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Breastfeeding
kristin172429
member
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If you had to tell a new BF mom one thing....
kristin172429
member
What would it be?
I am quickly approaching the arrival of our little boy and will be breastfeeding. I am reading books and articles and this board as much as possible to really try and get a sense of what to expect, what the latch is all about, etc. My hospital policy is to place the baby on your chest immediately following the birth and they give you an hour to bond and breastfeed, which I love. I know I will be overwhelmed with just having delivered and meeting him for the first time and will probably feel a little anxious about his first feeding.
- What would you want any new breastfeeding mom to know in those first moments (or what did you wish you had known)?
- Any other tip about starting the breastfeeding relationship that you found invaluable?
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Re: If you had to tell a new BF mom one thing....
I wanted to start a blog just for this reason! I would tell her (you) this:
1) In the first hour after birth try not to obsess about "the latch"
Everything I read said those first two hours are so critical to starting off breastfeeding right. He came out, we snuggled and I immediately started trying to get him to feed. It did not go well and instead of just enjoying the miracle in my arms I was getting so frustrated trying to feed him! Try not to let that happen. Just enjoy the time. You'll have the next two weeks to figure out how to do it right.
which brings me to number 2....
2) It will probably hurt. Don't let anyone convince you it shouldn't hurt. Yeah, the latch needs to be correct but your nipples are not used to this and it will hurt. Just bear down and stick with it and after about two weeks it should get a LOT better. Don't give up!
Best of luck to you!
The first week is hard but don't give up, it gets easier. Between nipple soreness and the engorgement it can be painful but that passes too. Good luck!
-In the first minutes don't force it, let baby latch on which sometimes take an hour, but that hour will go by quickly!
-it's certainly not easy to BF but it is worth it. If you are having trouble ASK for help BEFORE you keep letting the hurt continue to the point of tears.
-unless you have evidence that you are not making enough milk ie baby is not gaining weight, you have plenty of milk and are all your baby needs. You don't need to pump to prove this or to "make more milk" in the first few weeks and create an oversupply that is so commonly referenced on here as hind/foremilk inbalance.
-find a comfy chair/pillow/tv/computer/water set up and plan to spend a lot of time there!
GL! you can do it!
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1. Wait several weeks before you bust out the pump! I pumped for the first time when E was 2 or 3 weeks old. At the time, with her being so small, pumping seemed really easy compared to BFing, and I was tempted to try exclusively pumping instead. Now that we're both more experienced, pumping seems like a big PITA. I'm glad we stuck it out.
2. Don't expect to get much done in the first weeks of baby's life. You will not clean the house. You will not cook fancy dinners. You will not go for visits. You will breastfeed. This is physically and psychologically draining, so be prepared.
3. If you're bashful about BFing in front of people, try to limit visitors in the first weeks. My LO was very picky about her feeding habits in the beginning. We had to be in her favorite chair with her boppy. She really preferred skin to skin and wouldn't tolerate the use of modesty blankets. This didn't sit well with my sense of modesty and led to some uncomfortable moments with company when I tried to delay feedings until I could get people out of my house. So spread the word beforehand that people need to call first and schedule their visits around the baby's feedings.
If you feel like all you're doing is breastfeeding (especially in the first month), you're doing it right. It's a full time job for the first few weeks.
Get plugged in to a support network. Go to a La Leche meeting or a support group run by the hospital. Have breastfeeding friends you can call. Hang out here.
Natural Birth Board FAQs
Cloth Diaper Review Sheet
1- Even if you have no latching problems, it WILL hurt at first (sore/chapped)...just stick it out..and get some NIPPLE CREAM. Once you milk comes in after the first few days, everything will heal and it shouldn't hurt anymore.
2- Use a pillow, or boppy, or breastfriend...SOMETHING to support your arms - they will get tired if you try to hold your LO without any support.
3- Remember babies nurse different ways - some are quick and some like to draw it out! You may even end up a human pacifier for a while. You'll quickly learn what kind of habits your LO has. Just have patience...also...growth spurts..be prepared! That's when eating habits change. It's normal
4- I agree with he PP about nursing right after delivery. I DID NOT get a chance to nurse right after I delivered my LO (there was a little complication so the nurses had to take her after a few minutes)...but I did get to hold her when she first came out and I cherish that first moment (while DH was cutting her cord) instead of worrying about nursing. When they brought her to me to nurse (about 2 hours later after moving to my recovery room)...we did skin to skin and she latched perfectly...looking back I don't regret not pushing to nurse right away! It was nice to be in a calm situation learning how the whole BF thing works, with just my DH there.
5- Don't be afraid to ask the nurses or Lactation consultant for advice or help! I had NO IDEA what I was doing, and the nurse was nice enough to give me advice and to help with the first latch. She also showed me different way to hold her. I'm forever grateful for that advice because no matter what you read, actually doing it is a whole different story.
6- Burp clothes are veeery useful! Get lots of them
BF can get a little messy between engorgement, LO dribbling, and spit up....
7- Don't forget to continue taking your prenatal vitamins! It's still beneficial for both of you!
8- If you EBF, your pedi will ask you to get vitamin d for your LO - this is a great brand because it's odorless, tasteless, and they only need one drop a day compared to the amount you have to give of other brands. >> https://www.amazon.com/Carlson-Labs-Natural-Vitamin-Drops/dp/B003BVIBMO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1327278887&sr=8-2
Hmm...If I think of anything else, I'll add it!
?Little Love of my Life?
All the great advice I will add my two cents...
1) If you feel like something isn't working ask for help, your Dr, LO's Dr., a Lactation consultant. I was stressing out as my supply was not up to LO's needs right away, these people were of great help to me. We are currently still working out the kinks at 4 weeks. It is okay if it takes time to figure it out. If you have to supplement with formula it is ok, things will get better, my LO was supplemented until my supply came around to accomodate him. If your LO has latch, suck or other nursing related issues a great LC can help. We are still working with ours to make sure LO is getting enough/gaining weight/getting a better suck. I do pump more than he nurses but am hoping he will get a stronger suck and nurse on his own better. If not I am ok with pumping to feed him he is still getting the benefits of BM.
2) As crazy as it sounds and feels like you won't do it, sleep when LO sleeps at least once a day it helps with supply and your emotional state. I was a mess for the first week until I started to take a nap in the afternoon with LO. You may feel like you have it all under control and feel great....believe me you need a nap with the sleep deprovation of getting up to feed LO.
It's hard and painful but so so worth it.
Get help from a pro, get support from anyone willing to give it, and stick with it.
Set small, easy to reach goals. I nursed my daughter for a year and my goal in the beginning was to make it through one feeding at a time. Then it became one day at a time, then one week at a time, then one month at a tIme.
Good luck. You can do it!
The first week is hard? try the first month! It will get SO MUCH EASIER after the first month. Hang in there.
Don't fret about the latch right off the bat. Baby is not going to be hungry when he first meets you. Stare at your baby, introduce yourselves, and hold him. Don't worry about BF right off the bat. I waited until the next morning (about 7 hours later) and we got off to a much better start than we would have right off the bat (IMO).
Enlist the help of LLL and LC. They made a world of difference to me.
Don't fret if for some reason you don't get that initial skin-to-skin / feeding. DD was taken away from me for at least 3 hours at first because she had swallowed fluid (or something). I cried the entire time and was convinced bf'ing was going to be a pain because of it. She was not given formula, and she latched and bf like a champ when I got her and she's doing great with bf'ing to this day.
Also, you'll read a lot of different and conflicting things and hear a lot of different and conflicting things. Take in what you want, but usually you can trust your gut instinct.
People who say it shouldn't hurt are lying. DD was a miracle baby born with a great latch but it hurt like a B every time she ate for a few weeks.
IT GETS EASIER! The first month or two were rough- felt like I was literally always feeding her. Now at six months it's great- she takes maybe 10 min total for each is 6or 7 feedings as compared to 30-50 mins for each of 7 to 12 feedings a day at first.
Mine sound negative but it's what I wish someone told me.
Forget the idea of bfing being a great bonding experience for the first month. Even with a goof latch it hurts, it's tiring, and you feel like an all you can eat buffet. I didn't start to enjoy it until around 8 weeks and now it relaxes us both on bad days.
Moo like a cow. No, seriously. When it seems too much and you can't take it anymore look down at your baby and go "mooooo". It will make you laugh and help restore the balance of sanity.
House / Baby blog
I love this and will probably be employing it overnight sometime tonight!
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OMG I love your analogies!!! I do feel like an all you can eat buffet! With all our struggles, which we are still working out, it feels like a never ending process to feed LO. I end one feeding session and depending on what variation we are doing I have about and hour or two not feeding/pumping....
Mooing like a cow!!! Sooooo funny DH and I are laughing as you read this. I totally needed to read this! Humor is a great way to alleviate the stress of the learning process of breast feeding.
DH was great early on in our struggles as we worked through them, a lot of my issues were due to the hormones..."Stupid pregnancy hormones" (DH would make me say it out loud...repeatedly, and if I mumbled it I had to say it again) was my mantra each time I began to break down when things would get too stressful or I would get hormonal... it would make me laugh and calm down.
It could very well just be easy!
I was so armed with information and this that and the other for what happened in this bad case and that bad case, etc. Turns out I had 2 eager eaters and it went really well. It's sore to begin with. Mine wasn't sore until my milk came in and then it was really uncomfortable for a few days and was just awkward for about 2 weeks but after that it's been easy.
A positive attitude can go a long ways. Do your best to trust yourself that it will all go well, and if not, you'll find someone who will help you make it go well.
Good luck! I'm so excited for you!
I love the pp who said don't quit on a bad day. There will probably be many times you feel like giving up (I know there were for me) it's hard. But the good times (which for a lot come after the first few weeks
) are sooo worth it.
Every time I thought of quitting I would say I'll just give it a few more days and in those few days I realized I love bfing her... Until the next day haha
But seriously, my lo is only 4 mo and I know the best of our bfing relationship is still to come and it makes me so happy I didn't give up all those times I wanted to
And anytime you SERIOUSLY feel like quitting - get help! There are many resources that you can use before quitting. The problem could be a simple fix
"What did my fingers do before they held you? What did my heart do with it's love?"
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THIS!!! All of your positive (and honest) advice is so refreshing. I am so committed to EBF, but I constantly get negative comments from people about how hard it is, and how sometimes it just "doesn't work out." This makes me feel like, regardless of how tough it is (and I know it can be VERY tough) if there's a will, there's a way. And I have so much will!
"Never quit on a bad day"
This got me through the first 3 weeks. It was the best advice I recieved about BFing.
BFP#2: EDD 2/11/14, MMC confirmed 7/15/13 (growth stopped at 6 weeks), D&C @ 12 weeks 7/25/13
If you are EBF, be prepared to nurse around the clock. Even though you "just fed the baby", it will be time for your LO to eat again. Even with a good latch, do not expect the pain to subside for at least 6 weeks.
Congratulations and good luck!
This definitely this! There were several times that I wanted to give up but it was always in the heat of the moment. There are very frustrating times but once you hit your stride it will be the most wonderful experience of your life.
Everyone said that if my baby got a bottle in the hospital or i gave him formula breastfeeding wouldn't work. I cried when the nurse wanted to give him and bottle because he was so hungry in the hospital. The fact was that he was a hungry baby and colostrum wasn't doing it for him. Definitely use it as a last resort but my baby had an ounce of formula here and there for the first two weeks and hasn't since.
It will definitely hurt A LOT in the beginning now matter how good the latch. The pump still hurts me by the end of the week.
One thing no one ever told me is that your arms get really sore from holding the baby constantly and I even used a boppy. When they are really little it is hard to use a pillow to support so just beware.
Just try to think positively and have a good support system. It does get easier and I love that my son and I will always have a special bond through breastfeeding.
Remember that it is normal for it to take 4-5 days for your milk to come in -most people do not need to supplement with formula if your LO seems hungry before then. Just let him/her nurse frequently to help your milk come in asap.
Also, realize that it is going to be time consuming and frustrating at times - let your DH or others take care of cooking and cleaning those first weeks and you concentrate fully on taking care of your LO.
Never ever give up on a bad day.
Keep your support system close, and don't ever be afraid to ask for help.
Stay hydrated, fed, and rested as much as possible. That will help more than you know.
Enjoy it!!! It is very stressful, but they are only little for so long. Enjoy the moments when they are BFing.
Every time you feel like quitting, tell yourself, "I'll quit tomorrow" Inevitably, whatever issue made you feel like quitting will be forgotten by tomorrow.
It does get better. It's worth it... and some day you will be sad that your BF relationship will end. I can't imagine feeding her any other way.
I'm still very new to this and by no means an expert but there are 2 things I was grateful to have already had on hand at home:
1 - a manual pump (which I confirmed was returnable if I didn't need it) to relieve the engorgement I had by day 6. I was able to pump out the milk so LO could latch and still BF. (The engorgement prevented him from being able to latch on the nipple.)
2 - Breast pads - I was leaking like crazy everywhere and it made me feel incredibly gross. I still need to change them at least twice daily.
Some sessions are super smooth and others are a fight. Enjoy the super-smooth ones when you get them, but don't set that as your expectation.
Good luck!
Oh another one that the hospital nurse told me "Giving formula doesn't mean failure to breastfeed."
DD spiked a fever in the hospital due to dehydration and needed formula supplementation for the first couple of weeks. When the nurse told me the pedi recommended formula supplementation (at around 24 hours old) I cried. She hugged me and said "honey, this isn't the end of breastfeeding, and this isn't saying you have failed. Your job right now is to feed your baby and not let your hopes and wants get in the way of that." Then we talked about how to get back to breast. After 3 weeks she was ebf and I don't regret the initial supplementation for a minute.
House / Baby blog
I can't thank you all enough for this amazing amount of information! I am starting to think I need to make DH read this, too. I know he is supportive of breastfeeding and will offer any support he can. I wonder if reading these posts will really help him see the challenges and joys ahead of me/us and give him a different level of understanding.
Thank you all again for such wonderful advice. I seriously feel so much better about breastfeeding just from this post alone!
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