Please reassure me I'm making the right decision :(

Re: Please reassure me I'm making the right decision :(

• skio member

  January 2012

  That is a tough spot to be in, and I see myself being in that exact place in about a year when I hope to be considering the delivery of my second. I plan to try for a VBAC but am terrified that I will have the same experience that I had with DD - which is to labor forever, dilate fully, push for 3.5 hours, and still not be able to do it. DD was presenting forehead-up and just would not pass through my pelvic inlet. However, I do believe deep down that I would've been able to birth her vaginally had certain things been done differently.

  I am certain that going through what I went through made my recovery more difficult (as in, it sucked horribly). FWIW, I will reconsider VBAC if my second child measures consistently big like DD did. She always measured a couple weeks ahead and was estimated to be 7lbs at 36w, which was right on target, because she was 9lbs at birth.
  

  It's all up to you and what you're comfortable with. Do you know that your OB and hospital will even try VBACing? Have you researched the risks associated with both VBAC and RCS? If not, I'd do so now. Be as informed as you can and talk to your partner and family for support. Whatever you choose, don't be hard on yourself! The end goal is a healthy baby and mommy. Lots of luck.
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• Loading the player...
• KSimone619 member

  January 2012

  skio:

  That is a tough spot to be in, and I see myself being in that exact place in about a year when I hope to be considering the delivery of my second. I plan to try for a VBAC but am terrified that I will have the same experience that I had with DD - which is to labor forever, dilate fully, push for 3.5 hours, and still not be able to do it. DD was presenting forehead-up and just would not pass through my pelvic inlet. However, I do believe deep down that I would've been able to birth her vaginally had certain things been done differently.

  I am certain that going through what I went through made my recovery more difficult (as in, it sucked horribly). FWIW, I will reconsider VBAC if my second child measures consistently big like DD did. She always measured a couple weeks ahead and was estimated to be 7lbs at 36w, which was right on target, because she was 9lbs at birth.
  

  It's all up to you and what you're comfortable with. Do you know that your OB and hospital will even try VBACing? Have you researched the risks associated with both VBAC and RCS? If not, I'd do so now. Be as informed as you can and talk to your partner and family for support. Whatever you choose, don't be hard on yourself! The end goal is a healthy baby and mommy. Lots of luck.
  

  Yes, I did the research about VBAC and spoke with my doctor about it.  She was willing to support me if I wanted to, but felt that based on my situation the first time, I was a little less likely to be successful.  Also, a RCS is safer for the baby and more safe for mothers than ever before (although still carry much more risks than a VBAC).

  I'm almost doing this backwards- with DD I "grieved" having a CS after the birth, and now I'm doing it before hand.   

  Thank you for your response. 

  
  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• magdalina.h member

  January 2012

  Is your OB pro VBAC? I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I don't. Medically I can only have rcs.
  

  

  

  Report0 Reply
• cottonlily84 member

  January 2012

  So you have or have not scheduled the RCS?  Every delivery is different.  Just because you had a hard time the first go round doesn't mean you will this time.  If you decide on the rcs then don't feel bad about it; everyone has to do what's right for them.  I think what's bothering you more is that you haven't really made your mind up about it.  The uncertainty of everything can make you crazy!  Personally I would try for a VBAC because at least I would know I tried and not be wondering about it forever, but I always had my heart set on a vaginal birth and c/s really bother me.

  

  Report0 Reply
• jjhp2018 member

  January 2012

  I agree with the pp - it could go either way. My first was an early (water broke at 37 weeks), fast, epi free delivery. They figured my 2nd would be the same but we had to induce at 39 weeks (due to GD and some hypertension) and then the baby wouldn't come down and in the end a c-sec was the safer option. She ended up being 9.6lbs and that's why she didn't come down at all.

  My clinic doesn't support VBAC so my only option with them is RCS but i'm pregnant so close to giving birth (#2 and #3 will be 12 months apart) that I know a RCS is the better option for me.

  It's a hard decision to have to make because there is always the "what if I took the other road" thought. In the end just remember you are trying to make the best decision you can and there is no regret in that!

  Report0 Reply
• MommynTeacher member

  January 2012

  I would love to have a VBAC but I hated my c-section. (Just my experience- please no body freak out) It's more than the fact that it wasn't what I imagined but I had no choice...c-section or have a stroke. Just make sure that if you do have another it's what you really want beacuase it could rule out a VBAC in the future.

  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• KSimone619 member

  January 2012

  esd:

  Your experience sounds so close to my own. I wanted and planned a doula assisted and med free birth with DD. But after 16 hrs of labor, me stopping at 9 cm, and DD not dropping down, I had a c/s. Turns out her head was too big to fit and she got stuck. There was no way she was coming vaginally. Even though I do know this, I did have major guilt for a long time after DD was born. 

  I have a RCS scheduled and although I am mostly ok with it I do have doubts too. I am terrified of repeating what happened with DD. I had a great recovery from my cs so I'm hoping this one goes well too.  For me, I know I would feel worse of I tried labor again and it ended with c/s. I was so exhausted after laboring for so long, I don't feel like I really got to enjoy the first few hours of DD's life. With a RCS, I know I won't be physically exhausted and just more aware after this c/s.

  At the end of the day, as long as baby boy gets here safely, that's the most important thing to me. Do what you think is best for you and your family! 

   Thank you for your response.  It's nice to hear I'm not the only one with these concerns.  I keep telling myself that I'm being silly for being so upset about a cs... But pressures from society and pregnancy hormones have helped there! Best wishes to you

  
  
  
  

  Report0 Reply