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September 2011 Moms
Sorry, this is NOT a GBCB!
So, I heard about the little call out of me. I don't know what was said, but I was informed of its existence. I feel I need to address a few things.
First of all, I don't understand how someone who is a mother could have the capacity as a human being to want to hurt or cause harm to another human being. I don't have it in me to do that to another person. I may not get along with another person, but I would never deliberately set out to hurt them. No person should set out to make anther person or another mother feel like *** about themselves. Not any decent person anyway. And to tell someone that anything they ever post is unimportant, that they are unimportant and don't matter, why? Why are you more important and deserving of anything than me? Last time I checked I was a living breathing person, just as deserving of anything as anyone else. Its petty, grade school bs.
Secondly, no one here knows me, or has ever set out to get to know me. I assure you that I am a wonderful, giving, generous person and a pretty damn good mother, but I'm not perfect. Just like the rest of you.
Lisa thinks I left FB because of her and has said it multiple times. I'm sorry, but my universe does not revolve around you, however devastating that might be to you. I just had a baby, just like nearly everyone else in the group and on this board. Would it not occur to you that I needed to leave for my own personal reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with you. Like many others, sometimes I can not deal with the drama. I had just become a mother, and I was and still am trying to figure out how to do that. I needed to step away for a while and FB was the least of my worries. Obviously the admins had no problem welcoming me back. If I were "crazy" or a "pot stirrer" that wouldn't have happened.
I don't have to explain myself to you or anyone here, but I have been fighting off PPD, if you want to call someone crazy for that, then go ahead, I'm sure a lot of people would have a problem with that. I have a highly stressful job and I don't remember when I quit the FB group, but I'm pretty sure it correlated with me going back to work. Name the top 2 professions with the highest suicide rates, Dental and Air Traffic Control. Well those are my and my husband's professions. And I am a mom in the military and you will NEVER understand how hard that is. I'm sure any other military moms on here would wholeheartedly agree with me. Can you imagine doing something that ask you to put your child last, that threatens to take you away from your child every single day, and worse knowing that I could walk away any time within the next 6 months, but I can't knowing that I have to do this to support my family? I work damn hard doing my job, doing my military duties on top of that, supporting my family financially, being a wife, being a mother and a homemaker. On top of this, I live 1,031 miles away from my family and friends and any support system that a lot of people here have on a daily basis. I know many of us are away from family and understand what that's like, especially if you come from a close knit family.
I have a lot to deal with, and I wasn't finding the support I found myself needing here, so I asked to join the FB group again, hoping that the group had settled down for the most part. Maybe that seeing a name and a face would subconsciously make people be a little nicer. That coming up with the most hilariously insulting response wasn't such a contest over there. I also just received an iPhone for Christmas which opened up a lot more time for me to fiddle around on FB, mainly when pumping. I never left here, I never stopped posting here, I don't feel I have to choose one over the other, and I am not going anywhere, sorry.
Another thing, I blocked Lisa on facebook and she knows it, meaning I want no contact from you. Contacting me when I don't desire it is a form of harassment, so aside from in this post, please refrain from contacting me any further. If you have anything to say to me then fine, but I won't give in to any negativity you may or may not display. This goes for any responses from any bumpie, I won't explain myself anymore than I already have in this post, but I will post a response if you have a genuine question and if not I will post "acknowledged" when I have read your post and nothing more if you do post something. I WILL continue to use this board, I will continue to post on The Bump, and I will continue to post on facebook as long as I am allowed. I do thank those who have actually shown some support, and if you have disagreed with me in a civil way. Because there IS a civil way to go about it. I don't expect puppies and rainbows, but also don't expect the mean girl attitude either. Its above me, and its above all of us! I know I am not the only one who doesn't appreciate the immature games. I have NEVER set out to cause drama, and I wish that was the same for each and everyone of us, but its not. I have been so surprised at some of the responses I've received on these boards, I never imagined people would act that way and I guess it makes me naive. This has turned out to be a freaking story book length post, so I apologize if you have made it all the way through, thanks for letting me say my piece.
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Re: Sorry, this is NOT a GBCB!
Okay..I am going to wade into this one..I am not a frequent poster mostly b/c people are rude and will jump all over you for thinking differently than they do, doesn't stop me all the time but prevents me from being more active.
If you are suffering from PPD, get help now. Go to the TMC and sit there until they help you. Do a congressional if you have to or the chaplain, get help.
Everyone has stress, you had your job stress before you had the baby, welcome to motherhood, now your have job stress and mommy stress...learn to manage it. Talk to people, right now, your family is not your blood family, it is the people your are stationed with (well you know what I mean, they will never replace your family, but they can become family). Set up a good network of friends and people you can rely on and relate to...and be reliable.
I can understand the active duty mom thing. I was a single parent who was active duty and then I married an Army guy and became dual mil..and right after number 2 was born he transferred, I got pregnant with number 3 and he deployed and I was still active. It is doable. Lean on people and ask for help and take it when it is offered. If it becomes too much, make a decision, the military or your family. I had to make it, I have not regretted one iota since. My family will be there forever, the military will go on without me..and surprise it has. if you decide to leave the mil or your husband does, train up as much as you can, prepare yourself for the best civilian future you can.
Take what people here have to say with a grain of salt. Buck up, no one who displays keyboard courage will ever hurt me or stop me from doing what I like (i.e., being on this board, posting when I want) and they do not have the ability to hurt me, take control of how you are allowing other people affect you. Drama is everywhere...don't let it get your down. Do you and don't let anyone stop you from doing that.
If you need help or just someone who understands and to vent to, vent away. I'll listen and I won't make fun or you or talk about you. Don't let other people get to you like that.
Cheer up.
LoL, me too!
She said she never saw it.. How could she know what to reply to? Just saying.
? Voted Cool Cat ~ 2012 Sweetpea Mom Awards ?
Don't go through your COC to go to medical..call mental health and make an appt, you do not have to tell your chain what the appt is for, you only have to tell them you have one...I know if you are an ATC it may be tricky, but I think that is just with what meds you may be taking, right?
If you did not like one couselor, go to another..try the chaplain, even if he is not a same faith chaplain, he is still a counselor and can help you. Be proactive. I always told my Sailors no one is going to care more about you than you, always take care of yourself..there is no weakness in asking for and getting help.
Branch out at work, talk to people..people you would have never thought to talk to or hang out with oftentimes become your lifelong friends..and it only takes one. Is this your first duty station? Just wondering. I know it is hard to find a place to fit in but keep trying until you find a place...be a friend and be a good person to other people and you will attract those types of people and they will become your network, your friends, confidants and family.
Take joy in your child and your husband...look forward to something, tell a joke everyday..laughing is a wondeful medicine..and last, don't take the insults personally, if you are not doing anything to improve a situation or help it out, then stay out of and you will find yourself less and less around the drama.
Off my soapbox now.
This post is exactly why people think you're crazy. I'm not saying I agree or disagree, but was this necessary? You didn't see the post, so let it go. All you're doing is drawing more attention to yourself. It makes you look like you are seeking attention, no matter what form it takes.