VENT: "child-bearing age"

mtlaurel · January 2012

I am involved in several schools-related projects for work right now. They entail running demographic and enrollment trends analyses and projections. Numerous meetings with superintendents and their staffs can be grating to my IF-mind, when I have to listen to stories about teen mothers, incredibly irresponsible parents, etc. But, this morning really sucked. A Super threw out in the middle of something how we should use a different, older age grouping for "women of child-bearing age" for Fairfield County (wealthy area) in a tone that implied that having children over 35 is crazy, and only for the wealthy. It was followed by a "40 is the new 30" from someone else, at which the offender scoffed.

Well, I'm sorry, I didn't become a teacher, fresh out of college in the 1970s, marry at 22 and have all my children by 26 so that I could be a grandmother in my 50s (all of which is clearly true for this woman). However, I did start trying before I was 35, but will likely be bankrupt and 40 before I adopt a child (at the rate we're going), you insensitive a$$.

Thanks for letting me get that out - I was stifling it for too long.

Mrs.McIrish · January 2012

Don't you wish you could comment on other people's life choices? Of course it would be politically incorrect to do so but people can comment all they want abuot us "older' mom's-to-be... I don't know how you sat through that.

Llamamama · January 2012

Vent away! It amazes me how uninformed (and sometimes just downright MEAN) people (who are not dealing with IF) can be.

MelleTX · January 2012

what a jackazz.

So sorry darlin'. Some people just don't get it.

brooklynesque · January 2012

I'm sorry. People are morons.

Amyaggie97 · January 2012

MelleTX:
what a jackazz.
So sorry darlin'. Some people just don't get it.

Agreed and major understatement. Sorry you had to deal with this.

JK2727 · January 2012

I hate it when parent-teacher conferences roll around and it strikes me yet again that I'm older than the parents.

Boo! to the Super and everyone else at the meeting who chuckled.

pillowass · January 2012

What a self-righteous and ignorant thing to say! I'm really sorry you had to sit through that conversation.

genmalone · January 2012

My divorced-with-kids friends make these comments all the time. I'm not saying anything negative about people that are divorced but how is it better to have kids young and then get divorced? I got married in my early 30's and have been TTC for 2 years. And yes, I'm 35! Do I wish I had kids in my 20's? No. And it wouldn't of mattered anyway because I was infertile then too.

KGS2003 · January 2012

It really bothers me too when people say crap like that. They have no idea why people choose to have children when they do. It could be circumstances beyond their control

I was a widow at 24, we thought we had plenty of time but we didn't. I was lucky enough to find love twice and that put my TTC into my 30s. I was 32 when I had my DD and still trying for #2. I'm just one scenario. Insensitive a$$holes.

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