Anyone skip over IVF completely?

caliblondieus · January 2012

Hi all:

Thanks for such a welcoming board. I'm an avid poster on a million different sites but first posting here.

I wondered if there was anyone out there that went right from failure in the "naturally trying" department (or anything not IVF) and went right to adoption? As you can see by siggy, I have three failed pregnancies but I'm trying to figure out whether I even try IVF at this point or go straight to adoption?

I'm very lucky in that I have wonderful personal resources in both areas so I have good information but I still can't decide. My friend who is a huge adoption advocate and designs websites for couples who are adopting of course argues that with IVF you could pay and not get a baby but with adoption you pay and get a baby!

If you were in this position previously, how did you decide?

Krista

163million · January 2012

We came from a different situation...I had a biological son two years ago and have been suffering chronic pain ever since due to connective tissue and neurological pain issues in my hip/pelvic area related to the pregnancy. So we adopted a little boy instead of getting pregnant again - they are 2 yrs and 4 months apart. There is nothing second best about adoption - he is our son in every way like his brother. I would recommend adopting and definitely becoming a parent! I heard someone ask once, "Is what you really want to preserve your genetic material? Or is what you really want to be a parent?" Babies all over the world and right here in the U.S. NEED families. Good luck deciding!

sassydevil83 · January 2012

We went right into adoption after trying multiple drugs with no help at all.

artletzler · January 2012

We did a couple of IUI cycles and multiple clinics cycles - no luck. We were faced w/ the Dr. pushing us to IVF due to low morph & count. After some soul searching we both felt that IVF was just not for us. After researching adoption we both felt at ease and hopeful again. Adoption is not an easy route by any means but we feel it's the route for us!

Good luck to you in your soul searching!

amm78 · January 2012

We lost 2 pregnancies... one ectopic and one suspected ectopic. My doctor wanted to check my tubes with a hysterosalpingogram (HSG). That test was so incredibly painful that I said to myself, right on the table, that I wasn't going to put myself through any more medical tests/interventions/whatever in order to start a family. I want to be a mom, and adoption will get me there. Besides, pregnancy is really scary for me now.

ESD_0707 · January 2012

We are "skipping" IVF because we aren't comfortable with that method. We have tried naturally, and since we keep miscarrying, we are realizing that adoption is the best plan for us.

HannaB · January 2012

amm78:
We lost 2 pregnancies... one ectopic and one suspected ectopic. My doctor wanted to check my tubes with a hysterosalpingogram (HSG). That test was so incredibly painful that I said to myself, right on the table, that I wasn't going to put myself through any more medical tests/interventions/whatever in order to start a family. I want to be a mom, and adoption will get me there. Besides, pregnancy is really scary for me now.

Our story is similar. We had one BFP on our 11th cycle, but it was ectopic. I had a myomectomy 6 months after that and had an HSG 6 months after that before we started what was to be our first medicated cycle (IUI). The HSG showed a lot of scarring, and I was just DONE.

We started the adoption process the next month and our son was born 4 months later!

Joe'sSweetPea · January 2012

We skipped any kind of medical intervention, with the exception of a vasectomy reversal. We did not feel that any medical intervention was right for us; our beliefs are that if it is meant to be, we will be parents of a precious child though adoption or biologically. But being that I have never been pregnant in nearly 5 years of trying....... You get the idea!

Welcome to an awesome board!

sw_in_kc · January 2012

We did 3 IUI's and then it was deciding to adopt or IVF. We chose adoption. We decided that if we were going to be paying roughly $10+k, we wanted a child in the end and not a 50/50 chance. That was our opinion.

We were fortunate and we didn't have any failed matches or lost any money in the adoption process. Our BM expenses were only $53.

Dr.Loretta · January 2012

I'm sorry for your losses.

We were in a situation similar to yours in some ways. I had 3 m/c's, all early. 2 were with no medical intervention, one was on Clomid. IVF was presented as an option by 2 different REs. We had excellent health insurance coverage that also covered IF treatment.

We opted out of IVF for a variety of reasons. They ranged from religious objections, to anxiety attacks over treatments, to not knowing if an IVF pregnancy would go past a few weeks, given my history. And at that point, I just wanted to be a mom. I didn't care if a child actually came out of me. I started researching and got really excited. It took DH about 6 months to be comfortable with the idea of adoption.

We got the ball rolling once we sold a rental property so we could afford the fees. 10 months later our daughter arrived.

cadgirl · January 2012

We have been trying naturally for over three years and in that time only one pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. I tried clomid with no success. Our diagnosis is unexplained infertility, so who knows, maybe after 40 some odd cycles of actively trying, I might get pregnant someday. But I'm not holding out hope.

Our main thoughts were that there are so many children who need families, that perhaps God hasn't let us have bio kids so that we are open to foster/adopt.

smash_effect · January 2012

We did injections and IUIs but never felt comfortable beyond that. Our RE felt that we'd be extremely successful at IVF (I have PCOS and had would likely produce tons of follies) but, as a couple, our hearts just weren't there. So we moved right on to adoption and are so gad we did. We adore our son to pieces (and waiting not-so-patiently for #2).

Jenn is Silly · January 2012

Yes. Regardless of if we do IF treatments or not we won't be doing IVF. We support people who chose to, but it's not something we feel is right for us.

farmweddinggirl · January 2012

We had some failed IUIs, after which I had exploratory surgery that didn't give us any answers. Our RE suggested IVF next, and we both immediately knew we'd rather adopt instead. Our son was born exactly two weeks after our profile went live. Best decision we've ever made! (Which is not to say I don't still have moments of grief over the fact that I'll most likely never give birth myself.)

MandertheDB · January 2012

Joe'sSweetPea:
We skipped any kind of medical intervention, with the exception of a vasectomy reversal. We did not feel that any medical intervention was right for us; our beliefs are that if it is meant to be, we will be parents of a precious child though adoption or biologically. But being that I have never been pregnant in nearly 5 years of trying....... You get the idea!

Welcome to an awesome board!

This, almost exactly! Except no reversal and we tried for about 4 years. We just decided that if it doesn't happen without help, then maybe we should take it as a sign we're being pointed in a different direction. (Not saying that's true for everyone, we just weren't motivated to do anything medicated, others are and that's what works for them! Plus we would have to pay all OOP and that's not something we wanted to do right now either) We're also doing foster/foster to adopt instead of straight adoption.

ps my DH's name is Joe too! Lol

riderpunk · January 2012

Sorry for your losses.

Due to a horrible accident early 20's, left me with quite a few medical issues that would be life threatening if I did get pregnant. So, for us it was a no brainier,in the end we will be parents through adoption.

babywisher · January 2012

smash_effect:
We did injections and IUIs but never felt comfortable beyond that. Our RE felt that we'd be extremely successful at IVF (I have PCOS and had would likely produce tons of follies) but, as a couple, our hearts just weren't there. So we moved right on to adoption and are so gad we did. We adore our son to pieces (and waiting not-so-patiently for #2).

This exactly!

erinmc1 · January 2012

We did 2 rounds of clomid before being referred to a RE. I had never ovulated, so I was pretty shocked to learn after a full fertility work-up, that in spite of moderate endo, I'd be able to one day ovulate with surgery. But my hubby was the real problem. The RE tried to persuade us to go for IVF for management of my endo, but he casually mentioned that our chances were REALLY slim due to hubby's numbers.

We had agreed early on that we were never going to take extreme measures to conceive. Like some of the other ladies, the HSG and all the other tests were so invasive and painful, I cried from relief when the RE gave me hubby's diagnosis, because we had reached the point where we could stop trying and focus solely on adoption, which I'd always felt really comfortable with.

sarahtoledo · January 2012

Thank you so much for posting! We've been struggling for a long time with this, and both feel like IVF is not for us. But doctors and IF patients often make me feel like I'm a weirdo.

EclairAngst · January 2012

We also had three early m/c and during that, the only medical interventions we were blood thinners and progesterone to try and get them to stick. After that, we visited an RE and had a pretty solid protocol in place for basically the same medications, just timed differently than I'd been told by the OB. When the time came to put the protocol into action, the risks of another m/c just didn't weigh out in favor of trying again for a biological child. Even with the protocol, a pregnancy would never be without the risk of m/c and we didn't feel like we needed to put ourselves through that risk again when adoption already felt like the best option for us.

bumpuser794640 · January 2012

We have MFI, DH had varicocele surgery to try and improve his numbers, but we saw only slight improvement. IUI wouldn't be an option, and we've decided to skip the IVF roller coaster in favor of the adoption roller coaster instead. It's a personal decision, and taking some time to make sure you're choosing the right path for YOU is important. Good luck with your decision!

texasnails22 · January 2012

We skipped IUI and IVF completely and went straight into adoption.

lolo2011 · January 2012

We did clomid, 3 IUIs and 3 IVF cycles with no pregnancy. We moved to adoption and I got one of those "start the adoption process and you will get pregnant" pregnancies?. It led to miscarriage and I know I was not meant to carry a baby. (I know it took a long time.) We have our beautiful baby boy that could not be any ours if I baked him myself. In fact, I could not imagine a more perfect baby. I really wish I went strait to adoption and saved all the trouble, time and money (oh, and pain). Adoption is much more of a sure thing. Good luck!

cogbot · January 2012

Yes, My DH and I decided early on that IVF was not an option for us. After several rounds of clomid, lupron, and IUI's we were told IVF was our next step. I started calling adoption agencies as soon as we received this news.

shuminski · January 2012

We did. I had a hysterectomy in 2006. Never did fertility drugs because I had endo really bad and didn't want it to spread.

We have been homestudy approved for a year.We recently decided to work with a national agency as well.

Your not weird.. It is a personal decision and one that you have to be comfortable with.

morgan2B · January 2012

Yes - off of birth control for 3+ years, had a lapro, clomid, saw a fert specialist, etc.
IUI + clomid would have been next then IVF and we decided for discontinue fertility efforts.

We are now on the foster > adopt path.

JMay · January 2012

sarahtoledo:
Thank you so much for posting! We've been struggling for a long time with this, and both feel like IVF is not for us. But doctors and IF patients often make me feel like I'm a weirdo.

This. Did natural treatments for 2 years followed by a year of IF testing and treatment with an RE. Skipping IVF because of personal/religious preferences (this is just what works for us - I still think its a wonderful option for some couples). Like Sarah, I get some trouble, mostly from one friend and one family member, who think I'm crazy for not trying - they think I should "stop at nothing" to get number 2. The way I see it, I'm not stopping, I'm just going down another path, and I know my child is waiting. That brings such peace to my heart - much better than the emotional and hormonal roller coaster of more treatment!

Michelle3081 · January 2012

We skipped IVF completely. We want to start a family and adoption is our best option.

JodyA118 · January 2012

Never did any medication whatsoever. When things weren't going as we hoped...went right into adoption planning. So , now we wait!

angandvance · January 2012

At this point in our journey, IVF is just not an option. We've thought about adopting an embryo leftover from someone else's unwanted supply, but we do not plan on doing IVF. We feel like if we start it, we'll have to use ALL the embryos. We feel like creating embryos and not giving them a chance to live is equal to abortion. (No judgement. Just our beliefs.) IVF is also extremely expensive and we're just not willing to spend money on such a risk. We're not necessarily giving up on TTC, but we are looking into adoption. We knew before we even TTC that we wanted to adopt. (All 6 of my hubs siblings are adopted. He's the only bio child.) Anyway, to answer your question, we'll be skipping IVF.

Want a personalized experience?

Anyone skip over IVF completely?

Re: Anyone skip over IVF completely?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards