spending the night(s) away from kids

lisamoe · January 2012

DH is in a wedding in Chicago in May. DS won't even be 10 months old. I've never been away from him and honestly, really don't want to be. I'm not crazy about going to the wedding in the first place and not to mention the money for my flight, etc. My question is, would you feel horrible about not going to a wedding (that he's in) with your DH? I feel bad, because I know he will be ok with whatever decision I make, but I'm having a guilt complex. WWYD?

angelakh · January 2012

I would stay home. Odds are you won't enjoy yourself anyway since you will be going crazy with worry - or at least I would. The only way I would go is if you feel like you and DH need a little alone one on one time.

eaglesfan700 · January 2012

I would go, but H and I left DS when he was 6 months old to go to Chicago for a long weekend just because we wanted to go and it was AWESOME

Do what you are comfortable with. But I have to be honest, if I were your H I would be hurt. I just think it is important if you have the opportunity to get away with just your H (provided you have very trusted childcare) that you take it.

Hope2Have · January 2012

I would stay home. Especially if you didn't even want to go anyway...

Mom2Mack1 · January 2012

I would go but you should do what you feel comfortable with. Don't spend the $$ if you know you won't have a good time.

kmc217 · January 2012

I would stay home. But I'm a homebody at heart and do not like leaving my babies overnight. I've actually never left DD2 overnight yet and DD1 I didn't until I was in the hospital having DD2 (she was 2). DH would be fine with going without me... he is the social half of our marriage and has gone away alone several times (to visit his family, on fishing trips etc).

NKR717 · January 2012

I just want to get this straight, your DS and your DH are in the wedding? If so I would definitely go withought a second thought.

JOEBunny · January 2012

I would stay home, especially if money was an issue, and I didn't really want to go. I turned down going to my friends wedding in August in New Hampshire because as much as I would love to be there, it was going to be $1,500 for a 3 day weekend (only hotel in the town was $300 a night!) and DH would have to stay home with the kids. For $1,500 the kids and I could have a lot of fun over the summer doing driving distance trips. It just didn't seem like the best way to spend the money. Now if it where 2 hours away, and I just had hotel to pay for and I could share a room with someone, then I would go in a heartbeat. My friend completely understood and I can give him a really nice wedding present!

AgrippaRidesAgain · January 2012

eaglesfan700:
I would go, but H and I left DS when he was 6 months old to go to Chicago for a long weekend just because we wanted to go and it was AWESOME

Do what you are comfortable with. But I have to be honest, if I were your H I would be hurt. I just think it is important if you have the opportunity to get away with just your H (provided you have very trusted childcare) that you take it.

This, although it was a wedding in SC when DS was 13 months old. I was nervous, but the time alone as adults with DH was awesome. I didn't even know that we needed that time until we did it.

ali-1411 · January 2012

I would stay home for money reasons. I skipped DH's brother's wedding last year, he went alone. It would have cost a fortune otherwise.

I love getting away from the kids, though. We'll leave them overnight every chance we get, and it isn't often,

ktsnshn · January 2012

I agree with Eagles. I would go. However, I left DS overnight with my parents at 5 months because I wanted to have some time with my DH. I cried once, but otherwise it was ok because I trust my parents to take excellent care of him. We have since left him overnight many times because it is good for our marriage and we have really trustworthy parents on both sides. If you have someone you trust, I would go. If you don't have anyone you trust and you would really be miserable don't go.

Mc_Newlywed · January 2012

Do you have any younger cousins that could travel with you and stay in the room with your son as a babysitter? Then you could go to the wedding AND stay with your son. Or maybe the bride/groom has younger cousins who you'd trust to do this. I mean, the baby would likely sleep much of the evening anyway.

dsmithplus2 · January 2012

I would stay home. If your not comfortable leaving LO at not even 10 months for a few days, I wouldn't even give myself the extra stress of worrying the whole entire time your gone. If your husband doesn't mind, stay home and let him know why. Sounds like he will be okay with it.

kagl08 · January 2012

I would go if you can afford it. I know my DH would be upset (not with me, just upset) if I didn't go. Plus having alone time with my DH is few and far between so I would be jumping on that! It's always hard leaving your baby for the 1st time but it's almost always worth it IMO.

kate3636 · January 2012

I would go. I have been leavind DD with my parents since she was 3 months old. It is so nice to have a break for just one night. She loves staying at my parents house now, we have left her for long weekends and on average she stays there one night every three weeks or so cause she has so much fun. Maybe you could try a trial run for one night some time between now and May? That way the weekend won't be the first time. You will be amazed and how refreshed you will feel after spending some alone time with DH.

kate3636 · January 2012

I would go. I have been leaving DD with my parents since she was 3 months old. It is so nice to have a break for just one night. She loves staying at my parents house now, we have left her for long weekends and on average she stays there one night every three weeks or so cause she has so much fun. Maybe you could try a trial run for one night some time between now and May? That way the weekend won't be the first time. You will be amazed and how refreshed you will feel after spending some alone time with DH.

Sara Scissors · January 2012

I wouldn't waste the money. It sounds like if you went you wouldn't have a good time and you'd just be worried about LO the whole time. Sounds like DH will be fine.

maplehearts · January 2012

I wouldn't go beause it sounds like you wont have a good time. Do whatever makes you feel most comfortable. That said, I'm dying to go on a weekend trip with my husband in a few months and my youngest will be 7 months then.

kcisthebombdotcom · January 2012

I would go. I put a lot of importance on getting nights alone with DH. It rekindles our relationship and recharges our batteries with regards to taking care of needy little people. I don't think it's ever easy the first time you leave LO no matter what. I also have family in the area to help out so I know my kids are in good hands. I might have a different perspective if I would have to find a sitter.

Obviously you're not me though, so you have to do what you feel comfortable with.

babypuplove · January 2012

You should go. I was extremely nervous the first time we left our baby with our parents overnight, but after the initial worry, I realized that it was a win win for everyone. They had fun quality time with their grandparents, and we had time away to recharge and just be a couple. We Skyped a few times, which helped. Now we leave them for one to four nights a few times a year and it is amazing. You won't regret it.

notkateanymore · January 2012

I would go, you will have fun when you get there. And you'll get to sleep in!

lisamoe · January 2012

Thanks for the advice ladies. I'm still on the fence. I would LOVE the time with DH but, the majority of the time, DH will be involved with wedding party stuff, so don't know how much I will be with him anyway. Lots to think about!

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