Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: PT for help with gross motor skills?
Been away from theBump for a while, getting active again for all the good advice
We did and it was the best decision ever. My guys went from very limited mobility at 9 months to crawling, pulling up and cruising by 11 months. They do PT 30 mins twice a week.
My advice would be don't wait. The older she gets, the further behind she will fall because these skills (especially crawling) help build muscles necessary for future milestones (pulling up and walking). Our PT said it is much easier to work with kids under 18 months than kids over 18 months because they are still growing so quickly.
If I were you I would get her evaluated by a PT, either through your state early intervention program or through a private therapist.
If she is the same as my guys, she may benefit from a really simple exercise as a starting point. When she is in a sitting position, offer her little blocks or small toys she can hold in her hands. Hold the toys just out of her reach so that she needs to kind of lean forward (or to the side) to get them. This will help improve her stability and build the muscles that will eventually help her in transitioning from different positions.
Andrew had PT for the first year, and then again from 18m - 3 years (ongoing, he is 3 now.)
Am I correct in thinking that your LO is only 7 months adjusted? In which case, I really think you are worrying a bit too soon.
I am ALL FOR being proactive, but 7 months adjusted isn't very old to be worrying about some of these things IMO.
FWIW Andrew (26-weeker) at at 7 1/2 adjusted with therapy, army crawled at 9 months adjusted with therapy. He did walk late but it turned out to be because he needed orthotics.
Elliott (35-weeker) is 7 months adjusted and he can prop sit and he can sit without holding on very briefly before he slowly falls. He recently figured out how to roll everywhere. He does not get on 4-point, he doesn't stand.
They told us not to use a bouncer (or anything like that) with Andrew. IN therapy they did lots of tummy time, putting him positions that he had to get out of on his own, not running to his rescue when he got "stuck" and let him fuss and figure it out. Lots and lots of tummy time and time in the Bumbo, which he hated.
Elliott does use a jumperoo but I think it hinders development as upper body should develop before legs. There is a reason for a natural progression.
It sounds like Elliott and your LO are in about the same spot, same adjusted age. He is also pretty big for his age too, 18 lb 10 oz, so I think that makes it hard on him...he has a lot of weight to lug around, and his personality is laid back.
Andrew's PT was watching Elliott for me, I know he's on the slower side of average for gross motor but she agreed he was progressing OK and did not need therapy. She said to keep doing tummy time.
If I don't see a lot of progress in sitting in the next month with him, he will be 8 adjusted, then we will consider an EI. I would give your LO a little more time.
Thanks for the info, ladies!
Lemen, that makes me feel better. The doc just threw me by talking about PT, I really hadn't thought that she was lagging behind. I mean, she sits really well - she can sit up for an hour or longer just playing with toys, without needing to rest on her hands or anything, so that seems pretty great to me. And lately she can stand for a good five minutes while holding onto something. Sometimes I feel like she can do things but just doesn't think to try yet (like pulling herself up). And I really don't want to put any pressure on her, she seems to be doing so well on her own.
Thanks much
Been away from theBump for a while, getting active again for all the good advice