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November 2011 Moms
JKTTC1
member
Daycare Dilema...WWYD? Please help!!
JKTTC1
member
Warning: Long story but I really need some advice and encouragement!
Background: DH is an nurse and works 3-12 hours. Some weeks he works 2 days a week if he has to work the weekend and some weeks he works 3 days. He has recently interviewed for a position that would put him working 8-5 Mon-Thursday, no weekends or holidays. I am a teacher and will be returning to work on Feb. 6. I have one more week at home. DH and I were looking for childcare starting the week of Feb. 13 since my mom (one day) and SIL (one day) will keep him the 2 days that DH has to work the first week I go back.
I am at a loss of where to send LO for childcare. We originally chose "another" church daycare because it was $100/week and I wouldn't have to pay the summer to hold his spot since I'm a teacher and I would be out. This was out cheapest option and we would start him at "our church" in Aug when I return for the next school year. However, after two failed visits to this "other church" daycare, I've pulled this option for LO. The supervisor was never there and noone would answer questions about feedings, etc.
So immediately I started looking into my next options. Here they are:
1. In home daycare lady-She is in her early 40's. She currently keeps 4 other teacher kids that I know. They range from ages 8months-4 years. She has been doing this for a long time. The other mothers having nothing but good things to say about her. Pros-She could keep my BM in the freezer and prepare bottles as needed, provide "motherly" care for LO, plus I wouldn't have to pay the summer to hold his spot AND we can pay per day while DH keeps LO on his days off. So LO could go part time to her and be about $25-$30 per day. So at most we would pay $90 a week, however is DH gets the other job, I could need childcare for 4 days and then its more. Cons-The "older" kids (2 and up) were sleeping on cots, etc. in her bedrooms. The 4 year old was taking a nap on the couch. The 8 month old takes naps in the swings. I am really worried about LO being put in a pack n play in a bedroom with no monitor and being checked on occasionally.LO has reflux and currently sleeps with me in the bed or in the swing so I know she will have a hard time if she attempts to put him in a pack n play to sleep. I do feel confident if I told her he didn't need to sleep anywhere he wasn't insight then she would do that.But it just seems a lot to have 5 kids with one person and G being the youngest there. I worry about older kids trying to pick him up or something else. Of course, my mom throws out the "what if there is a fire and she has to get them out by herself" and other situations like that!
2. "Our church"-Our church is about $115 per week. I would have to pay the summer which would be about 8 weeks I would have to pay for and him not be there. There are about 6-7 babies per 2 people. The daycare is terrific. The ladies that would be keeping him, kept my younger sister at this same daycare 20 years ago. They are looking forward to LO coming. Pros-excellent care, I wouldn't have to worry "as much." Cons-Can't keep BM in freezer, fix bottles, and the cost! Oh, my dad works just across the street and will check on LO. Also my mom said she would be coming to see LO at the church since its downtown at her lunch hour. I guess the $900 seems like a lot to throw down the toilet but its like paying $900 for piece of mind. But if SH got this new job, this is the ideal place for LO!
3. SIL-DH's sister stays at home with her youngest little girl. She turned 4 yesterday. Her oldest two girls are in school. They moved last year. They used to live 5 min from us and on my way to work. It would've been perfect. Now they moved 17 miles across town. I would have to drive to meet her in the morning, then drive back 11 miles to my work. I have to be at work by 7:10am. She said her DH can take the 2 to school and she could meet me part way. Pros-family keeping LO, good care, we would pay her but it wouldn't be as much since she'd do it for free! Cons-I worry about my niece there. I worry she will try to carry him up or down their stairs, they don't have adequate water "well issues" so if LO was ever FF I would make sure they didn't use their water...long story!!! Then their car is filthy. I'm not a clean freak but I want LO in a clean environment to stay well!
With all this said, what in the world would you do? The post that the other mom posted about crying when thinking about sending LO to childcare got me all upset again today. I was sobbing holding LO earlier and just hate the thought of calling daycare today to tell them we will come next week to do a trial run!
#2-BO 6/6/13 D/C #3 natural m/c 8/6/13
#4 EDD 5/19/14 It's a boy!
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Re: Daycare Dilema...WWYD? Please help!!
I would personally go with option 3. It saves you money, and she is family. The drive is a pain, but the water/dirty car issues are really small things. You can always provide bottled water, and a dirty car is really not going to hurt anything. Also, I should think that your sister in law should be able to prevent her little one from carrying the baby around the house.
It also seems like since it would just be her LO and your baby during the day. It might also be the best way for your LO to get one on one time, and for her to be able to accommodate your needs regarding breast milk, particular sleeping arrangements and such. It is also the option with the lowest ratio of children to adult caregivers. That would give me peace of mind that things would not slip through the cracks.
Thanks...what would I do about the issue that she has no baby gear?
No swing, high chair, bouncy seat, sleep place, etc.
If that is the option you feel most comfortable with, I would say to buy a couple things to keep at her house. You are saving a ton of money by not having to pay her a small fortune, so it would be a small investment to make.
I know it's a pain, but if you use a PnP at home, you can always pack it up in the morning and send it along with the baby, and bring it back home at night.
I would also probably go with option 3. It seems like that option would get your LO the most one-on-one time with somebody during the day. I would also like the idea of LO growing up with a cousin as a friend. And with as expensive as childcare can get, I think its only a bonus that family would be willing to watch him for next to nothing.
As for baby equipment, maybe you could look for something on craigslist (if you don't mind used)? Or, since you'd be saving money on the actual childcare costs, maybe you could spend some of that money on some equipment for her house?
It sounds like you already have your minds made up as to where you want LO to be. If it's that important that LO goes to your church, you'll just have to suck up the cost.
Personally, I wouldn't dream of using family. Like Kclear said, things can get wierd and can ruin your relationship. Myself, I would go with option 1. Sounds cheaper, the lady has done it forever and not alot of kids go there. Plus, you're not paying for weeks that your LO won't be there. But thats just me.
I'd go with option 1, but I love our inhome daycare. DD1 was a tummy sleeper, so we bought an extra angelcare monitor and sent it to daycare for her to use.
If not 1, I would do 2. I know hat you really want to spend every moment with your lo, come summer if might be nice for you to have the ability to take your lo to daycare one day a week or a few half days. You can have you time and get things done and your lo can play with his buddies.
Posting from an Android sorry for any errors
I was going to make exactly this point about being able to occasionally use the daycare during the summer. It would be awesome to have a day to run errands or to be able to spend a couple of days really cleaning the house! I am a teacher and wish I had that daycare option.
It's kind of interesting how varied the responses are to this post. Personally, I'd go with #2. I don't really like the in-home daycare option in general. I don't like that there's a single point of failure and I have no idea how 1 person could effectively watch so many kids that are different ages with different needs. Seems like their attention would be so divided.
The family option seems ok to me. We actually had MIL watch DS a couple days a week for a while. But, there is no way I would drive that far out of my way to do it.
~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~
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Shawn and Larissa
LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
LO #2 - TTC 7 months, surprise spontaneous BFP!