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TTC after 35
brooklynesque
member
For those of you experiencing IF -- don't you wish
brooklynesque
member
in TTC after 35
that you could see a snapshot of your siggy 2 years into the future? Even just for 30 seconds?
I was thinking about this tonight as I was lurking on SAIF. If I knew that someday an adorable-looking child or two would be appearing in my siggy these treatment cycles would almost be a pleasure.
Or, even if I just knew for sure I couldn't have bio kids, I'd accept it and move on to DE or adoption without second-guessing myself or wasting any more time.
It's the limbo that makes IF so awful. I find the emotional aspect of IF especially difficult during the 2ww. I think it's the waiting combined with the progesterone! Anyway, moody and weepy tonight. I hope there's hope for me! (And all of us.)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: For those of you experiencing IF -- don't you wish
YES!! This ... your whole post.
Good luck to you ~ I would love to see a smiley adorable baby in your sig. That would be awesome
I honestly don't know if I'd want to know. I think time and going through this is the only thing that changes my mind regarding options. A year ago I could never have imagined what would transpire in 2011 and I was very close-minded on options. That perspective has changed with this experience and I don't know that I could just move on to other options unless I had suffered the heartbreaks that I have. Does that make sense?
On another note, I have seriously been working on my siggy pictures and trying to get it all lined up correctly for like 2 hrs now.. (good thing DH is away tonight and Grady doesn't mind:-) )
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
Yes....all thing IF would be so much easier if everyone was guaranteed a + outcome. Unfortunately, the further along in this journey you get....the more reality sets in that everyone does not get a take home baby in the end. Hope turns to doubt-as you get afraid to hope because of the fear of repeated monthly letdowns.
That said.....I hope that this is your month. When will you test?
Yes! After 3 IVFs and the fourth just around the corner it would be so nice to know the end results.
It's kind of like reading the last page of the book first though. Still I'd read the last page if I could.
That does make sense. I think a lot of us end up considering options we never would have considered at the beginning. If I had a crystal ball, though, I think I could adjust my expectations fairly quickly. DH, on the other hand, doesn't want to even discuss DE and adoption until we cross that bridge. I think he's the one who'll need more time.
Love the new siggy!
Hi, happywife. I'll probably start testing the weekend after next (the 28th and 29th), 11 and 12 dpo. I'll test out my trigger beforehand as well; last time it was out of my system after 7 or 8 days. I know days 11 and 12 are still early but . . . I know myself; chances of my holding off until my beta on 1/31 are slim. ;-)
The uncertainty is worst when you're on the cusp or in the midst of investing a ton of time and physical, emotional and financial capital into the effort
.
Good luck with this cycle.
Me: 36, DH: 42
Dx: DOR and MFI
DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal
IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!
SAIFW/PAIFW
I think about that all the time - wishing I could flash forward a few years just for a minute so that I could be reassured that all this is worth it. I agree with you about the limbo.
I was lying in bed the night before my 36th bday a few weeks ago, and I told my DH, "I wish I could just wake up and be 40." I know that within 3-5 years, I'll have my kids (through whatever means) and all of this will be behind me. But right now feels like hell.
TTC #2 since July 2010
March 2012 IVF (MDL Protocol) Started stims 3/3; ER 3/11 (9R, 8M, 7F) ET 3/16 (5dt of 2 blasts graded 3AB and 3BA, 3 frosties(!!) Beta 3/26 = 386; Beta 3/28 = 827; u/s 4/11 says TWINS! Boy/Girl Twins delivered at 36 weeks 6 days
After more than 2 years of fertility treatments, FET did the trick!
IVF March 2012 - BFP! - Severe OHSS = 8 days in the hospital in kidney failure
No heartbeat at 10w6d
FET August 27,2012 = BFP!
It's a boy!
My Blog - 3 Dogs, No Baby
This! Well said, same here.
MH and I were talking about it yesterday and I thought back through my whole life and realized I had never once given up on something because I had run out of 'try'. IF can push you there, and in my case so can financial reality. It's a huge bitter pill to swallow. I hope I don't have to...
EXACTLY THIS!
I would love to know what's in my future. I really hate to think this could all be for nothing but that will be the case for some. Part of me thinks that if I had known then what I would have to go through and am still going through that I would have done things differently. I also said I would never go through IVF and here I am going through it now on this crazy emotional roller coaster!
I keep thinking back last year this same time when my husband paid to have a psychic reading for me. She said she saw me w/ one child by the end of 2013...maybe two but was not for sure. Could go either which way. I don't think that's the end all to be all but I do take some comfort in that. It may happen a way I never expected it to. Only time w/ tell...