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November 2011 Moms
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going back to work/but want to be a sahm

Sky08Sky08
in November 2011 Moms

Hello,

I just recently became a mom two months ago and have been on maternity leave since then. I am schedule to go back to work next Tuesday and I am having a hard time dealing with the idea of l leaving my son. My husband rearranged his work schedule so that he will be staying at home during the day on some of the days during the week and then my mom is going to watch my son on Wednesdays. I really feel like I should be the one staying home. My husband and I have talked about me staying at home. We have discussed that it would definitely impact our lifestyle because we wouldn''t have the money to do things for entertainment. We wouldn't be able to go out to eat whenever we wanted to go out. Even though we have worked out where I can work and my son is being cared for by my husband and my mom, I still feel like I should be the one staying home and caring for my son. Also, if I left my work, then I would lose my benefits. I guess I am feeling guilty for thinking about that aspect. How did you decide that it is better for you stay home vs work? I am having mixed feelings about what I should do. I could go part-time, but again my insurance wouldn't be as great as what it is when I am full time. It is only up to $10,000, so if I were to get pregnant again it will definitely not pay for my pregnancy. I wish they had the option at my work that if I was part-time that I can opt to pay for the full time insurance. I don't know what to do and could use some advice and encouragement. Thanks in advance

Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Clip Art Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
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Re: going back to work/but want to be a sahm

  • jkanyugijkanyugi member
    I totally understand the feeling of being torn.  What if you give yourself a chance to try working-just one day at a time.  Try going in the first day, and then see how it goes.  Then try the second day.  If its absolutely horrible then you can decide not to do it.  Sometimes in our minds things are not as bad as we imagine, and sometimes they are.  But bottom line, trust your instincts!
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  • anamandellianamandelli
    You are taking for granted the fact that a family member (your DH and mom!!!!) will be with your baby. I wish I had the same opportunity...my DD will be in day care by the time she turns 3 months...and I can't stay home (we need the income). So, enjoy the fact you have this arrangement.
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  • jennf8812jennf8812
    I feel the same way.  I have one more week and I have to go back to work.  I want to cry each time I think of it.  I love my job, hours are great (8:30 to 3), my dad is watching the baby and he is wonderful with her.   I have to go back, we can't afford all the bills if I don't, but I have been racking my brain trying to figure out how I can stay home.  But I am trying to look at the good points.  I love my job, real adult conversation, my daughter bonding with her grandfather, getting out of the house.  Good luck because I know I will need it too.
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  • colrosecolrose
    It is so hard.  I went back on a Thursday to ease back into it.  This is my first full week.  The night before I went back I was sad, my eyes welled up everytime I looked at her.  However, Sunday a whole new range of emotions hit me like a ton of bricks.  I cried to my husband that I didn't want to, kind of threw a hissy fit, but bottom line I have to work.  I have been at my job for 10 years and have great benefits so it is absolutely necessary.  Like someone else said be thankful for the arrangement you have.
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  • TMS1980TMS1980
    Last weekend was my first time back at work...I felt ok about, but I did did cry the second day. I am a nurse and had 2 12 hour shifts sat and sun....My husband watched our LO, but Monday night when he got home from work he started a discussion where he thought I should go from working every weekend to only working 1 weekend a month for now so I can keep my job..... My husband is an electrical engineer and just took over a big project at work, so he will need to work some weekends at home, plus he sad he didn't want me to be sad leaving my little guy. We are just putting our big loan repayment on hold(just paying the minimum now)...... It may be better to go back when he is 6 months old....not sure yet! I know this won't work for everyone......I do think it is nice your husband and mom can watch LO though!
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  • Sky08Sky08

    imageanamandelli:
    You are taking for granted the fact that a family member (your DH and mom!!!!) will be with your baby. I wish I had the same opportunity...my DD will be in day care by the time she turns 3 months...and I can't stay home (we need the income). So, enjoy the fact you have this arrangement.

    You know you are right.  I didn't think about that because I certainly could be in the same situation as you.  I was blinded to that and I want to thank you for making that point.  Good luck with your baby.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Clip Art Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
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  • sbelle3sbelle3

    I'm a little late on this post but I wanted to tell you my heart goes out to you. I am like you and always found it SO hard to leave my LO. I just had my third and have been in and out of the work force for the past 6 years since having my first. I completely understand where you are coming from that it won't be YOU watching your baby all day. This is your life experience too and you want to be a part of it. Soak in motherhood. At least that's how I interpret it.

    The deal breaker I see is that you carry your health insurance. That is just something you can not do without. If it is a difference between needs and wants.

    If you want it bad enough I'd say truly take a look at how you could do without a lot of wants. I have done it and honestly it was so worth it. When we needed me to go back to work I did. If you can make it on DH's pay and have all needs met (housing, food, utilities, health insurance etc.) and feel strongly about being a SAHM you might not care about not going out to eat. We cut to bare bare bones when DS1 was a baby and even though we did without a lot I feel to this day it established our family the way I wanted it. Just another perspective.

    Like I said, if it means going without health insurance than it seems like a no go and you need to focus on the positive. Maybe then part time would be a good option and you can plan waaaaaay in advance to save what you will need to have another baby. Good luck-  I know it's hard!

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