Anonymous Regular

atlantic · January 2012

Hey there, I may have missed an update but just wanted to you to know that you've been in my thoughts and I hope you are doing okay.

ec3under4 · January 2012

atlantic:
Hey there, I may have missed an update but just wanted to you to know that you've been in my thoughts and I hope you are doing okay.

ditto

Nessia · January 2012

I was just going to ask myself. Hope everything is going well.

austxgrl · January 2012

You have been in my thoughts and prayers as well. Hugs.

Xtina712 · January 2012

Ditto. I hope things are ok.

AnonymousRegular · January 2012

Embarrassed Y'all are so sweet. Not much has changed, and I can't remember what I've posted here, so this may be a repeat....

I am living in the house, but moved into the other bedroom. All our accounts and money has been seperated. He's agreed to not be in the house or around the baby or myself at all if he's been drinking.

He, predictably, pulled the tears and, "I'm so sorry, please don't divorce me, please don't take my baby away" routine. Clearly, I've heard that before.

I don't want to divorce him. When we're happy, we're very happy. We just haven't been for a year now. I told someone recently that there needs to be a defineing moment. Either he seeks help, or something bad is going to happen that will force me to divorce him. I'm still slowly preparing our house and our life for a divorce, because I feel it's inevitable, but I can't quit hoping things will go back to the way they were.

And the timing of all this ... today is our anniversary. While we haven't really seen each other since that night (was that just a week ago?), I've agreed to go to dinner with him tonight. He's been making a clear effort around the house and with the baby, and I guess this is his effort with me. It's SO hard to plan to leave when he's acting so nice. But after all this time, I know it's just a matter of time before there's another "incident" that ruins something else.

Anywho ... thanks for thinking of us, it really means a lot. I'm not kidding in the least when I say y'alls words of support and encouragement have helped so much. I'm surprisingly okay with everything. I've realized whatever happens is what has to happen. No matter what comes to pass, I'll be happy and my baby will be happy.

P.S. Don't watch Mad Men during a potential divorce. It's ugly.

AustinBride06 · January 2012

I'm glad you updated. I know we've all had you in our minds. It sounds like you're in a good place for now and I'm glad you're getting your ducks in a row in case the divorce scenario becomes a reality. Lots of hugs to you!

rssnlvr · January 2012

I, too, have had you on my mind and will continue to think of you.

FWIW, happy anniversary.

FireChiefsBride · January 2012

(((hugs)))

Please call if you need anything.

molliedb · January 2012

**hugs**

Abrooks · January 2012

Big, big hugs to you!!!!

atlantic · January 2012

Thanks for posting -- lots of continued thoughts,prayers, and virtual hugs.

Has your DH agreed to get help at all? Have you set any specific guidelines about what he must do to change in order for you to be willing to work on things. Also, maybe you mentioned this before - but are you seeing a counselor at all, or maybe going to Al-Anon? If you are interested in salvaging the relationship, and haven't done so already, it might be a really helpful step.

I congratulate you on your courage, by the way -- what you are doing and going through is TOUGH.

ACR · January 2012

Lots of hugs. I hope tonight goes well enough. I know this must be a terribly sh!tty position to be in - being in limbo is frustrating.

Ruby44 · January 2012

atlantic:
Also, maybe you mentioned this before - but are you seeing a counselor at all, or maybe going to Al-Anon? If you are interested in salvaging the relationship, and haven't done so already, it might be a really helpful step.

Oh, I've so been there. Please allow me to highly recommend Al-Anon as well, whether you stay married or not. ((hugs))

EGMphoto · January 2012

Glad to see an update - I had been wondering about you, too.

agran · January 2012

I'm glad things are calm right now and I hope you find clarity in the coming weeks and months. You have a fantastic outlook on all this and I wish you nothing but happiness.

GuavaGal · January 2012

atlantic:

Thanks for posting -- lots of continued thoughts,prayers, and virtual hugs.

Has your DH agreed to get help at all? Have you set any specific guidelines about what he must do to change in order for you to be willing to work on things. Also, maybe you mentioned this before - but are you seeing a counselor at all, or maybe going to Al-Anon? If you are interested in salvaging the relationship, and haven't done so already, it might be a really helpful step.

I congratulate you on your courage, by the way -- what you are doing and going through is TOUGH.

I definitely agree with all of this! You've been on my mind lady, and I want you to know you're in my continued thoughts and prayers. You're exactly right--whatever happens, happens, and you will get through it! I have no doubt you'll find happiness, no matter how things turn out.

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