Talk to me about "step up" parenting plans... — The Bump
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Talk to me about "step up" parenting plans...

I think someone on here has a step up plan, meaning to step up to the next phase (more visitation) the other party has to complete the first phase.  I think that's what I'm talking about...

 Anyway, our current order is twice during the workweek and every Saturday from 9-5.  Ex typically takes 1 during the week and every Saturday (but has missed a few here and there).  I don't want him to have more time since he can't even make the time he has been given now.  I want him to not miss a visit for 6 months before he can move on to the next phase.  The next phase would be something like twice during the workweek and Saturday overnight.

 How do I go about wording this?  How do I make it appealing to the ex so he will agree to it? FYI, the child is 1.

 I usually just lurk on this board, but you ladies always have wonderful advice :)

Thanks!

Re: Talk to me about "step up" parenting plans...

  •  

    I have a step-up plan. My EX lives out of state and even when he was here he didn?t see Wyatt much. Since he has moved, he see?s him less and less. He wanted overnight visitation off the bat and I said absoultley not.  I explained to him, his lawyer and our mediator that it was not fair to send a 2 year old off with a man he barley knows and that until a bond was made that I would prefer a step-up program which my lawyer suggested to me. This is what I offered.

     

    Starting in October ex would come pick Wy up at 9am and return at 6pm on 2 consecutive days on the weekened. I offered him Friday/Saturday, Saturday/Sunday, or Sunday/Monday. I picked those days because he was unemployeed I didn?t want him using his ?fixed? visitation as an excuse to not finding a job.

    If he completed this schedule  EOW for 3 months starting in January he was  able to pick Wy up on 9am Saturdayand return him 6pm on Sunday 2weekends a month. If he did this EOW for 3 months then starting in March he would get him EOW from Friday 6pm to Sunday 6pm.

     

    He never finished the 1st step so until he does 3 months consecutive he will not get any overnights. He is supposed to give me 15 days notice of his visits. Since this was a temporary order we left out holidays, ect and will cover that in our final. I didn?t put a stipulation if he was late, which I will def do in our final. If you have any questions feel free to PM me 

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  • Thanks JC - sent you a PM :)
  • I tried to respond but it says "user not found". I'll try when i get home from work :)
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  • That's weird.  I hope it will work when you are home :)
  • We have a graduated plan also...it started with 4 hours every Sunday for a month, then 8 hours every Sunday for a month, then 1 overnight for a total visit of 24 hours once per week and now it's 2 overnights every other week. It's supposed to be weekends but I was letting Ex take DD on Monday/Tuesday or Tuesday/Wednesday. Now that he quit his job I'm making him take her for the weekend Friday night-Sunday night so I can spend the weekend with SO child free. (I'm super excited lol)
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  • We will be doing this. However it's going to start with him doing anger management and parenting classes, then 8 weeks of supervised visits in a visitation center. If that goes well we'll work up to overnights, but it's going to be a while.
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  • image DHYGchica3:
    We will be doing this. However it's going to start with him doing anger management and parenting classes, then 8 weeks of supervised visits in a visitation center. If that goes well we'll work up to overnights, but it's going to be a while.

    Did you take parenting classes? If you're requesting something like that you'll need to take them too more than likely. 

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