TTC After a Loss

I need to let out some sads for a minute before it gets to me.

I was just included on an email thread from a good friend announcing her pregnancy to our circle of friends. Thankfully, she told me personally about a week ago, so I wasn't completely blindsided by it, but I still can't help but feel a pang of sadness reading the rest of our friends' reactions to it. It's hard not to throw a little tantrum inside since we never got far enough to make this sort of a happy announcement to our friends. And now I am fearing the inevitable... someone is bound to crack a (well-intentioned) joke about how I'm next, or that I better hurry up, etc. Only a few people know what we've been through.

Breathe...

I'm having a good day otherwise and am really trying not to let this get to me. I know these types of posts are a dime a dozen here, but here I am. There are very few places I can whine about this IRL.

Here's some cheese to go with my whine.

image 

BFP #1 10/6/11 | EDD 6/15/12 | MMC 11/7/11 @ 8w3d | D&C 11/14/11

BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13

BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15

BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d

Just keep swimming.

Re: I need to let out some sads for a minute before it gets to me.

  • You can wine all you want!  I know exactly what that feels like (as I am sure most if not all of these women get it)!  I hope you get your happy announcement soon!  (((HUGS)))
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    TTC since 11/09; 5/11: lap (endometriosis-cleared), HSG (high pressure in tubes- cleared) and Hystoscopy (endocervical polyp - removed)

    8/5/11: BFP; 11/14/11: no heartbeat on US; 11/16/11: delivered my angel baby, 19w1d; 12/15/11: D&C

    PgAL/PAL Welcome

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  • ((hugs)) I used to be guilty of those "you're next" type comments, and now I really hate them...and I hear it all the time! I'm sorry this is putting a damper on your day.
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  • ((huge hugs))
    TTC #1 since January 2011
    BFP#1 April 12, 2011, EDD December 24, 2011, strong heart beat at 7w3d, d&c at 10w6d
    BFP#2 Oct 24, 2011, natural miscarriage, EDD unknown
    After RPL testing my losses and subsequent infertility are considered unexplained.
    Cycle #22: Femara, TI, and progesterone = BFP!! 
    BFP#3 Dec 21, 2012. Beta #1 @14dpo = 134, progesterone 67.8. Beta #2 @ 17dpo = 664! Team green, EDD 9/1/13, healthy baby boy born 9/12/13!
    imageimage  My chart.


    Congratulations to the fabulous KGS2003! Her sweet boys are here! Grow boys grow!!!
  • ((huge hugs)) Whine away.
  • I know exactly how you feel!! I had the miscarriage and it felt like my world came to a hault and then 4 weeks later my huband's BF announced that him and his wife are expecting! Talk about being blindsided! I was happy for them! However I was angry, hurt, sad and upset at the fact that it took us so long to finally get pregnant and it was gone, when it only took them 2 months!!

     It does hurt and you don't want to be the next topic of conversation about when are you going to start trying and stuff, I've already been through that. People at work think I'm crazy because they were asking about it (there are multiple pregnant woman at work) and I lost it!! I wasn't ready to explain to them what happen, but I had to finally come out and tell them!

     I'm still working through everything, but I've come to a conclusion that there will always be those days and certain things that trigger emotions!

     Keep you're head held high and know that it all happens for a reason!! Enjoy that wine & cheese!!! :)

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers PitaPata Dog tickers
  • No matter how many times you get or see a post like that it stings. As for the comments i totally understand. yesterday two people asked me when we were going to have a baby and that we better "get on it" since our 3 year wedding anniversary is next week. I know they have no way of knowing what we've been through but people need to think about their "innocent" comments.

    I hope your night improves. Big (((hugs)))

    On another note that wine and cheese looks delish! 

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  • No matter how many times you get or see a post like that it stings. As for the comments i totally understand. yesterday two people asked me when we were going to have a baby and that we better "get on it" since our 3 year wedding anniversary is next week. I know they have no way of knowing what we've been through but people need to think about their "innocent" comments.

    I hope your night improves. Big (((hugs)))

    On another note that wine and cheese looks delish! 

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  • Bump burp
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  • I am sorry. I am surrounded by pregnant women. Its really hard. 
    MC 4/09 at 6w2d 
    Rainbow Jude 
    born: 12/31/09
    Pre-E Induction at 36w4d
    11 Day NICU stay due to GBS infection

    TTC#2 10/2010
    M/C: 4/09/11 5w
    CP: 12/26/2011 
    CP: 1/28/2012 
    MMC: 4/16/2012 at 11w2d 
    Ectopic: 6/25/2012 MTX 07/03/12
    CP 11/24/2012 
    Rainbow Violet 
    born: 9/11/13

    All ALers welcome! 
  • I'm sorry. Feel free to vent as much as you need. I already had mine today!
    TTC #1 BFP 6/1/2011 blighted ovum d&c 7/15/11
    TTC #2 BFP 12/6/11 chemical pregnancy natural mc 12/18/11
    TTC #3 BFP 3/19/12. 4/9: HR of 134! **Bake Turkey, Bake!**
    **All ALs Welcome**
  • ((hugs)) At least we are all in the same boat here and you can whine and vent as much as you want! People just suck sometimes (either intentionally or unintentionally).

    Baby #3 is on the way! EDD  3/8/15
    DD1--8/29/10
    DD2--11/6/12
     
  • (Hugs) I don't care how much time passes, pg announcements still sting me every time. Vent all you need to sweets.

    My Old Blog | My Chart | TTCAL Shenanigans
    ♥BFP #1 "Spawn"- 02/23/11 | EDD: 11/01/11 | natural m/c 03/20/11 @7w5d♥
    ♥BFP #2 "Offspring"- 11/10/12 | EDD: 07/25/13 | incomplete m/c 12/14/12 @8w1d | D&C 12/21/12♥
    ♥BFP #3 "Progeny" - 02/16/15 | It's a BOY!! | EDD: 10/17/15 | BD: 10/23/15
    All AL Always Welcome

  • (((HUGS))) to you. Hope you feel better soon.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    My Blog: One Emerald
    BFP#1: 9-13-11 EDD: 5-26-12 MMC: 11-4-11 D&C: 11-8-11
    BFP#2: 7-6-12 Elizabeth Faye ("Zuzu") born 3-21-13
  • I know how you feel. It seems as if everyone around me is getting pregnant. Vent away...
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BFP 5/30/2011 Missed m/c 9/1/2011 @18wks (baby measuring 13wks 5days) D&C 09/02/2011 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BFP 1/22/2012
  • (((HUGS)))
    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
  • ((hugs)) I am sorry. I completely understand. I had my fb post all planned out, I knew how and when I would announce the gender, etc... Then my world came crashing down. Now it is almost a year later and it is so frustrating to see your friends and family get pg so easily. Thanks for the cheese though. I hope things turn around for you soon.
    BFP#1 12/18/10 EDD 8/28/11 | 2/14/11 discovered that our baby girl had anencephaly D&C 2/17/11 at 12.5 weeks | no O or AF post loss - Dx: AO + mild PCOS = secondary infertility Provera after 70 days = AF but no O | Provera + 50mg Clomid after 110 days = AF but no O 3 rounds of 100mg Clomid + Estrogen + Progesterone = mixed O results, all BFN hysteroscopy 1/6/12 - removed fibroid tissue injection cycle #1 - 75 IU follistim + ovidrel (triggered 2/9/12) + endometrin = BFP! EDD 11/3/12 | Beta @ 13dpo = 184, 17dpo = 993, 26dpo = >5000 IT'S TWIN BOYS!! Tommy and Charlie arrived on 9/10/12 after less than 6 hours of labor at 32 weeks Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • ((Huge hugs)) That really stings. No fun.
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  • ((hugs))

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

    my blog

  • It's just not fair. I'm so sorry. {hugs}
    It was a rough road, but Arlo Daniel was born April 1, 2013—and our second rainbow is due October 12, 2014.
  • imagebananers:

     And now I am fearing the inevitable... someone is bound to crack a (well-intentioned) joke about how I'm next, or that I better hurry up, etc. Only a few people know what we've been through.


    I am so sorry girl. THIS part that I quoted is the worst!!! I hate when people say that and wish they could consider the other possibilities such as m/c or IF.

    At my work, the ladies all ways get KU in groups. Right now there are 3 (I was the 4th =( but only my BFF at work knew). Anyway, I am getting so much $hit from everyone how "I'm next" and "when am I gonna get KU" and "am I KTFU" - I want to scream.

    I actually told an older lady (not old but well into her 50s) that she was next when she told me I was next (to get pg). I was obviously laughing and joking but I wanted to kinda turn it around on her. That would be my advise - any time anyone asks you when you're gonna TTC - ask them that - if they are way older than you, if they are way younger, single, or even male! See how quickly they get awkward and the convo stops right there =) 

    Hope you feel better!! 

     

    BFP#1 10/17/11, m/c due to SCH 11/21/11 @ 8w4d; BFP#2 2/26/12, baby girl arrived 11/1/12; BFP#3 12/3/13, EDD: 8/18/14.

    image

    image



  • ((Hugs))
    BFP #1 (m/c at 9 weeks, 11/11) BFP #2 (DS, 12/11/12) BFP #3 (EDD 10/8/14)
    BabyFruit Ticker

  • That's tough :(  It sounds like you have a great friend since she told you personally so you wouldn't be caught off guard.  We all here, unfortunately, know how those announcements feel.  HUGS 
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