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1st Trimester
Sarah10612
member
I'm torn...
Sarah10612
member
So, this is my first pregnancy...Completely unexpected. I had to have a blood test last week in order for my doctor to prescribe Provera to bring on AF...The doctor's office called in the afternoon and told me I had a positive pregnancy test. Never saw it coming....I kind of lost it...My boyfriend and I aren't even engaged yet....We were "planning" that for the next couple months and planning an October wedding...It's a second wedding for both of us so, nothing big.
My mother is a die hard Catholic and believes in marriage before babies. She has always expressed her desire for grandchildren and was even talking about it the day I found out I was pregnant. I am absolutely petrified to tell her....I know, I know...I am almost 30yo and shouldn't be afraid of my mother....Do I wait to tell her and accept whatever negative she has to say or do I wait....
I am thrilled with this pregnancy seeing as I never thought I would be able to get pregnant to begin with due to infertility issues....But, everything does happen for a reason...What do you ladies think??
Me: 29 (PCOS) DH:40 (Motility issues)
TTC#2 since 2/1/2013
2/13- Clomid 100mg/Metformin 1000mg= BFN
3/13- Clomid 100mg/Metformin 1000mg= BFN
4/14- Meet with RE, change of plans....
4/26- Begin Injectibles (Bravelle 150iu)
5/6- Switch to Menopur (225iu) & 1500mf of Metformin
5/11- Trigger
5/13- 1st IUI - BFN
5/29- BCP due to cyst on ovary
6/17- Begin injectibles (150iu Menopur)
6/26- Trigger
6/28- 2nd IUI-BFP
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt180a31.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0" /></a>
~*~Anything worth having is worth waiting for.....~*~
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Re: I'm torn...
I work with young women who are faced with unexpected pregnancy and am a Catholic and a pro-life advocate - so I can understand where you are coming from and your mom.
Without really knowing your mom and how she reacts to certain situations it is hard to tell you what it could be like when you tell her. So all you can do is be prepared for all the reactions she could have. So start with the worst and work your way to the best reaction that she could have. There is strength in being prepared and knowing how to stand your ground.
That being said, true Catholics, know that we are all human and things are going to happen that we may not think is "right", but that doesn't stop them from happening and we have to have grace and understanding when faced with those situations. I hope that you mom will be able to look beyond her ideas of how and when families happen, because this baby is supposed to be here - whether from God or simply from nature, if this baby wasn't supposed to be concieve he/she wouldn't have been. We do not know what timing this pregnancy will give us in the future, meaning, this child will be here at the exact time he or she is needed here on earth. You child is here already, there is nothing that you mom can do about that and reacting negatively to her 30 yr old daughter getting pregnant will do nothing but divide you two.
I wish the best for you and for your mom... but I do know that most times, parent's negative reactions to their daughter's pregnancies pass - esp at the birth. I am sure everything will be just fine.
If you need help planning out how to handle her possible different reactions, feel free to page or message me and we can figure that out!
CONGRATS!!!!!
I have to say I feel like I was in a similar position. My boyfriend and I have been together almost 5 years, we are almost 29 and we had been looking at engagement rings, when we found out we were expecting a baby. It was definitely unexpected and I was scared to tell my parents as well.
When we did tell my parents they couldn't be more than thrilled, they were either expecting us to tell them we were engaged or pregnant. They said they wish we were married before, but a baby is a blessing and they know how much we love each other and a wedding is in our future.We are so excited to plan for our future and our growing family.
Congratulations and good luck with everything!
::lurking from 2nd tri board::
My boyfriend and I are in a VERY similar situation except that my family isn't catholic they are Pentecostal holiness. I went ahead and charged head first into my pregnancy announcement to my parents, they were the third phone call I made after getting my BFP. (after my BFF and my cousin who is also a BFF) I just decided that the longer I waited the more freaked out about telling them I would get.
My father was up ( it was after 10pm) and after the initial shock he started crying and was very excited. My stepmom( who has been my mother in every way BUT biological) was asleep, so I called her the next day and she immediately started talking about hell and children out of wedlock...so on and so forth. She said some pretty harsh things but I was prepared to hear them bc I know her so well. By the end of the conversation she was asking about my doctor appointments and was excited. She has a pretty heart wrenching TTC story which ends in her never having a healthy viable pregnancy. To this day she has been my biggest support, she is who I call when I'm sick and she has come to all of our ultrasounds. She is also the only other person I want to have in the room besides my BF when I deliver.
So I say go ahead and bite the bullet. They may surprise you with their response or they may not. Either way though you won't have that dread in the pit of your stomach when you think about how to tell them.
Good luck!
From the little bit you said about your mom, I think the initial shock may be hard, and she may have a gut reaction and say some harsh things. That being said, once it sinks in and starts to become real, I think she's going to be head over heels with becoming a grandmother.
I think we all have gut reactions and need sometime to process.
Also, the tone you go into the conversation is going to set the tone. Don't approach it like you're apologizing for something, you're having a baby!! This is wonderful, and exciting, and she's becoming a grandmother. You're not apologizing, you're not breaking some bad news, you're announcing the upcoming birth of her grandchild! This is something to be happy and excited about, so don't tip toe.
Good luck!!