Court Ordered to Change Last Name

WhatDidIDoWrong · January 2012

Hi Ladies,

Has anyone been court ordered to completely change or at least hyphenate their Lo's last name.

My son has my last name and now his father wants it changed to his. If I wont change it completely then he will take a hyphenated last name. Why is his last name more important than mine?

If it does get court order to be hyphenated do I actually have to use it except on official documents?

mdotm0904 · January 2012

Pretty sure you can call your kid whatever you want. But if it is ordered to be changed that's the name you'd have to use for legal documents. Has he already petitioned the courts to have it changed or is he just being a butt munch about it?

katie_cj · January 2012

If the court orders you to change or hyphenate the name, then yes, you'll have to use it on official documents.

Were you married to the father? Just curious about that.

But honestly, I think he's blowing smoke and that you have nothing to worry about.

JCGreene85 · January 2012

My Ex wants LO's last name changed to his, or hyphenated. My lawyer said that if we go to court and he requests it, its a coin toss on what the outcome will be.

I will not change LO's last name and I refuse to even hyphenate it. If it does go to court I have evidence on why it wouldnt be in the best interest of the child to change it.

I have text from my ex saying : he doesnt want a child that doesnt bare his last name and also a text saying that he would relinquish his rights so he can get out of paying CS. I dont think a judge will grant a name change to someone who wants out of their sons life...

Were you married? I wasnt.

WhatDidIDoWrong · January 2012

No, I was never married to his father. I actually left when I was 4 months pregnant and he wasn't involved in the pregnancy or there for the birth. He even said he wasn't his father at one point.

I wish DS was a little older because then I heard it was a little less likely to change a name because the child already knows it.

And DS's father is petitioning for a change in visitation to include overnights and the name change is included with that petition.

dufferoo · January 2012

Hi! This is my first time posting on this board, but after 7 years of single motherhood (I finally did get married--not to her dad--a couple years ago), I pretty much learned all the stupid bullying games that dads try to play. Just him saying "if I won't change it completely then he will take a hyphenated last name" makes me think he knows the court isn't going to force you to change the name, but he'll take what he can get because of your fear of going to court. I have a good feeling the court wouldn't force you to change it unless there was a really good reason why. Try your best not to live in fear of court, because he will try to use that to get you to do what he wants. BTW, I gave my daughter my last name at birth, and kept it that way until I did get married and then petitioned the court for both of us to change our last names to my husband's, and the court actually granted that, against her dad's will, because we presented sufficient evidence that it would benefit her. Good luck!

DaringMiss · January 2012

Is the father on the birth certificate? Is he paying child support?

If he did not sign the birth certificate or submit to a DNA test to prove paternity, then he doesn't have a legal leg to stand on. He would have to go to court to establish paternity, be assessed child support and then he could request a name change. Without those steps, he has no legal relationship to the child and therefore has no naming rights.

If he is on the birth certificate and paying CS and maintaining a strong visitation schedule, then the courts may rule in his favor. Your lawyer could make a strong argument that the child having a different name than you, his primary custodian, could be problematic. Ass PP stated, your odds would be 50-50.

alt0925 · January 2012

Lurking*

Idk where you live but I live in PA. Here in Pennsylvania, we can give our child any name we want and there is nothing anyone can do about it. For instance. My fathers last night is Jones. My mothers maiden name is Smith. My mother was married but separated when she got pregnant with me, so she and my dad were never married. She didn't want me to have my fathers last name of Jones so she gave me her current married name of Thomas. The man named Thomas is someone I've never even met. I am in no way shape or form related to any thomas on the planet but that's the name I have. My father tried to fight it and he couldn't change it.

When I just had DD, she was born out of wedlock. The hospital told me I give her the last name Pink if I want and no one could stop me. The law used to be (a long time ago) that your child had to have the fathers last name if you were married and the mothers last name if you weren't. That has since changed and you can name your child whatever you wish.

I really don't think any judge is concerned about the childs last name. They are more concerned with how they are cared for.

Lissa832 · January 2012

I'm just lurking, but my brother was in a similar situation. He established paternity and wanted his son to have his last name. The mother said no, so that was that. The court told him unless she agreed to it, it wouldn't be changed. That was when she had full custody.

My brother has had FC of my nephew since he was 18 months old. He's about to turn 8. His mother has zero parental rights to him. My brother still can't just change his name. He would have to petition the court, and it would probably be granted, but not necessarily. It is a real headache for him though because the school required documentation of custody because they don't share the same last name. In the early days of his custody, he asked to change it and the court denied it because his mom was still involved.

With that said, I find it very unlikely that you will be forced to do anything. Unless it can be shown it is in his best interest, it likely won't be granted. The only way it could be in his best interest is if BD had FC. Then it just becomes easier with regards to school, IMO.

WhatDidIDoWrong · January 2012

alt0925:
Lurking*

Idk where you live but I live in PA. Here in Pennsylvania, we can give our child any name we want and there is nothing anyone can do about it. For instance. My fathers last night is Jones. My mothers maiden name is Smith. My mother was married but separated when she got pregnant with me, so she and my dad were never married. She didn't want me to have my fathers last name of Jones so she gave me her current married name of Thomas. The man named Thomas is someone I've never even met. I am in no way shape or form related to any thomas on the planet but that's the name I have. My father tried to fight it and he couldn't change it.

When I just had DD, she was born out of wedlock. The hospital told me I give her the last name Pink if I want and no one could stop me. The law used to be (a long time ago) that your child had to have the fathers last name if you were married and the mothers last name if you weren't. That has since changed and you can name your child whatever you wish.

I really don't think any judge is concerned about the childs last name. They are more concerned with how they are cared for.

Hi,

I live in PA as well. Do you know how your dad tried to fight your last name? Did he go to court or just when your mom was naming you?

I was told I could give my son any name I wanted to too but nobody said what would happen 18 months later when his father didn't like it anymore.

WhatDidIDoWrong · January 2012

Lissa832:
I'm just lurking, but my brother was in a similar situation. He established paternity and wanted his son to have his last name. The mother said no, so that was that. The court told him unless she agreed to it, it wouldn't be changed. That was when she had full custody.

Paternity for my son has been established because of child support but he isn't on the BC.

I have primary physical custody and we have 50/50 legal even though my son's father does nothing involving his medical, daycare (education) or religion.

DaringMiss · January 2012

WhatDidIDoWrong:
Lissa832:
I'm just lurking, but my brother was in a similar situation. He established paternity and wanted his son to have his last name. The mother said no, so that was that. The court told him unless she agreed to it, it wouldn't be changed. That was when she had full custody.
Paternity for my son has been established because of child support but he isn't on the BC.
I have primary physical custody and we have 50/50 legal even though my son's father does nothing involving his medical, daycare (education) or religion.

I am curious about how he is not on the birth certificate if paternity has been established.

Sit back and see if he cares enough about this to file in court. Don't panic until he actually takes action. Don't let him freak you out.

WhatDidIDoWrong · January 2012

DaringMiss:
WhatDidIDoWrong:
Lissa832:
I'm just lurking, but my brother was in a similar situation. He established paternity and wanted his son to have his last name. The mother said no, so that was that. The court told him unless she agreed to it, it wouldn't be changed. That was when she had full custody.
Paternity for my son has been established because of child support but he isn't on the BC.
I have primary physical custody and we have 50/50 legal even though my son's father does nothing involving his medical, daycare (education) or religion.
I am curious about how he is not on the birth certificate if paternity has been established.
Sit back and see if he cares enough about this to file in court. &p;Don't panic until he actually takes action. Don't let him freak you out.

In my state if the couple isn't married then the AOP has to be signed by the father. My ex was not at the birth but about a month later he did sign it. After he signed the AOP he would have been added to the BC. Well after I filed for CS he decided to recind the AOP. To get child support we had to do a paternity test. After the results came back they sent them to us but not the state. If he wants to be added he needs to send the results to the state himself. He of course has not done that. He has already filed for it to be changed. We are just waiting on a date from the court. *sorry bumping from my phone.

ballmom · January 2012

I am in IN and the judge did rule that DS was to have BD's last name. BD had already signed the affidavit to have his name on the BC, and I had already given DS BD's last name. The judge said as paternity had been established it was the BIOTC to have his father's last name. It really was a moot point as BD was not in his life and my late-DH did a step parent adoption many years later.

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