New to The Bump
Getting sick of waiting...
...my husband and I have been together for 5 years married for 3. This past October he told me to stop taking BC so I did. He kept saying "we'll start trying after the beginning of the year" and I know it's only the middle of January but he has not mentioned it all. He claims we aren't financially ready but who is. Sometimes he says if it happens it happens but I'm pretty sure "pulling out" makes that a little difficult. I feel like its excuse after excuse. Why can't he be honest with me and say he's not ready. It hurts me more that he avoids the conversations and gives me false hope. I don't even bring it up anymore. At 32 years old I don't want to keep waiting. And of course all the family and friends asking and women around me getting pregnant doesn't make it any easier. He has a great paying job and I have an ok paying job we have my MIL volunteering her babysitting services for free we've gone on two vacations a year since we've been together. I guess I'm supposed to just sit around and wait to hear those words "let's start trying" or just wait for the day he decides not to "pull out"
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Re: Getting sick of waiting...
Red flags galore
He told you to stop taking BC? Did you have a say in this at all?
He told you when you'd start trying? Did you have a say in *this* at all?
You're 32 years old. Have a conversation with the man, and stop waiting around for some magic signal to occur. Tell him you're ready, and you want to know why he seems to have changed his mind. If finances are an issue, find out why. Make a plan for when you will be financially ready, or sit down with the numbers and see what you realisticaly think costs will be. If it's something other than finances, have the conversation.
I would agree with Dr. Loretta, you need to sit down and have a talk with your guy. Having a baby is not a passive thing.
I would suggest that you think about what you need to do to emotionally and physically to prepare yourself to have a baby. Read up on ways to optimize baby making and pregnancy. Once you feel confident, set aside some time that both you and your husband are free. Talk about each of your concerns, what you want, what he wants, and what both of you will do to make baby happen. Set a budget to deal with financial concerns. Take advantage of your family, friends, and co-workers who are having babies for clothing, toys, cribs, gates, breast pumps, etc...
Making baby and having child care is great, but be sure to set parameters around both, so they don't take over your life. It is wonderful that your MIL has offered her help, but make sure you understand what she thinks is child care, especially regarding crying, discipline, and feeding, just because they helped raised your hubbie, doesn't mean they will work for you.
It would be easier to set up a system of communication for your concerns now, before your hormones start hijacking your body.