Working TTCers poll

ball.and.chain · January 2012

The working moms poll (which I read with interest) got me thinking. I just scheduled an RE appointment today that I wasn't expecting to schedule (long story but trying to do it during the 2ww -- even though I could get pregnant this cycle -- because if I don't get our ducks in a row prior to CD1 I will have to take the next 2 cycles off), and it is this Thursday morning -- I will be 30-45 minutes late to work. Last week I had to come in late for my IUI. The week before that I had to leave early for my HSG. The week before that I came in late for blood work. I happen to have a routine dental check-up scheduled for next week as well, and I'm starting to feel guilty about all the time off -- even though my boss, who knows we're TTC, has been super accomodating and told me not to worry about this stuff. There are only 3 people on my team and people have to pick up my slack when I'm not there.

Did you have trouble with work and your TTC schedule? How did you manage it?

leapgirl8 · January 2012

I told my boss when we started trying and warned him that I might have to be gone unexpectedly or with short notice. Jen chose not to tell her boss, but she told a close co-worker who works for the same person so her co-worker could cover her when necessary. Also, our clinic opens VERY early, so Jen could do her blood work before work and we only took off for consults and IUIs. We were very fortunate that it didn't cause any issues.

I knew it wouldn't be a problem because in 2010 I had a ridiculous amount of appointments - at least 3 a week - when I was a patient at a weight loss clinic and going through PT for my running injury at the same time. In addition to PT and ortho appointments, I had group therapy, nutritionist, and endocrinologist appointments at the clinic on a regular basis. My boss was very cool about it, but eventually the guilt and hectic running around (and the $$$) started to drive me crazy and I dropped out. Compared to that, our TTC appointments were pretty minor.

2brides · January 2012

I am not currently TTC, but I was working while doing so. I never told my employer (or my co-workers who were covering me) what was going on - just that I had medical appointments. This probably wasn't the best approach since we tried off and on for 19m (and the months we weren't trying I still had testing and even once I was pregnant I had some complications and was still at the doctors a lot.) It also didn't help that all of the testing and insems were at least a 30m commute each way. I am pretty sure that by the time I told them (13w) they were just relieved I wasn't dying. LOL.In retrospect, I should have told them - but I had only been working here 6m when we started trying and it felt awkward.

If your boss and co-workers are being supportive and accommodating, go with it. Just make sure you show your appreciation and cover your co-workers cheerfully and willingly when you are able.

ball.and.chain · January 2012

2brides:
I am pretty sure that by the time I told them (13w) they were just relieved I wasn't dying.

Yep, that's why I told my boss! A friend (straight but had fertility problems and conceived through IVF) told me that my co-workers would probably worry about me if I didn't tell them. Since the 3 of us have worked together for a while and are pretty close -- and my boss is awesome and a lesbian -- I thought it was the way to go. I am glad I did, because she really would be worried at this point.

If I'm not pregnant this cycle, there will be some relief from all of this since the RE's office does ultrasounds, bloodwork etc from 7:30-9 am -- like most REs from what I can tell -- and I don't work until 9:30. But the midwife practice only requires one appointment per cycle (no monitoring) so they don't have early hours, and most of my IUIs have ended up being at 2 pm. It takes me an hour to get there from work, and an hour back (it's not far but public transit + driving = PIA). Totally disruptive. And since my previous RE appointment was a consult and this one is sort of a pre-cycle appointment, they're during normal business hours.

At least I am rarely sick, so I don't miss a lot of work for that.

Kershnic · January 2012

For bloodwork and u/s my RE does walk-ins at 7:30am. For IUI you also show up at 7:30, but typically get seen around 9. I have a flexible work schedule so I have not really needed to make excuses - I'm just flexing my time for late evenings. I scheduled my HSG for a day I had previously requested off.

I changed job locations in the fall.... My old job was 60 mins from home; the RE was 45 mins from home and 30 more to work (all public transportation). My new job is significantly more annoying...either I have to do the 45 mins on public transportation, then 45 back home to get my car, then 60 min drive to work.... or I have to drive and pay an extra (i.e. on top of the tolls I always pay) $10 toll, $20 parking, and gas, and then it's about 75 mins drive from RE to work. This month I've been able to schedule a bunch of vacation days I needed to use to avoid that....but if I don't get pregnant this month the next cycles are going to be a pain.

I am not telling my employer. A certain someone above me is not known for being a pregnancy supporter.

2mommiesinoh · January 2012

I had trouble at my work because as my boss put it he did not want it "to become an every month thing" Confused

Eventually he got it that it was going to be for a while and agreed to let me use what we call flex time where we can leave early/be late 4 hours/month as long as we make up the time in that same week. I feel guilty to the point that I try to make every other appintment that I can on Saturday when I am off or late evening after five (thnak god for a flexible pedi and dentist!) and get all my bloodwork done at the clinic that opens at 6 am so I miss a minimal amount of work expcept for the ttc appointments. Thankfully we do at home insem so I get to miss the whole iui scheduling nightmare.

Two*True · January 2012

I scheduled everything prior to work hours. On the rare occasion a morning appointment didn't work I scheduled the last available appt of the day so I could come to work early and then just leave a bit early. For me it was very important not to take advantage of too much 'sick' time for appointments and to maintain a regular schedule. My IUIs all fell on Saturdays so that wasn't an issue for me.

TaylorandMel · January 2012

The first year of TTC, I was working M-F day shift at the hospital (most surgeries are scheduled during the day, and I worked in the OR). Our fertility clinic was just a walk through the tunnel, however their scheduling was very difficult to accommodate with my work schedule.

After that first year of TTC I switched to night shift, which increased my income and made it possible for me to make any appointment time. However, according to my OB, working nights can cause additional infertility issues. When we finally decided to move on to IVF (5 years later), my fertility MD advised me to get off nights and find a less stressful job (due to the amount of money we were going to be spending- and I was working every weekend nights in the ER- the busiest time!).

So I switched positions in the hospital and now work straight evenings. Working evenings made it possible for me to make any appointment time, and I was able to get on a regular sleep schedule. While the job may not be my ideal position, our IVF was successful, which is most important for us (I can always switch to a different RN position in the future).

Good luck for all of you TTC.

clairmeij · January 2012

Hmmm, something to consider that I hand't previously. I hadn't planned on telling anyone but I should really start thinking about it. My job is flexible, I come and go as I please, and I work from home whenever I like. I try not to abuse it, and normally book the day off for any doctor's appointments, seeing as though I don't have many, and I like to not have to rush back to work. Having read all of your input, I really should have a better plan.

ball.and.chain · January 2012

clairmeij:
Hmmm, something to consider that I hand't previously. I hadn't planned on telling anyone but I should really start thinking about it. My job is flexible, I come and go as I please, and I work from home whenever I like. I try not to abuse it, and normally book the day off for any doctor's appointments, seeing as though I don't have many, and I like to not have to rush back to work. Having read all of your input, I really should have a better plan.

I thought it would be REALLY weird to tell my boss and co-worker, but my friend convinced me and I'm glad I did. It really depends on your relationship with your employer.

Now the weird part is that they know when I'm going in for an IUI, both are women and they can do the math, so it will be hard to keep a pregnancy a secret from them for long. Normally I would wait a while to tell them, but at some point I'm going to either have to just tell them or outright lie (and invent IUI appointments).

The process IS very time-consuming. I have commented to my co-worker on a few occasions that I feel like I have a part-time job on the side (it's not THAT bad, but there have been days, especially since I may be in the process of switching from one practice to the other, when between calling to have medical records faxed, checking to be sure they were received, setting up appointments, asking questions, and ordering sperm, I feel like I'm on the phone about this constantly). Which brings me to another reason I'm glad I told work: when I call the RE's office and they call me back, the caller ID, which my colleagues can see, says "FERTILITY." Subtle, guys.

JoySeattle · January 2012

I don't have a boss (self-employed), but I do have clients. Part of my job is scheduled and part is on-call. While on-call, I can't be unavailable without back-up. I'm debating either having great back-up lined up or not being on call (which equals loss of $$$) while ttc. Our plan is to do home insems for the first cycle or two, then RE for monitoring and home insems, then RE for the whole shebang. C's current (and part-time) job has some flexibility, so it should be easy to accommodate ttc (and later midwifery) appointments.

LV1979 · January 2012

We had major problems in this department. DW is a high school teacher and has to be at work at 6:45 am. The first montioring appts at our clinic are 7:15 am and they dont do IUIs before 9:00 am or after 11:30 am. This meant everytime she had an appointment she had to take at least 1/2 a day because the schools dont allow "hours" off. It sucked and we burned through her leave time in 3 tries. She is done for now and we may try again later.

ball.and.chain · January 2012

LV1979:
We had major problems in this department. DW is a high school teacher and has to be at work at 6:45 am. The first montioring appts at our clinic are 7:15 am and they dont do IUIs before 9:00 am or after 11:30 am. This meant everytime she had an appointment she had to take at least 1/2 a day because the schools dont allow "hours" off. It sucked and we burned through her leave time in 3 tries. She is done for now and we may try again later.

I used to teach high school and I was thinking about how hard it would have been for me to do this then. I guess I probably would have just called in sick a lot.

Kershnic · January 2012

Yeah, teaching and TTC with an RE with morning hours sounds really difficult.

We were actually originally planning a bigger job change before TTC, but when I realized how much monitoring etc. there would be I knew I needed to stick with my flexible job. (Not to mention good insurance.)

bluedaisyus · January 2012

my boss has at least vaguely known both times we were trying, as has my co-worker, and I've never had a problem taking time off. my work runs on a bi-weekly schedule, so really unless the appointments are during a critical time of the second week then it's not a big deal and I don't usually need them to pick up any of my work. up until this month my wife was on third shift, so it was never an issue for her. she might get a little less sleep, or sleep at a different time, but never had to take time off of work.

now that she's on first shift it's a lot harder for her. she can't take hours off, only half or whole days, only a certain number of people can be off per shift, etc., and since appointments tend to be pretty short notice it's really hard to plan them. pretty much all RE appointments are at 9am and she works 6:30a-3p it means she has to take a whole day for any appointments she goes to. later on, once we have a successful pregnancy, I should be able to schedule important appointments late enough that she'd be able to go and either take a half day or no time off. I've had a few appointments that I've had to go to by myself already, but it's just been blood draws and monitoring ultrasounds so it hasn't been a big deal.

tdmklm · January 2012

I told my immediate supervisor pretty quickly because, although I have a relatively flexible work schedule, our donor was three hours away. It was a bit of a "wait, wait, wait, nowlet'sgetreadyandmovegogogogogo" situation, and as we all know, the exact timing of things is often tricky to predict. She also knew right away when I was pregnant. I told others in the office earlier than I would have liked because, just before 12 weeks, I started to bleed. As it turned out, I had a very large SCH and the doctor said it was 50/50. I was a mess and had to take some time off, so I figured people should know why. My circumstances were probably a bit different because everyone in my office is pretty close - most of us are outside-the-office friends - so they're people we may naturally have told earlier anyway.

Alysia82 · January 2012

I told my supervisor and she hasn't had any issues with doctors appointments that I have had. We will see how it goes once the IUIs start.

ball.and.chain · January 2012

bluedaisyus:

I've had a few appointments that I've had to go to by myself already, but it's just been blood draws and monitoring ultrasounds so it hasn't been a big deal.

Oh, I can't even imagine trying to coordinate TWO schedules! I go to all of my appointments alone (except consults because we could schedule those well in advance). My wife can't really take time off on short notice (unless it's an emergency) and doesn't believe in taking sick time.

bluedaisyus · January 2012

ball.and.chain:
bluedaisyus:

I've had a few appointments that I've had to go to by myself already, but it's just been blood draws and monitoring ultrasounds so it hasn't been a big deal.

Oh, I can't even imagine trying to coordinate TWO schedules! I go to all of my appointments alone (except consults because we could schedule those well in advance). My wife can't really take time off on short notice (unless it's an emergency) and doesn't believe in taking sick time.

yeah, it's tough. when she was trying/pregnant I went to pretty much everything--but we also didn't get to the point of all the monitoring and bloodwork and ultrasounds because she never did injectables, so it was basically two appointments each cycle (one to check follies and one for the IUI), and then I went to all the OB appointments. I've already told her that while I want her to be at the IUIs if possible, and I need her to be there for the ultrasound to check for heartbeat especially after the last two experiences, other than that I don't care. it's not as important to her to be there for everything (other than the ultrasounds once I get pregnant) as it was to me to be there either, if that makes sense, which is fine. she'll be there when it matters most.

ball.and.chain · January 2012

bluedaisyus:
she'll be there when it matters most.

That's how I feel...basically, labor and delivery! No, I'm kidding. Once I'm pregnant I'll want her there for the important appointments. When we started I was hoping I'd end up having IUIs on days she was off, but it's never worked out that way, and now I don't care. I figure it's not like conception occurs while I'm on the exam table, so I don't need her to come watch someone squirt a stranger's sperm into my uterus, especially since most of them won't take.

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