DH just doesn't understand

MBJune · January 2012

I went for lunch with a friend yesterday, and knowing that they were trying for baby #2, I was expecting the news that she was pregnant. She knows what we have been going through the last year or so and she just seemed clueless to how much it hurt to hear it. I am really happy for her and her DH, they are one of closest couple friends but it still sucked to hear. This was the first time I have cried about a pregnancy announcement.

When DH got home from work last night, I told him how I felt about my friends pregnancy. All he did was look at me and say so what? It's not my fault she is pregnant. At that point I tried to calming tell him how it felt, but I still couldn't believe he said that! It is all worked out now, but I really don't think he understands how I felt.

Rant over!

kay1983 · January 2012

Arg- that sounds frustrating. I would feel the same way if DH had said something like that. When I found out my best friend was pregnant (she didn't tell me for 1 month as she didn't know how she says) i had a good looooong cry. I was happy for her. Sad for me. That is how I explained it to everyone, including her. I think I just lucked out that people around me seemed to understand that. I hope you have another friend, family member, someone, who understands how you feel. If not, for one, I definately DO!

dimples128 · January 2012

Men rarely understand how we feel. We are much more emotional about things like this than they are. This just how we are wired. We have found out within the past 2 days there are 4 couples we know who are expecting. It's heartbreaking, frustrating, and it leads us to ask "Why can't I be the one?" IF also leads us to be more sensitive about things so just take it one day at a time and if you need to vent, the boards are great. Good luck!

ILoveRedVino · January 2012

My DH doesn't understand either. He thinks I throw pity-parties.

However, my mom (who is obviously female) is the same way. She tells me to just deal with it. I kind of think that unless someone has dealt with IF, they just can't even conceive (no pun intented) of the emotions behind it.

Mnerani · January 2012

To be honest, I still don't understand why I have mixed reactions when my friends tell me they are pregnant (I have four very close friends and a sister who are pregnant at the moment). I'm not sure I would expect DH to understand when I still haven't figured it out. I mean, it makes sense- I'm happy for them and sad for me- but can't I get a little sad later, and not in the exact moment that they make the announcement? I never show it, but I feel it and it makes me feel selfish. As for DH, all these announcements just make him more excited. I need to pick his brain about his reaction so I can have an "enlightened" point of view (how often do we use that adjective to describe a man's perspective?

)

OnTheLanai · January 2012

It took awhile for me and my husband to get on the same page when it came to other people's announcements. We have had at least 50 pregnancy announcements (some are the same person! 2 pregnancies in our time of TTC), so I think now he is a bit more frustrated than he used to be.

At the beginning of our IF struggle, he was just like that. I hope your husband learns to not dismiss YOUR feelings in the matter though.

MBJune · January 2012

Thanks ladies! There is no one IRL that I know that has had any IF troubles. I have just chalked his reaction up to being male and not really understanding exactly how I would feel when it comes to all things IF.

I don't really know why this announcement bothered me so much, my sister is pregnant and I am over the moon happy to have another nephew, but when it comes to my friend, I am feeling a little jealous.

pulga131 · January 2012

Men don't get it. I just went crying to MH about AF being on the way and he said "did you really expect to get pregnant? you've gotta face reality hun you're probably not gonna get pregnant". I know he was trying to cheer me up but dang that stung!

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