My affectionate toddler isn't really affectionate to me or DH - small pitty party

SigmundsGirl · January 2012

DS has never really been a snuggler (unless he is sleepy or sick), but he is super sweet. Recently he has been showing more affection to his lovies and was kissing all of the animals in one of his books. This morning he ran to give his teacher a hug.

DH and I can get quick hugs and maybe a kiss every once and a while, but we usually get a "no, mommy!" or "no, daddy!" when we ask for a hug.

I know this is normal toddler stuff and that he is showing his independance, but sometimes I wish he was as sweet to us as he is to other people or things. I guess I should just focus on the fact that he is becoming more affectionate and appreciate the hugs and kisses when I get them.

Oh, and we alwyas encourage him when he is affectionate to his lovies but we also tell him he doesn't have to hug or kiss anyone if he doesn't want to. I want him to be confident and know he decideds who he shows affection to. DH does forget this soemtimes when he is pushing DS to hug or kisses Nana and Poppy or an aunt or uncle, but DS is like me and won't do it if he doesn't want to.

CareBear01 · January 2012

Sometimes if DS says "no" when I ask to give me hugs/kisses for leaving for work or going to bed, I don't make a big deal, and say "ok". Then DH will say "ok, I'm going to give mommy kisses, though", and then when he gives me a kiss, DS usually (screams) "my turn!" and then he wants to do it, too. So, do something like that, where you two are showing affection, and he may want to share in it too to be included. Then I "overly" thank him for being so sweet afterwards, to encourage it more!

At one time, I did act sad if he said "no", (pretend cry until he would eventually do it), but then I reazlied I didn't want him to start doing it b/c of pity for me - I wanted him to voluntarily do it (b/c HE wanted to, not b/c I wanted it). So, then it kind of naturally fell into place where we realized when DH and I were affectionate with each other, DS didn't want to be left out. It's a much more positive experience. :-)

I love hugs and kisses from my kiddos - they are my favorite. :-)

SigmundsGirl · January 2012

Thanks, Carebear! I got a kiss before he ran off for school today!

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My affectionate toddler isn't really affectionate to me or DH - small pitty party

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