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Northern California Babies
mandy0505
member
Tell me how you were able to get your baby to sleep...
mandy0505
member
in his/her crib.
For the most part, E falls asleep being rocked and then slowly is transitioned to her crib. Sometimes she wakes and has to be rocked again, sometimes she wakes an hour later and on the very rare occasion she sleeps for about four hours. E is ebf. but when I am gone gets two bottles of bm a night.
I would really like to get to the point where I can put her in her crib while awake and then she can go to sleep on her own. CIO is not for me, I just can't do it. No judgement on the people that do, I respect you for being able to do so.
I guess the bigger problem for me is that she doesn't know how to self-soothe. When she does sleep in our bed she sleeps for hours at a time which is not typical. Is it possible that some children/babies are just meant to co-sleep?
Thank you for any info
****missing my little angel since 11/28/12 (m/c 8.4 weeks)****
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Re: Tell me how you were able to get your baby to sleep...
DD has been falling asleep on her own since about 4 months. I'm not sure what did it but this is what we do. She has a thin blanket that she sleeps with and her pacifier which she doesn't love but will use on occassion. We also use a sound machine.
I used to do what you do, rock to sleep, put in crib, would wake up, etc. Exactly what you described and then one day she didn't want to be rocked anymore so I just put her in her crib and she would fall asleep on her own. Now, recently since I went back to work, I've been rocking her to sleep on some days but most days she likes to fall asleep on her own.
Is it the same for daytime naps?
For daytime naps she usually is not in her crib. I'm usually on the go during my three days off so she will frequently fall asleep in her carseat on the way to wherever we are going. On the days I work, my mom is watching her during the day. I think what she does is rock her and then hold her while she sleeps. She usually takes thirty minute naps 2-3 times a day.
We also have a sound machine. She also uses the Merlin magic sleep suit which has helped because she used to be up every 1 1/2 -2 hours. Now we will typically get 4 hours at the beginning and then every 2 hours after that (for nights)
I had to do CIO with DD at 4m because she would not sleep for longer than 30m exactly and getting her to bed at night was utter fricken hell for us. I bought the book 'Happy Child, Healthy Sleep Habits' by Marc Weissbluth and it made life so much better.
If I knew she was fed, dry and needing sleep I'd let her cry for 5m then go in and soothe her (it said don't take out of crib, but I did to rock/pat her then leave when she's calm), then repeat at 10m from leaving the room, 15, 20, etc. until asleep. the first night took 20 minutes, next night took 10m, 3rd night didn't require us to go in until a feeding 4-5 hours later.
At the end of your post, you asked if some babies are just meant to co-sleep. In all honesty, I think all babies were meant to co-sleep. Some babies are really good self-soothers for whatever reason, but most are not. I'm not sure why we, in our culture, expect a child who is in no way self-sufficient to be able to be self-soothing.
If you need her to go down by herself in her crib, because that's what needs to happen for your family, then you'll need to find a tool that works for you. Setting a sleepytime environment and routine is important. Starting about an hour before bedtime, put the routine into place. Our routine was PJS, wash face and hands (bathing my kids amps them up, so no baths at night), brush teeth, story with dad, quiet slow dance with mom, nurse to sleep. For some kids the nap and bedtime routine needs to be the same. If your baby is used to napping in the car, she might need a drive in the car to fall asleep at night too.
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With DD, she was a text book case for Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. She responded very well, she thrived on a schedule and it had to be strictly enforced or her sleep went to crap. She was an awesome sleeper, did not like to be swaddled and started self-soothing by sucking her thumb at about 2 months. She STTN early.
DS was a totally different story. Had to be swaddled - tight - slept like crap no matter what and did not learn to self-soothe until much, much later. His tempermant is just completely different and while I am not anti CIO by any means, it was not something we could do with him because he would just work himself into a tizzy. He just took a lot longer to self-soothe and be able to sleep for long periods. All kids are different. Honestly, he's still pretty bad about self-soothing in general. He sleeps great, but cries a lot more than his sister ever did when he's awake. He wants to be held constantly, my daughter didn't want us to touch her. Totally different kids!!
I am no help. DD1 bed-sharred until about a year and then co-slept until 21 months (and even then for a while we laid with her until she went to sleep.) DS bed shared until about a 1 year and then co-slept until 18 months and then moved in with DD1. When he was about 2 and DD1 was 4 we were finally able to sometimes say good night and close the door and they would sleep. DD2 is still bed-sharring at 17 months.
I think you have to do what works for you and if your children despite what others opinions are (or what society tells us.) My mom always use to complain about how I spoil my children (with love) by letting them sleep with me. Now she feels so happy I did because even at almost 4 and 6 they still like to cuddle (which is the complete opposite of what happened with me & my siblings.)
My daughter is exactly like yours, word for word. There's no way we can do CIO, and not only because I can't handle it... I literally don't think it would work for her- she would work herself into a tizzy, like the PP said. When left to cry, she works herself into a frantic mess, cries harder and harder, throws up, etc. I know this only because I've had to let her cry when we've been in the car, she was screaming, and I could do nothing to soothe her.
I have a feeling your daughter would do the same with CIO, from the sound of it.
What works for us is having a very strong set of "sleep association" tools that we both use consistently. I think it was Bumpie jsugrin who first told me about this. For us, our tools at bedtime are a pacifier, white noise machine, lights off, sitting in the rocking chair, holding her sideways, pressed close to us, and rocking/lightly bouncing while shushing. By doing this the exact same way no matter who is putting her down (we've taught this to her grandparents and our daycare provider), she now gets drowsy immediately when we begin and is asleep and into her crib in no time. When she wakes up overnight, all we have to do is put her into that position in the glider and she's immediately back asleep.
FWIW, I stopped nursing overnight at about 9 months. Instead, my husband would go in and do our "back to sleep" routine and we found she didn't need that nighttime nursing anymore. That helped her to sleep longer, because she stopped waking up to eat. She doesn't sleep perfectly, but we no longer have her waking up every 2 hours.
So my point is that maybe your daughter (like my daughter) won't be a baby who can simply be put into her crib to fall asleep, so don't stress yourself out with that hope/expectation. By creating a routine that everyone does in the exact same way, hopefully she'll know when it's bedtime and will rock to sleep quickly, like we've taught H to do. Good luck! I know how it feels to have a difficult sleeper.
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Haley Beth ~ March 3rd, 2011
I co-slept (bed-sharred) with both of my boys till around 6 months. We did do CIO for both to help teach them to sleep on their own. It's not for everyone. Both the boys slept better in the crib once they were in it, even for naps.
I'd try a paci to help her self soothe. DS # 1 liked it for that purpose. DS # 2 did for a bit and does not like it now. Also, a nighttime routine is helpful, which I started for both boys around 2 months.
Thank you for everyone's input I truly appreciate it. I guess I should have added that we have a bedtime routine about an hour before bed which includes:
bath, lotion, pj's, nursing session (she goes to sleep around 8p, and i start work at 9pm), book and then usually she will fall asleep and I will transition her to the crib.
co-sleeping works on my days I'm off but when I'm at work, I'm not sure I feel comfortable with my mom co-sleeping with her as my mom is a deep sleeper. I think I will look into the book that was suggested and see if it might work for ys. Sleeping has only become a huge problem in the past month, fingers crossed it will get better,
Thanks again to everyone who responded
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Haley Beth ~ March 3rd, 2011
Ok, I disagree that all babies are meant to co-sleep, because for us, it never worked. Our baby would just be more stimulated by our presence. I know as a pediatrician, that when babies are rocked to sleep, and then put in their crib, they wake up and it's disorienting, they need the same conditions to go back to sleep. For most kids, the only way to get them to spend the night in a crib is to have them fall asleep in the crib. We started at about 3 months, to have her fall asleep in the Amby hammock, which was easier since it bounces and rocks. We would sing to her, put white noise, soothe her by bouncing her and she would eventually fall asleep. then we started moving to the crib at about 4 months, since I felt the Amby is unsafe when the baby can turn over. At that point, she couldn't bounce anymore, so we would just sit with her or leave for a few minutes and if she didn't cry let her "fuss" a little or "complain" until she fell asleep. I never let her cry for more than a minute or two, but I do let her talk to herself, fuss a little, complain a little. It's a different level, some babies need to make a little noise before they fall asleep. it took work, leaving, going back in, soothing her with a little breast milk, putting her back down. For us, cosleeping never worked or I probably would have resorted to it at some point. I did read HSHHC and I liked it for the preventative information, how long a baby should be awake, what to expect at what point, nap wise, etc.
also for us, it turned out from a very young age that she couldn't sleep outside the house. so i had to be home for every nap. It was not easy especially when there were several, but I am really into sleep so I was ok with it. Now she can sleep in the car, but it's nothing like a home nap, which can be up to three hours.