A very worried intro...

AmyRM · January 2012

Well, wow. Wow.

Many of you won't know me, some might remember me... I was on TTCAL two years ago after my loss at 11.5 weeks. I bailed on posting after too many months being pissed off at the universe, but I've been known to lurk from time to time.

See, my Mom's been sick. She was dx with stage IV breast cancer shortly after my m/c. 2010 was a bad year. Last week we were told she has just months left - though after watching her deteriorate this past week, I'm not holding out hope. We brought her home with hospice care, a hospital bed, and oxygen.

My stomach has been in knots for the past two weeks over this, the stress has been immense. Top that off with a diet of coffee, wine, more wine, chocolate, cheesey popcorn, Indian ordered in twice, and more wine. ..Yeah.... I have not done this baby any good. Getting pregnant was the last thing on my mind...not that we have prevented in any way..

I've had wild cramps - again I thought it was just stress and a bad AF coming on. I drank wine this afternoon with lunch with my sister...then decided to take a test before breaking out the gin. Seriously. WTF. There is was: a blazing BFP. Weeks before my mother dies. How totally unfair.

Do you think I've done this baby harm? How am I going to manage stress in the next few weeks? How can this kind of stress not affect my baby - or this pregnancy?

I'm so scared.

quezzo · January 2012

First, I am so sorry about your mom. Life is certainly far from fair. I am sorry she is suffering and I am sorry you are losing her.

Second though, congratulations on your BFP! I know you are worried about the stress, but think of all the women who lived through the holocaust, wars and horrible situations. Many of them went on to have babies. The baby will get what it needs, even if you aren't getting what you need right now. As far as the wine, I think you will be ok. If you are early you probably aren't sharing a blood supply with the baby yet.

Take it one day at a time, take breaks (emotional and mental) when you need them and be good to yourself right now.

LDW80 · January 2012

First I want to say I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I can't imagine what you must be going through. Secondly congrats on a bfp! I am sure your baby is fine. There are so many women (I am one of them) who have drank right before they found out they were pregnant (and immediately then stopped) and their LO has turned out fine. I wish you all the best and hope you're here for the next 9 months. I will pray for your mom and your family during this difficult time. (((hugs)))
ETA: About the stress and your baby, like quezzo said, take it one day at a time. About 99% of the ladies on here stress like crazy when they first find out they are pregnant. I know your situation is a little different but babies can handle more than we think.

styme46 · January 2012

I'm so sorry about your mom.

I actually got the bfp before this one 4 weeks before my dad passed away from colon cancer in 2010. I ended up getting the final confirmation (after 4 weeks, 3 blood draws, and 2 ultrasounds, and plenty of bleeding later) of my miscarriage on the day of his funeral. So I've been there.

I'd like to say I have some words of wisdom after my experience, but honestly, all I learned was that the cliches of everything happens for a reason and God doesn't give you more than you can handle were so true.

I'm sure you didn't do any harm to your baby and now that you know you are pregnant, you can be more cognizant of taking care of yourself. I know all too well how hard the next few weeks will be for you, and I can offer you an "ear" as someone who's been there and a (((HUG))).

AmyRM · January 2012

Thanks Ladies

jen302 · January 2012

im so sorry about your mother...congratulations on your bfp!...many thoughts, strength and prayers your way...

jantyme · January 2012

I'm so sorry about your mother. Congrats on your BFP. As other ladies have said babies are resilient and I don't think you have caused any harm by having some alcohol before you found out you were pregnant. I know it's hard not to worry as a PGAL. H&H 9 months. And hugs to you and your family.

kevinandmonica2011 · January 2012

What a bittersweet day and a roller coaster of emotions for you. ((big huge hugs))

First, I'm so sorry about your mother. I hope she is as comfortable as possible and that your last days/weeks/months with her are memorable.

Second, congrats on your BFP!! Like PPs have said, I'm sure LO is just fine in there. From now on, don't stress about the past weeks and just do what you can to stay healthy (physically AND emotionally) for you and your baby.

I know you have a lot of stress going on in your life, but I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. You mother may be leaving you soon, but you are bringing a new life into this world. I (personally) wouldn't hesitate a moment to share that news with her and celebrate every moment and milestone that you can with her. She may or may not make it to see her new grandson/grandaughter, but she can be as big a part of your pregnancy for as long as she is here... that may just give her something to hold on to.

You and your family will be in my prayers.

CashewsMommy · January 2012

Oh hun!!! {{{hugs}}} I love you, please know that. I wish I knew words that would help you, but there are none. Just know that i'm here for you, always!

RunSchwartzRun · January 2012

Sweet Amy! I said it all in my FB message, but I am so happy for you. So devastated and so happy. I am here when you need me, night or day. Your LO is strong and will do just fine despite the stress. If stress was going to stop that beautiful little thing it would never have gotten started in the first place. The first weeks are incredibly hard for PGALers, even in much better circumstances than yours, but you will take it day by day and you will get there. ((hugs hugs hugs))

Pachita · January 2012

A very bittersweet moment for you to say the least. First off, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mother's health condition. She will be in my thoughts and prayers. Second, I do want to congratulate you on your BFP. I hope with all my might that this is your take home baby. Don't worry too much about the drinks. It's still too early. ((big hugs)). Sending many positive thoughts your way.

AmyRM · January 2012

Thank you so much - friends... You make everything so much easier. Steph, J, all of you..(HUG)

damabo80 · January 2012

Holy hell, woman!!! Congrats!!!!!

Im so sorry to hear about your mom. I hope that hospice is able to bring her comfort.

Regarding the baby, it's busy munching on it's own cells. It won't start taking olin or nommy cheesy popcorn from you until week 6ish.

Eta: this LO was conceived the day before DH's dad passed away. Bittersweet, indeed.

Olin=gin (autocorrect fail)

AmyRM · January 2012

damabo80:
Holy hell, woman!!!

Hahaha, Damabo...look at us here. I'm two days behind you. I'm going to have ot keep my eye on you!

Thank you, and congrats to you too!

rock-elle · January 2012

Girl, of course I remember you. You do know that a LO does not receive any blood exchange from you until somewhere like 6w or so!?! You are fine pg-wise, however I am so sorry to hear about your mother

Congrats!!!!!

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