Hello ladies. I rarely post here, but I have a question and was just wondering what you all would do. DH has an opportunity to go TDY about 1 month after our first baby is born. This is voluntary, so my initial reaction was no. I don't like being separated from him for even a short amount of time and feel like we've done this enough since being married. That being said, it should only be for 1wk and hubby feels it is a good chance to make a little extra money. I don't know where he's going yet, but we'll talk about it later when he gets off work. My question is, would you guys "let" your husbands go so soon after having a baby if you had a choice? Would you want them to go on the TDY for the extra money? I know it's not the end of the world if he goes, but I just love having him around and I'm not sure how I'll feel 1 month postpartum. Any insight would be appreciated. Thanks!
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Re: DH going on possible TDY... WWYD?
A 1 week TDY isn't bad, and any extra money is always nice, especially with a new baby!
Maybe the week he's gone would be a good time for a relative to come and stay to visit/help with the baby?
I get the feelings. But (and I am not trying to be snarky or a martyr) when you marry someone in the military, these are the things that will ALWAYS come up.
Sure, it seems to be a choice, but the reality is, every TDY and volunteer activity is one more plus in your career jacket. Sure a week's worth of extra pay seems to be a drop in the bucket, but added up over a career (and I am not talking a lifer career), it is a good amount of money.
Sure having that extra help around the house is wonderful, but it is also not necessary.
Don't "let him go", "SEND HIM OFF" and see just how resourceful and easy it is going to be.
This is a much nicer way of stating what I was thinking.
There might be unforeseen complications, but those won't be known until after you deliver. And by complications, I mean a c-section or postpartum depression. But, if you are young and healthy, by a month out, you will very likely be back on your feet and getting into your mommy groove.
Personally, my DH is a professional. If work needs him to go TDY, he goes. His salary is what supports our family. Especially in this economy and downsizing of our armed forces, it is important for his boss to know that he can be counted on. If my DH won't do something that is required, or asked of him, there is a line of soldiers behind him who will. It is very important to me that my DH have the confidence in me that I can handle the home front. Take this opportunity to show your DH, and his command, that you are able to care for yourself and your infant.
My husband is going for 1 week, when this baby will be about 6 weeks old. We also have an 18 month old, and I am going back to work part time right then. Sure, I would rather have him here, but it is only a week, and really not that big of a deal. My husband can't really do all that much for the baby anyway since I am BF'ing, and getting up with her at night.
I know its hard to be alone, but he is not "asking" to go away for a boys weekend, or a vacation with out you. This will be work, and as the PP said, in the military is never "volunteer" its "Voluntold" If he does not go now, he get something worse later.
My DH has had a deployment every years we have been married, and we are just finding out that his ship wants to do a mini underway for Aug and Sept. I am due Aug 9th. This means that after 5 years of trying to get pregnant, and it FINALLY happening he will miss the birth and first few weeks oh this babies life... It suck really bad, but its the way of the military life...
I am sorry your up set by it, but sometimes you need to be strong for your man so he can do what he needs to do with out being worried about you... A distracted solider is an unprepared one....
Started TTC in 2006, LOTS of trying, and trying, and 7 rounds of IVF with 13 embryos, 2 perfect little boys and 5 loses....
All finished with babies, started to make diet changes, Keto, to be MORE for my kids, lost 30 pounds, still going, and 3 months in, I had a natural cycle, and then ovulated... Hubs and I are going to see what happens now... Maybe a natural pregnancy? After everything we have been through? Or just a return to normal hormones? We shall see what the future holds!
Baby Dust To All!!!
It really will be easier than you think! My DH just recently came home from deployment #4 and he left 2 weeks after our 1st son was born. I found myself so busy that I barely noticed time going by between DS, work and sending things downrange to my husband.
As the other ladies said it is only a week and extra money is great! Plus, it does look good on his military record!
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