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Resentment = feeling of guilt VENT

MAtoNCMAtoNC member
in TTC after 35

My husband just called. Back from the doctor and he has strep. I should be feeling badly for him, spoiling him, and making him feel better.

Instead, I feel resentful and mad. All signs are pointing to early ovulation this month (I've got EWCM, a temp drop, and just waiting for +OPK), and we are going to miss my fertile window. We haven't BD'd since Monday because he hasn't been feeling well, and now we won't again until at least tomorrow night. I'll probably get a +OPK tonight. Damn, damn, damn.

I feel anger. My eggs suck, so every month I lose sucks. We got pregnant in late October, but I m/c(did I mention that my eggs suck?). 

And I am on borrowed time. The fact that my husband put a "1 year" cap on trying which is up in September, makes me irrationally resentful that he is taking a month away from me by being sick.

The poor man is sick!!  I'm feeling sorry for myself, and meanwhile he is the one who needs TLC. Have I have lost my ever-loving mind?!! What the h*ll is wrong with me? I think I was short with him on the phone too because I wanted to cry.

Vent over. 

Married 4/12/08 DS born 11/17/2009 via c-section at 39 weeks. 11/12/2011 BFP #2!! m/c 7w5d. 2/28/2012 BFP #3 Beta #1-12dpo = 18; Beta #2-16dpo = 185; Beta #3-18dpo = 505. EDD 11/10/2012. Ectopic discovered at 5w4d. D&C followed by methotrexate.
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Re: Resentment = feeling of guilt VENT

  • AddictedToLipBalmAddictedToLipBalm member

    You've come to the right place. No judgment here. Your reaction, while unfair to dh, is completely understandable. It comes from pressure + stress + hormones + your situation. 

    Make your man some tea and soup, and tuck him in with lots of warm blankets. Maybe he'll feel well enough to bd in the next day or two when you're ready. Even if not, taking good care of him will make you both feel better, and really, the big picture is all about taking care of each other.

     :) 

    Pregnancy Ticker

    BabyFruit Ticker

    Beat stage 4 Hodgkins Lymphoma May 2011, YEAH!!!

    BFP 3/30/12, with fingers and toes all crossed.

    AMA (37) + GD = HR, grr.

    EDD 12.12.12

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  • Country Girl in the CityCountry Girl in the City

    You have NOT lost your mind.  It is a normal reaction.  Last February my DH had knee surgery.  They told me before the surgery that he would be back on his feet in a few days.  After the surgery they told me that it was much worse than they thought and he would be in bed for a few weeks and would take over 6 weeks to be back in normalish shape.  I was really angry at both the doctor and DH.  I was not a good wife.  I feel bad but in the end he understands the pressure that I was and am under.

    Don't feel guilty just tell him how you feel.

    BFP on IVF #2 6/29/2012. Beta #1 7/3 = 522; Beta #2 = 1180; Beta #3 = 6491 image BabyFruit Ticker
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  • Mrs.McIrishMrs.McIrish member
    imageAddictedToLipBalm:

    You've come to the right place. No judgment here. Your reaction, while unfair to dh, is completely understandable. It comes from pressure + stress + hormones + your situation. 

    Make your man some tea and soup, and tuck him in with lots of warm blankets. Maybe he'll feel well enough to bd in the next day or two when you're ready. Even if not, taking good care of him will make you both feel better, and really, the big picture is all about taking care of each other.

     :) 

    I agree totally with PP.  This stuff makes you feel stuff you won't normally feel. Don't beat yourself up.

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

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  • MAtoNCMAtoNC member

    Thanks so much for the replies. I don't feel so crazy now. So thank you thank you.

    I am stationed in the guest room tonight so that we try to keep me from catching this. DH is in our bedroom, and we are both watching American Idol texting and calling each other on the phone to talk -- like we did when we were dating long distance....

     

    Married 4/12/08 DS born 11/17/2009 via c-section at 39 weeks. 11/12/2011 BFP #2!! m/c 7w5d. 2/28/2012 BFP #3 Beta #1-12dpo = 18; Beta #2-16dpo = 185; Beta #3-18dpo = 505. EDD 11/10/2012. Ectopic discovered at 5w4d. D&C followed by methotrexate.
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  • XV11StarXV11Star member

    sigh... totally understand where you are coming from!   I used to read posts on boards a year or more ago and think "man, I will never be like that" and sure enough, I HAVE been like "that"... it's humbling. Embarrassed

    It's normal, and you love your husband!  Good luck to you both :)

    <a href="http://s164.photobucket.com/albums/u17/SossityG/?action=view
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  • XV11StarXV11Star member

    sigh... totally understand where you are coming from!   I used to read posts on boards a year or more ago and think "man, I will never be like that" and sure enough, I HAVE been like "that"... it's humbling. Embarrassed

    It's normal, and you love your husband!  Good luck to you both :)

    <a href="http://s164.photobucket.com/albums/u17/SossityG/?action=view
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  • MelleTXMelleTX member
    imageMAtoNC:

    Thanks so much for the replies. I don't feel so crazy now. So thank you thank you.

    I am stationed in the guest room tonight so that we try to keep me from catching this. DH is in our bedroom, and we are both watching American Idol texting and calling each other on the phone to talk -- like we did when we were dating long distance....

     

    Very sweet! 

    Single Mother by Choice. Life didn't work out the way I planned so I did it on my own. IUI #s 1-3, unmedicated = BFN, IUI #s 4-6, 50mg Clomid, Ovidrel = BFN IVF #1: 23R, 20M, 17F. 5 day transfer 2 blasts. 2 Snowbabies BFP 6dp5dt, Beta #1 7dp5dt = 58, Beta #2 9dp5dt = 114, Beta #3 10dp5dt = 187 1st Ultrasound = 5/3, not much to see yet. 2nd Ultrasound = 5/17, TWINS!!! Hospital Bed Rest at 32 weeks due to pre-ecclampsia and severe edema. Audrey Grace, 5lbs9oz, & Lydia Louise, 6lbs, born via emergency c-section on 12/6/12 at 36w1d My IVF Journey
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  • NewMrs07NewMrs07 member

    Every month something happens. Last month my parents were in town so we only BD'ed once. Once at 41 is not going to cut it. This past cycle we only BD'ed once too b/c DH was sick. So I hear you. I feel that every month that goes by is one less chance I get to have a 2nd child.

    Hang in there and just get the poor man some chicken soup. You don't want him to think that he's just a sperm donor, lol. Mine was starting to complain about that so I had to relax a bit, not that it's easy to do! Honestly, I think my DH is afraid of sex now b/c of pressure to perform, dealing with my bad mood when AF comes, etc. I get it, but how can you not be that way?

    Me: 44 DH: 42. DS born healthy at 40 weeks 8/24/09. TTC since then with no luck or ART. Surprise BFP 8/6/14... MMC @ 8 weeks 4 days... Miss you everyday sweet baby angel.
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