMomof3:
BonitaKaz:
Isn't sleep training not really recommended until baby is at least 6 months?

Letting your 4 month old CIO for 45 min? ::sideeye::
It's not a straight 45min alone. They are checked on and talked to on a scheduled basis.

It is still too young to start this. Any credible literature will state that the CIO method should not be used until a minimum of 6 months of age. If your child is still crying after 45 min, he/she is not ready for it.

josie12367 · January 2012

faupanda:
BonitaKaz:
EmpireMomof3:
BonitaKaz:
Isn't sleep training not really recommended until baby is at least 6 months?

Letting your 4 month old CIO for 45 min? ::sideeye::
It's not a straight 45min alone. They are checked on and talked to on a scheduled basis.
It is still too young to start this. Any credible literature will state that the CIO method should not be used until a minimum of 6 months of age. If your child is still crying after 45 min, he/she is not ready for it.
My pediatrician and the method we are using disagree with you.

I don't typically get into drama on this board....I usually shy away from it. I do have to say that pediatricians are not "know alls" and neither is the one person that created whatever method you are using. I'm sure you've done some research but you have to look at credible sources too....trusted sources like the AAP and such. They all suggest six months over and over and over again....I'd find it odd if my ped suggested anything different.

You are having sleeping difficulties right now due to an new found awareness that your baby is going through. It happens around 4 months....they are more aware of their surroundings, their bodies, and such.....so they obviously start resisting sleep. It's also known as the "four month wakeful" sometimes it happens later, sometimes a little earlier. But it's normal.

A child has to have object permanence for any type of sleep "training" to be successful. They have to understand that you will come back. Other wise your check ins and such are useless and even more upsetting to them because they don't understand why you are disappearing and reappearing. To see if your kiddo is ready....place a toy in front of them to play with.....after they are playing with it and interested.....place a towel over the toy on the floor. If they can reach under the towel or move it to find the toy, then okay, your baby is ready. If they loose interest quickly and look away to find something else then object permanence is not established. You can see a video of this on You Tube.

I do want to tell you that I do not object to sleep training.....but I do think that you ladies are starting WAYY too young. Please do some more googling...go to VALID websites for credible research, or purchase books that come highly recommended from SEVERAL credible people. A board like this is not a good way to do research or choose a parenting style. It's fine for small things like what diapers to buy.....but sleep training is a major thing that shouldn't be taken lightly.

Pantone99 · January 2012

josie12367:
faupanda:
BonitaKaz:
EmpireMomof3:
BonitaKaz:

Isn't sleep training not really recommended until baby is at least 6 months?

Letting your 4 month old CIO for 45 min? ::sideeye::

It's not a straight 45min alone. They are checked on and talked to on a scheduled basis.

It is still too young to start this. Any credible literature will state that the CIO method should not be used until a minimum of 6 months of age. If your child is still crying after 45 min, he/she is not ready for it.

My pediatrician and the method we are using disagree with you.

I don't typically get into drama on this board....I usually shy away from it. I do have to say that pediatricians are not "know alls" and neither is the one person that created whatever method you are using. I'm sure you've done some research but you have to look at credible sources too....trusted sources like the AAP and such. They all suggest six months over and over and over again....I'd find it odd if my ped suggested anything different.

You are having sleeping difficulties right now due to an new found awareness that your baby is going through. It happens around 4 months....they are more aware of their surroundings, their bodies, and such.....so they obviously start resisting sleep. It's also known as the "four month wakeful" sometimes it happens later, sometimes a little earlier. But it's normal.

A child has to have object permanence for any type of sleep "training" to be successful. They have to understand that you will come back. Other wise your check ins and such are useless and even more upsetting to them because they don't understand why you are disappearing and reappearing. To see if your kiddo is ready....place a toy in front of them to play with.....after they are playing with it and interested.....place a towel over the toy on the floor. If they can reach under the towel or move it to find the toy, then okay, your baby is ready. If they loose interest quickly and look away to find something else then object permanence is not established. You can see a video of this on You Tube.

I do want to tell you that I do not object to sleep training.....but I do think that you ladies are starting WAYY too young. Please do some more googling...go to VALID websites for credible research, or purchase books that come highly recommended from SEVERAL credible people. A board like this is not a good way to do research or choose a parenting style. It's fine for small things like what diapers to buy.....but sleep training is a major thing that shouldn't be taken lightly.

Mrs. Dink and Josie- thanks for your opinions. They are noted. Now, (i'm going to speak for myself here because this post really got to me)- please trust me to make the best decisions for my LO. You don't know what research I have or haven't done and I don't have to defend decisions to you or anyone else. If I want to check in with people for support, that's my decision. No one asked you to hijak our thread.

11kacey · January 2012

I went through this too not too long ago and my pedi also said that around 4 months the baby 'should be able to sleep by herself'. Then someone posted this wonderful article to my bmb and I am forever grateful.

https://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/4mo-sleep.html

It talks about how now, especially if you breastfeed, do NOT sleep train. You can do little things like trying not to nurse to sleep and instead, cuddle or let your husband try and put the baby down, but basically your baby is taking in LESS food during the day because they are so distracted by their new surroundings. At night, when it is quiet and just you and the baby they truly ARE hungry and they can eat effectively in a matter of minutes.

This article was truly eye opening for me and it helped me make better decisions. We do our own version of sleep training and started with small changes. It was a rough period (and so is the teething later on) but one they do outgrow. I am sure you probably think that if you don't start sleep training NOW that you will never have a baby that sleeps through the night or maybe you really need more than a few hours of sleep. I feel for you, I do. It is really, really hard. But, my baby is now sleeping about 12 hours a night (most nights) and sleeps better during the day too. I just needed to wait and get her past these first few milestones. FWIW, even though the book I read said she would self soothe at 12 weeks, my baby didn't start self soothing until closer to six months.

sunflwr0911 · January 2012

josie12367:
faupanda:
BonitaKaz:
EmpireMomof3:
BonitaKaz:

Isn't sleep training not really recommended until baby is at least 6 months?

Letting your 4 month old CIO for 45 min? ::sideeye::

It's not a straight 45min alone. They are checked on and talked to on a scheduled basis.

It is still too young to start this. Any credible literature will state that the CIO method should not be used until a minimum of 6 months of age. If your child is still crying after 45 min, he/she is not ready for it.

My pediatrician and the method we are using disagree with you.

I don't typically get into drama on this board....I usually shy away from it. I do have to say that pediatricians are not "know alls" and neither is the one person that created whatever method you are using. I'm sure you've done some research but you have to look at credible sources too....trusted sources like the AAP and such. They all suggest six months over and over and over again....I'd find it odd if my ped suggested anything different.

Umm...I don't usually get into drama on my board either.... Wait, this IS my board, is it yours??

alt0925 · January 2012

"Umm...I don't usually get into drama on my board either.... Wait, this IS my board, is it yours??"

This!!!

Although I'm behind on the sleep training because DD ended up getting a nasty cold, I still plan to. It is our decision to sleep train. This is our board, our children and our lives. You all can hijack our boards and complain about your methods versus ours all you want but it won't change a thing.

For you all to go to a completely different board and moan and complain like little children is ridiculous. I'm sure you probably have faults of your own you can work on instead of trying to work on ours for us.

I'm sure that we can all agree when I say that we generally have the opinion when it comes to family, friends, or In-laws that these are our children and we will make the decisions for them. The same goes for all you hijackers.

Until you become my pedi or better yet, until you become the mother of my child, back off. Nothing you say will change my decisions for my child.

Anyway, shouldn't have something better to do? Like making sure your the perfect mother that's better than everyone else?

alt0925 · January 2012

Oh. I forgot to update on us!

We are waiting a little longer to sleep train because DD isn't feeling well. I am keeping track of the rest of you though and rooting you on from afar!

T&HLove · January 2012

I think it's safe to say that the people on this board sleep training have done the necessary research and talked to their pedis before starting. Also, coming to a post and judging it before knowing what they are saying=stupid. 45min of crying is the total (I believe) meaning they went in and checked on lo, reassured them that they are still here, etc. several times throughout the 45 min. That's just how long it took before they fell asleep.

I, and most people here, agree that the pedi is not the end all be all which is why everyone took what they told them and catered it to their own child. To the pp who said their lo didn't learn to self soothe til 6 mo that's your kid. My dd is starting to suck her thumb at 4 mo. Seriously, you don't know the whole situation. There have been several posts discussing our babies, skeep habits, etc etc that may give you a bigger picture before you start assuming and judging

mshepherd20 · January 2012

In spite of all of the stupid people... here is our check-in for last night!

1) Day number/Start date Date 3

2) Length of time crying before LO fell asleep None

3) Any wakeups for the morning at 6:15

4) Dreamfeed/regular feeding Dreamfeed at 3:00

5) What you did to stay busy and not cry

6) Any challenges/questions/concerns Weaning from middle of the night feeding. Because Jacob's weight is still an issue, I decided not to wean that feeding yet. All in due time.

7) Progress Update/Successes

mshepherd20 · January 2012

Ms5586:

Yay Rylee!!
6) Any challenges/questions/concerns
J is still swaddled and uses a bink. He's currently swaddled with one arm out, and only wants his bink when he wakes up (he doesn't wake up because it falls out or anything).

When I start this, should I just not swaddle and not give a bink? We tried that a few nights ago and he was screaming and crying so hard (after 30 minutes, with the check ins) that I picked him up and he still wouldn't stop crying, he was so worked up.

Maybe keep the swaddle, lose the bink?

All the book says is that they recommend the swaddle and bink habit be broken - well, that's not happening yet (at least, not the bink, and that's the one I want gone).

Any insight?

Our pedi told us to get rid of the paci first so we did before we moved him to his crib. That was an awful night!!

T&HLove · January 2012

south_myst:
You know what...this is MY Board, not that that is such a big deal and you all are being rude to people who were just trying to provide you with additional information. I have read the majority of the posts about your LOs as I lurk mostly, but I cannot stay silent this time. I may be a FTM, but I will not sit by while my DD cries just in an attempt to get a better nights sleep. I know that she won't need me much longer and I plan on making the most of the time that I have with her now. You all seem so eager to have your child grow-up and become more independent, but why not just stop pushing and instead enjoy the time you have with them now. They won't stay babies forever.

Yes, I do have to get up every 1 1/2 hours right now at night for feedings, and I am fine with that. If she wants to only eat at night, I will let her because I know that she is reaching out for some comfort that ONLY I can provide. I just keep reminding myself that I can do this for her and she wants ME no one else. Children would rather play with friends, and teenagers would rather spend time with boyfriends/girlfriends, and adults with their families, BUT for now...she just wants me and I wouldn't trade a minute of that nighttime cuddling for the world.

I think what a lot of you aren't getting is that they aren't doing it just to get some sleep. It's so their lo can get MUCH NEEDED sleep. I think if it were healthier to not sleep, they WOULD sacrifice their own sleep to let lo stay up all night but that isn't the case. Babies need sleep to process all of the information and things they are learning throughout the day. And babies also need mothers who are awake to teach them these things

maplehearts · January 2012

1) 2+ weeks

2) No crying!

3) Not that I heard

4) 2 regular feeds, 5 hours apart

5)Didn't have to do anything last night. I did watch Project Runway though

6) Nope

7) I think we are done "training"! I hope she can keep this up. She has gotten rid of the binky all on her own. We are still in a one arm swaddle but she busted out last night. So I think we are about to wean off of that too.

Ms5586 · January 2012

T&HLove:
south_myst:

You know what...this is MY Board, not that that is such a big deal and you all are being rude to people who were just trying to provide you with additional information. I have read the majority of the posts about your LOs as I lurk mostly, but I cannot stay silent this time. I may be a FTM, but I will not sit by while my DD cries just in an attempt to get a better nights sleep. I know that she won't need me much longer and I plan on making the most of the time that I have with her now. You all seem so eager to have your child grow-up and become more independent, but why not just stop pushing and instead enjoy the time you have with them now. They won't stay babies forever.

Yes, I do have to get up every 1 1/2 hours right now at night for feedings, and I am fine with that. If she wants to only eat at night, I will let her because I know that she is reaching out for some comfort that ONLY I can provide. I just keep reminding myself that I can do this for her and she wants ME no one else. Children would rather play with friends, and teenagers would rather spend time with boyfriends/girlfriends, and adults with their families, BUT for now...she just wants me and I wouldn't trade a minute of that nighttime cuddling for the world.

I think what a lot of you aren't getting is that they aren't doing it just to get some sleep. It's so their lo can get MUCH NEEDED sleep. I think if it were healthier to not sleep, they WOULD sacrifice their own sleep to let lo stay up all night but that isn't the case. Babies need sleep to process all of the information and things they are learning throughout the day. And babies also need mothers who are awake to teach them these things

Exactly. Am I tired? Yes, but that doesn't bother me immensely. Would I do something as selfish as attempt to sleep train too early just so I can sleep? NOT A CHANCE. My LO doesn't need to eat each time he fusses as night.

The reason we are being rude (and we really aren't, we're simply defending ourselves and our friends) is because complete strangers decided to flat-out tell us that what we are doing is wrong. That is rude - you don't see other moms on this board posting on theirs telling them they are doing things wrong, being selfish, essentially harming their trust with their children. They made assumptions that we are doing this out of our own selfishness, and that we have simply decided that we're going to just let our children scream because we said so and some internet strangers said so.

Here's the deal - babies need sleep. Some babies are born and sleep wonderfully. My son does not. I've tried holding him, I've tried feeding him, I've tried rocking him. It doesn't work. He doesn't sleep well. So yeah, I'm going to try anything else I can to help him be a happy and healthy baby.

linzica · January 2012

i let my child cry for hours. and I laugh at him.

vnstacie · January 2012

linzica:
i let my child cry for hours. and I laugh at him.

I love you. You make me laugh out loud!

LadyVi33 · January 2012

vnstacie:
linzica:
i let my child cry for hours. and I laugh at him.
I love you. You make me laugh out loud!

I do this too... While reading "Go The F@&$ To Sleep" outloud to him and my 7 year old niece. ::adjusts her halo::

JKGymnast · January 2012

LadyVi33:
vnstacie:
linzica:
i let my child cry for hours. and I laugh at him.
I love you. You make me laugh out loud!

I do this too... While reading "Go The F@&$ To Sleep" outloud to him and my 7 year old niece. ::adjusts her halo::

Haha... Awesome. Fwiw, I just read a post on 3-6 about girls with 4mo's doing Ferber. I didn't see anyone giving them sh!t!?! Stick an egg in your shoe and beat it! (Said with love.)

SarahSmile23 · January 2012

MrsDink:
I'm going to get flamed for this and that's alright... I was directed to this post from another board.
But allowing your child to CIO for 45 minutes is neglect. I don't care who you are or what parenting methods you use. Even if you choose CIO, 10 minutes is the MAX you should allow a baby to cry.
You aren't talking about a toddler throwing a tantrum here, you're talking about tiny babies who are VERY aware of the distance between you and them. They don't cry to act out, they cry because they are scared, alone and do not understand this huge wide world they are becoming so very aware of.
This is a very impressionable age for a baby and while I am not judging the CIO method, I will absolutely judge anyone who lets their child cry for more than 10 minutes. This breaks my heart.

I love you.

marriedfilingjointly · January 2012

11kacey:
I went through this too not too long ago and my pedi also said that around 4 months the baby 'should be able to sleep by herself'. Then someone posted this wonderful article to my bmb and I am forever grateful.
https://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/4mo-sleep.html
It talks about how now, especially if you breastfeed, do NOT sleep train. You can do little things like trying not to nurse to sleep and instead, cuddle or let your husband try and put the baby down, but basically your baby is taking in LESS food during the day because they are so distracted by their new surroundings. At night, when it is quiet and just you and the baby they truly ARE hungry and they can eat effectively in a matter of minutes.
This article was truly eye opening for me and it helped me make better decisions. We do our own version of sleep training and started with small changes. It was a rough period (and so is the teething later on) but one they do outgrow. I am sure you probably think that if you don't start sleep training NOW that you will never have a baby that sleeps through the night or maybe you really need more than a few hours of sleep. I feel for you, I do. It is really, really hard. But, my baby is now sleeping about 12 hours a night (most nights) and sleeps better during the day too. I just needed to wait and get her past these first few milestones. FWIW, even though the book I read said she would self soothe at 12 weeks, my baby didn't start self soothing until closer to six months.

Great advice, thanks for posting this.

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