- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Working Moms
Christine&Mario
member
Too soon to ditch a daycare after 3 days? (very long, sorry)
Christine&Mario
member
in Working Moms
Hi all,
I haven't posted much on this board, but as a quick intro I have a beautiful 12-week-old daughter, Elena, and I just came back to work for a half week this week. Before she was born, we spent a LOT of time researching daycares - checking inspection reports, visiting, meeting teachers, etc. The place we settled on is blocks away and a beautiful facility with a playground for each age group, splash park, and all kinds of bells and whistles. It's a chain, which I liked because I felt like there would be increased oversight, and the reviews online were generally good.
Wednesday I picked up baby. She was on her back, all alone, screaming. There were at least 4 other babies (out of 6) also crying. The two teachers looked totally overwhelmed. These are the afternoon teachers who I had not yet met (the time I spent hanging out at the day care was only in the morning).
Thursday I drop off baby early; we are the first baby. I talked to the teacher for awhile (the morning teacher who I already know that I like), she calms my nerves and tells me that this happens now and again when all the babies are hungry, or need diapers, or whatever. So I go to work, and leave around 4pm to pick up baby.
When I got to the day care, baby was AGAIN on her back, alone, screaming. Literally every. single. baby. is crying. I go rushing over to baby and pick her up. She is poopie as all get-out. I asked the teacher how long she had been crying, and the teacher told me that she just started crying. How could she know that when everybody is crying? She half-heartedly offered to change her diaper, and by that point I just wanted to get out.
I drove straight to our second-choice home, which is further away from us and about $20/week more expensive - those being the two reasons we went with the other place. They let me peek into the infant room where I saw 6 happy babies and 2 happy teachers. I started to cry. The director gave me a private room to nurse and change baby (who was also hungry!) and after calming down I felt like this might be a better match for us.
She is calling in 2 hours to let me know if she can negotiate a spot at the new place. Should I take it? It will be another registration fee, etc, and further away and more expensive and not as many bells and whistles, but mommy gut is telling me that I can't keep sending DD to her current daycare with the afternoon teachers.
As my statistics-fanatic brother told me, my sample size is very small. I've only picked her up twice. Is that enough information to go and make this drastic change, or should I stick it out awhile and see if it was just some fluke chaos?
If you got this far, thank you thank you for reading this. Any advice or encouragement would be so welcome. I am hoping to be more active on this board, now that I am officially three days in to my "working mom" status 
Mom to E, 11/2011 - Severe egg & dairy allergies, soy intolerance *** Stepmom to G, 2001
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Too soon to ditch a daycare after 3 days? (very long, sorry)
I would talk to the director at DC#1 before pulling the plug.
4/5pm is a tough time in baby land. It's the witching hour and any DC teacher will tell you that when one baby goes off, they all go off. That being said, there is NO REASON why the 2 teachers would be "totally frazzled" with 6 infants. They should be able to handle crying babies with ease. After all, it is what they do, day in and day out.
So chat with the DC director, ask her what her thoughts are on the lack of experience in the infant room in the afternoon. If you aren't happy with her explanation/solution, then by all means change.
4 Fresh IVF cycles + 1 FET where embies didn't survive the thaw = 2 perfect little men!
sFET 11/9/11 - Beta 11/18 BFP!
I always tell moms to go with their gut. If you feel something is wrong then change. This is your child and you do not want to spend your work days worrying about your child.
We actually pulled DS1 from a school that he was at from 3mths old to 7mths old b/c it just wasn't working for me. We went to an inhome daycare which was perfect at the time. We have now moved dS1 back to the first school and it's perfect. DS2 just started at the beginning of the year at 15mths old and it's perfect for him. It was just at the time with DS1 it wasn't right and I went with my gut. I'm totally glad we did move at that time and I'd glad we moved back to the school now.
To me money is no issue when it comes to the care of my child for 9 hours a day. Especially when the differnce is $20 per week and a one time or yearly registratin fee.
My son has been going to FT DC since mid October and only 1x has he been crying when I picked him up. Actually he was not actually crying. He was being held and he looked like he was recently crying. Which the DC worker said he was.
The MAIN reason I picked my DC is b/c I never ever saw crying babies the 3x I visited it. Every other DC was chaso with at least 1-2 screaming babies. I just could not handled that.
The easy thing for me though was the fact they differed in price by only $10-$20 per week give or take. Now if it had been $50 a week differnt it may have been harder for me to make a choice.
I agree with this. I've been in the DC and watched as one kid started crying and then that made my LO cry. They feed off of each other sometimes. I'd talk to the director and give it a few more days. Then go with whatever makes you the most comfortable. Remember you are still very emotional right now and going back to work and leaving LO is really tough. hang in there
You have to do what you feel will be the best for you and your DD.
BUT- no matter what you do, still go and talk to the director. Was it an odd occurence those 2 days, or are those teachers not up to the task, or... what's going on?
AND for the sake of the other parents/babies - let the director know so that if there is a real problem, they can do something about it! Taking your baby and leaving w/o telling them why doesn't give them a chance to correct the problem.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Go with your gut -- you know what's right.
I actually changed my DD's daycare 2 days before she was supposed to start, if that makes you feel better
. The center she was going to go to was freaking out that she wouldn't take a bottle. Believe me, I'd tried everything and was so upset and worried that she'd be starving. Then I had the center director calling me repeatedly, asking if I'd "straightened that out yet" and "what do you want us to do when she won't eat?"
I went to another center who we'd written off as being too expensive and they really set my mind at ease. Their whole attitude was so much better, very understanding and sympathetic, and had experience working with BF babies.
I lost our deposit and first month's tuition, then had to pay another deposit for the new place when I switched. And the 2nd daycare is $400 more per month. Every now and then I add up how much more we've been spending for daycare #2 and it doesn't bother me too much. I know the 1st place wasn't right for her.
This is tough one. A part of me says it's only been two days, and agree that the last few hours of the day are rough. Parents going in and out, witching hour, one baby goes off, the rest follow.
However, I walk into my daycare every day, with the infant room right up front off of the lobby, and rarely ever hear the babies crying.
Also, when my DS turned about a year old, my gut told me for months to switch daycares and I kept telling myself it will get better give it time. I gave it 4 months and it got worse. We switched daycares and I really kick myself for not doing it sooner.
Sorry, probably not very helpful. GL with your decision.
I agree with the PPs - go with your gut and do what you think is right for your LO. We've been given this awesome mommy intuition, so rely on it to guide you in the right direction.
My LO is in a home daycare, and he's happily playing every time I pick him up. It makes me feel so much better about returning to work, I don't worry about him at all during the day because I know he's in good hands.
The first week was the hardest. Both you and the baby are making huge adjustments.
Do they provide you with a sheet that tells you when she was fed, how much she ate, when she was changed, when she took naps and for how long?
Have you checked the daycare for any negitive reports against them?
Have you verified the child to teacher allowed per room? In my state it's 1 teacher/4 babies. If they are overwhelmed then maybe you could talk to the center director.
If you like the new place than switch if you are more comfortable. It's whatever makes you comfortable.
PS I hate my daycare and I'm switching in 3 weeks! yay!
Thank you, ladies, for all of the insight and input - I really appreciate it. Never having done this, I wasn't sure if the whole crying room full of infants is fairly normal or not, and the general sense that I'm getting from you ladies is that it isn't so normal. I'm going to try to keep the fluke possibility in mind and definitely talk to the director today, but I have a feeling that if she is crying today when I get her and there is a spot open for us at the other place that I won't be able to help myself from yanking her out now. It's just too heartbreaking for me to be sitting at my desk wondering if she is sad/hungry/lonely, and it's already starting to turn me into a crappy employee.
Manatee, they do send the sheets home; they checked off that her mood was "happy" yesterday, so off the bat I'm a little suspicious. But they did have her down as taking three short naps (45 min approx each), eating and getting changed regularly. At the 4:30 time that I came, she was about two hours out from her last reported diaper change and bottle. None of the ratios are being violated; I'm just not convinced that those two ladies can handle four babies apiece. As far as inspections and reported incidents, the reports I found on the state web site were all related to the older children.
Sigh.. I knew going back to work would be difficult, but more from a separation standpoint. I didn't think I was going to be worrying about LO's well-being, and that is turning out to be the hardest part.
As PP said, trust your instinct! If you're not comfortable with the dc LO's in you will not be happy! It doesn't matter if it's just a rare occurrence (although 2 days in a row seems like it's not!).
We switched DD after a week in one dc after just several little things bugged me. Mostly just a gut feeling though. I didn't have a second option (since my first option was not where she was due to a waiting list, so where she was was actually the second option) until I hated the first and went hunting. I found a dc in 1 day and switched. I love it now and am amazed at how happy I am finally, and this made me realize how miserable I was with DD in the other dc.
Do what you think is best! I thought I wouldn't care if DD was in a mediocre dc because she was so little...but I was wrong. A good dc that you're comfortable with makes a huge difference!
There have been days where I picked up DS and thought "OMG - this place is crazy" when all of the babies were crying. It didn't happen very often, but it did happen from time to time. After seeing a hectic scene, it's easy to wonder "is every minute of every day like this??? is my kid laying there crying all day long???" Most likely it's not like that all the time, and every daycare (even the best) have moments like that. It should be a rare occurrance and hopefully the director will reassure you and tell you just that.
Def. talk to the director and see what he/she says, and how she handles it!
With that said, you know best...if your gut is telling you this isn't right, then go to the other place.
We picked a daycare $500 more a month and 45 minutes from my house and job (but on the university campus where DH works) because it was "the one".
I think of what I could do with $6000 a year and how inconvienient it is when I have to do drop off or pickup but ultimately I 100000% love love love them and would pay more and drive farther for that peace of mind. Are they perfect? No. But they are perfect for my girls.
I would not make any drastic changes just for a crying baby (or babies) if i had not talked to the director, etc. It seems a bit drastic. Babies cry - esp at the end of the day - it's a "witching hour" for many babies- mine included.... they still are extra whiney at that time of the day.
but i also wouldn't pick a daycare b/c of cost. If I liked a daycare more that was more $$$, as long as I could afford it - i'd go with the one I liked the best- b/c at the end of the day - you have to be comfortable leaving your child somewhere every day and not worry about them.
but again- a couple days of crying babies at the end of the day - without actually talking about it with a director = silly to pull your child if you like everything else about the daycare.
Click here for my blog!
There were times when Liam was in the infant room where I would walk in and things would be chaotic but the teachers in his room always seemed calm and in control and attended to each baby in a reasonable amount of time, even if that meant bouncing a bouncer with their foot, holding a baby, and spoon feeding another all at the same time! They were always trying their best to give the babies what they needed and never seemed overwhelmed. If the afternoon teachers don't seem in control of the situation then I would go with your gut. You need to do what makes you most comfortable. But, realize that there are going to be days in the new room where you will walk in and it will seem like all he** is breaking loose. You just have to make sure that it's not every day.
I was worried about lo for the first few weeks and didn't know if I made the right decision. Give it some time.
I go to see her at random times and sometimes one baby will set off the other babies or the timing is just off. In this case the director or assistant director will take a baby. The teachers are always respectful and nice to the kids even if they can't get them at that time.