S/O How big is your house? Sorry, long.

elizabethtaylor944 · January 2012

DH and I have lived in our 500 sq ft studio apt for almost four years. We have a storage unit that holds our bikes, out of season clothes, etc. We're actually very comfortable here and we've learned how to be together without constantly interacting so I never feel as though I'm lacking in alone time. The layout is great, we have a big kitchen, a nice bathroom, and our living/sleeping space in a big rectangle that we've separated with heavy canvas curtains.

I'm babbling about all of this because we are TTC and plan to stay in this apartment after the baby is born until he or she is 6 months or a year old, and then we are moving to the Midwest to be closer to my family. How much time am I going to spend pulling my hair out from living with DH and a baby and all the baby's stuff in a small space? Realistically, what are the challenges you foresee? I'm one of 7 kids, and DH is one of 8, so kids having their own space is not a priority for either one of us. I'm thinking more along the lines of never being able to watch TV again for fear the baby will wake up, etc.

I realize many people would sooner jump out a window than do this, but we don't see the point in spending thousands of dollars to move to a slightly bigger apartment only to move again a few months later. Thoughts?

cotner · January 2012

The baby stuff is big, but just be aware when you are selecting items. The noise shouldn't be an issue. LOs learn to adjust to the noise level. You may actually be doing yourself a favor. My Sil can't do a thing with her kids asleep. I can vacuum since i have done it from day one during naptime.

Excitedtostart · January 2012

Every family in NYC can't be wrong.

Our apartment was about 750 SF, and we would have lived there forever had we not had to move for jobs. The layout was okay, but the kitchen was terrible, and the ceiling leaked. I still would have stayed.

I don't think having kids means you need a huge house and a yard. Yes, you need to be creative, but it's possible and it happens all the time - says the girl who doesn't have kids.

Some of my friends can leave their strollers in the lobby/entryway, others can't. Several of my friends don't actually own strollers, they just baby wear. If you're using the subway to get everywhere, a stroller can be more of a PITA than it's worth.

Most don't get a high chair, they get this thing: https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Healthy-Deluxe-Booster-Green/dp/B0000DEW8N

You don't need a exersaucer or a swing, and Ikea makes some pretty low profile cribs.

I wouldn't leave a perfect space until the space was no longer perfect for us.

cookie_queen · January 2012

There are lots of baby gear pieces that do double duty (ie a swing that can convert to a bouncer) and you don't need a lot. you'll be fine!

elizabethtaylor944 · January 2012

Excitedtostart:
Every family in NYC can't be wrong.

Our apartment was about 750 SF, and we would have lived there forever had we not had to move for jobs. The layout was okay, but the kitchen was terrible, and the ceiling leaked. I still would have stayed.

I don't think having kids means you need a huge house and a yard. Yes, you need to be creative, but it's possible and it happens all the time - says the girl who doesn't have kids.

Some of my friends can leave their strollers in the lobby/entryway, others can't. Several of my friends don't actually own strollers, they just baby wear. If you're using the subway to get everywhere, a stroller can be more of a PITA than it's worth.

Most don't get a high chair, they get this thing: https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Healthy-Deluxe-Booster-Green/dp/B0000DEW8N

You don't need a exersaucer or a swing, and Ikea makes some pretty low profile cribs.

I wouldn't leave a perfect space until the space was no longer perfect for us.

I will probably just wear the baby for as long as I can, provided he or she doesn't throw a fit of hysteria at the sight of a carrier. We actually have a little entry hall that could house a compact stroller pretty darn easily. I think it might be a good thing that we're in a small space because it will cut down on the amount of stuff we can allow to accumulate.

I don't want to leave this apartment. It's so cheap and comfortable and in a great location. We also have a landlord we love and have a great relationship with. I know how rare that it.

You ladies are amazing. I admit I was a little scared I'd get flamed for even thinking of procreating without owning a house. This is all really helpful and reassuring. Thank you!

nonoemily · January 2012

My guy and I lived and traveled in an RV for a year together before we had our baby and I actually really like living in small spaces. It forces you to be really specific about the things you include in your life and the things you realize you don't really need.

When your baby is little, how much stuff does it really need? We decided to only buy the things we need for each phase of the baby's life and immediately donate away the things the baby has outgrown. My baby will be here any day now and my house does not look like BRU threw up inside. I cleaned out a dresser drawer for the baby clothes and I got a rock N play, which folds up (sort of) flat when not in use.

You like the way you live now. If it's not broken, don't fix it.

Excitedtostart · January 2012

None of my friends blog, but I would try to find some NYC or Chicago blogs that talk about their lives in a small space. I've been trying to think of what my friends do for their kids. I think you just get really creative with space and storage, and you probably will end up with 1/4 of what you "need" to have a baby. Like most other stuff in a small city space, I would say don't get it until you need it.

I don't know if you're in NYC or not, but I am so sad that we won't be raising kids in the city. Apartments are spall, yes, but the city has so much more to offer than the suburbs. It is an amazing place to live. I wouldn't leave the city just to buy a house in the suburbs because it seems like something you should do.

MrsSparklesMcGee · January 2012

Just my own two cents - we are living in a small condo (<1000 sq ft, 2 bd/2ba, awkward layout) and we are bursting at the seams. Thankfully MD isn't mobile yet, but she's getting really close. Honestly, some of it depends on baby's temperament. I was absolutely in the camp before she was born of "baby will get used to the noise, we'll only buy the bare minimum essentials, etc., etc." Then, she was born.

I (obviously) love her to death, but she is very, very high maintenance. From day 1, we tried to go about our business and make whatever noise was necessary to get her used to it, but she never adjusted. To this day she's a terrible sleeper and the slightest noise wakes her. This makes it really difficult to make dinner after she goes to sleep, make a phone call during a nap, even carry on a whispered conversation with MH. We didn't buy a bouncer or a swing initially, but realized after awhile that we desperately needed ANYTHING that would stop the crying for a few minutes or help her go to/stay a sleep. Our apartment has since been overrun with stuff we said we would never buy. And trust me, we tried everything we could to avoid it. Also, babywearing is great, but my daughter has gotten heavy enough that it's really hard for me to run many errands while wearing her and carrying my diaper bag. I still do it, but it's a challenge.

All this is to say, you might get lucky and have an incredibly laid-back kid. Hell, you might not and still be able to make it through 6 or so months. I'll just end this by saying, we cannot possibly move soon enough.

elizabethtaylor944 · January 2012

nonoemily:
My guy and I lived and traveled in an RV for a year together before we had our baby and I actually really like living in small spaces. It forces you to be really specific about the things you include in your life and the things you realize you don't really need.
When your baby is little, how much stuff does it really need? We decided to only buy the things we need for each phase of the baby's life and immediately donate away the things the baby has outgrown. My baby will be here any day now and my house does not look like BRU threw up inside. I cleaned out a dresser drawer for the baby clothes and I got a rock N play, which folds up (sort of) flat when not in use.
You like the way you live now. If it's not broken, don't fix it.

Wise words, I couldn't agree more!

elizabethtaylor944 · January 2012

Mrs.SparklesMcGee:
Just my own two cents - we are living in a small condo (<1000 sq ft, 2 bd/2ba, awkward layout) and we are bursting at the seams. Thankfully MD isn't mobile yet, but she's getting really close. Honestly, some of it depends on baby's temperament. I was absolutely in the camp before she was born of "baby will get used to the noise, we'll only buy the bare minimum essentials, etc., etc." Then, she was born.
I (obviously) love her to death, but she is very, very high maintenance. From day 1, we tried to go about our business and make whatever noise was necessary to get her used to it, but she never adjusted. To this day she's a terrible sleeper and the slightest noise wakes her. This makes it really difficult to make dinner after she goes to sleep, make a phone call during a nap, even carry on a whispered conversation with MH. We didn't buy a bouncer or a swing initially, but realized after awhile that we desperately needed ANYTHING that would stop the crying for a few minutes or help her go to/stay a sleep. Our apartment has since been overrun with stuff we said we would never buy. And trust me, we tried everything we could to avoid it. Also, babywearing is great, but my daughter has gotten heavy enough that it's really hard for me to run many errands while wearing her and carrying my diaper bag. I still do it, but it's a challenge.
All this is to say, you might get lucky and have an incredibly laid-back kid. Hell, you might not and still be able to make it through 6 or so months. I'll just end this by saying, we cannot possibly move soon enough.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I try not to be one of those "when my baby comes along, I'll do X, Y and Z" because there is just no way to know. Having kids is always a gamble, so we'll just have to roll the dice and see what happens. We do have the flexibility to move on short notice so I'm grateful for that.

ETS, city-living blogs is a great idea. We live in Brooklyn in a very family-friendly neighborhood. I used to think there was no way I'd raise a kid in the city, but the more we thought about it the more appealing the idea became.

Excitedtostart · January 2012

I miss my neighborhood in Brooklyn SO much. SO MUCH.

danlexi04 · January 2012

People do it all the time whether it's because they want to or can't afford anything else. I grew up with just my mom in a one bedroom condo with a loft, the loft was my room. It seemed like more then enough space for me growing up. My neighbors had four kids in the same sized condo and they somehow made it work.

With that being said we lived in a decent sized 2 bedroom townhouse until after the twins were born. By the time they were starting to crawl I was pulling my hair out because I felt so claustrophobic. We now live in a house with about 3000sq ft and I love it.

octbridemaryland · January 2012

I've never posted on this board although I lurk here.

If I were in your shoes, I would totally stick it out for 6 months. Baby stuff is bulky, but you can do without A LOT of it. Try to separate the babies sleeping area from the living area as best you can. Sometimes you just have to get creative. Also, are you planning on staying at home with the baby after he/she is born? If you aren't, having a small space may not bother you as much as it would if you were home all the time.

Good luck!

elizabethtaylor944 · January 2012

octbridemaryland:
I've never posted on this board although I lurk here.
If I were in your shoes, I would totally stick it out for 6 months. Baby stuff is bulky, but you can do without A LOT of it. Try to separate the babies sleeping area from the living area as best you can. Sometimes you just have to get creative. Also, are you planning on staying at home with the baby after he/she is born? If you aren't, having a small space may not bother you as much as it would if you were home all the time.
Good luck!

Thank you! We will likely be able to put up a temporary wall separating our living space from the sleeping area to turn the apt into a 1 bedroom, so that would help.

I am planning on staying home after the (as-yet-un-conceived) baby is born. I just don't make enough to make it worth paying for daycare, especially at NYC prices! I have thought about the stir-craziness factor, but we live across the street from a library and 3 blocks from an enormous park with a beautiful waterfront walking trail so lots of opportunity to get out and about.

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S/O How big is your house? Sorry, long.

Re: S/O How big is your house? Sorry, long.

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