Did you try mediation before a judge? — The Bump
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Did you try mediation before a judge?

My attorney told me that it wasn't worth it to try mediation.  I am wondering if he is right or not.  He said that custody battles with out divorce (i was engaged) are usually too emotional and don't typically get resolved in mediation.

Right now my ex gets every Weds. and EOW.  I rarely talk to him but when I do he makes sure to complain that he isn't getting enough time.  My attorney is convinced that a judge will not give him more time (my son is only 2) because he is already getting what is standard visitation.

I am just so afraid to go to court.  It just seems so risky to let a stranger decide how much time I get with my son.

Re: Did you try mediation before a judge?

  • I was required to go to mediation.  Since 07 when we split, I believe we actually agreed in mediation twice.  I have been at least a dozen times.  If you are willing to give Ex more time then go, but if you don't want to change your current schedule I don't really see the point.
  • We did. We don't get along. At all. BUT we were able to be adults and sit down and come to somewhat of an agreement. 

    It's an opportunity to come together without a judge dictating. A mediator will help you both come to an agreement. My ex started to leave when I said no way to a name change and the mediator told him to sit back down that there was more important things to discuss.

    I am a big believer in the process. Don't be afraid and even tho it's hard, take your emotion out of it.


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  • My lawyer told me I will probably end up having court ordered mediation (not a problem to me... won't cost me anything). She told me that usually most issues get resolved in mediation.

  • Yes, we were required to go to mediation prior to a hearing.  Most of it was spent in separate rooms because the tension was too much.  The mediator went back and forth and we reached an agreement. 

    Even if you reach an agreement, your X will still whine that he doesn't get enough time regardless of what you 'agree' to in mediation.

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  • I completely disagree with the comment of "because custody battles without divorce are more emotional" and would love to know where your atty got their basis for that logic.
    You do realize that trial = $$$$$, right? Go to mediation first.



  • I do wonder about your attorneys motives here.  It wouldnt hurt to try mediation first. For one reason it is much cheaper than a trial.  Your attorney wants to go straight to trial so he can make more $ off you, maybe (?)

    Mediation didnt work for us...  but it was worth a shot :)

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