Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
jessicap70486
member
Re: Letting DH in the OR while getting the edpidural?
This might be a silly question but whats the differene between the epi and spinal? Is the spinal just a shot where I know the epi they have to thread the thing into your spine and what nots? which one do ya'll think is more comfortable?
Yep, the spinal is just a shot but the epidural is a catheter left in. Of all the things I hated about a c-section, the spinal is one thing I did not. It's just a shot and then you're numb. I had the normal side effects of shaking uncontrollably though, but I don't know how you can avoid that. The one thing I really don't want ever again is duramorph in the spinal -- I felt like I was going insane because the morphine made it feel like I had bugs crawling all over me for about 24 hours. I'd take excrutiating pain over that.
You need to find out the hospital policies on this.
My hospital, does all the pre-op stuff including the epi in the pre-op room. I had to be there 2 hours before surgery and they showed me to a pre-op room where I changed into a gown and they monitored DS2. The nurse came in and asked a bunch of questions then the anesthesiologist came in to do my epi. My dh was there for everything and they actually had my dh in front of me holding my arms. The anesthesiologist stayed a little bit to make sure my blood pressure stayed okay whcih he ended up giving me soemthing b/c it didn't. I saw my doctor then they wheeled me to the OR. Dh had to wait outside the OR until they switched me to the OR table. Once they did that he came in. So not every hospital does the epi in the OR.
My hospital does epi for everyone b/c they hook up a pain pump to the spot after the c/s while you are still in the OR. You get the pain pump for 24 hours.
I don't know the difference. I've only had a spinal because I've only had c/s. My hospital has you sit in triage for 2 hours hooked up to the monitor, then when it's time they walk you into the OR. In the OR is where you get the spinal. I was worse the second time because the first time I was in shock. I was only 28w pregnant and not supposed to be giving birth that early so it was easy for them to get the spinal in. The 2nd time I knew what was going on and it took them a little longer to get the spinal and after that everything was a breeze.
I'm sorry you had that experience. It must have been so scary.
My husband was not allowed in the OR while I was getting my epidural.
I don't know about epis in particular because I had a spinal with my c/s. I also had a one during 2 surgeries while I was pregnant and the anesthesiologist gave me something for nerves, even though I didn't need it. So I know it's doable with a spinal.
Honestly, you are already braver than me. I never wanted a spinal or epi and I sure wouldn't do it again if I'd had your experience. I would most definitely panic. I go for a vbac and if there were any real complications I'd rather they just knock me out.
DH wasn't even allowed in the OR until I was opened up. They wanted to make sure nothing seemed it would go wrong before they let him in.
DH wasn't allowed into the OR either time (2 c/s) until after the spinal had been administered.
They should. I requested something before my 2nd c/s and it wasn't an issue.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
I hope everything works out for you. When I had mine, they asked DH to leave the room. I think it's more because of thinking that him watching and you seeing his face will tense you up more.
When I got mine, my nurse stood in front of me, basically with my head on her shoulder/chest area with my neck tilted down to create a curve so the anesthesiologist could find what he was looking for. She explained everything going on step by step, until I told her to stop because that was tensing me up more when she started describing the needle ( she said it was similar to the one used to give Novocain at the dentist. )
Going in, I was more afraid of getting my epi, than actual labor neither of which were overly bad. Especially since I got my epi almost immediately. Heck getting that stupid thing in the back of my hand hurt worse,IMO.
What a horrible experience. I am SO sorry you went through that. It's very standard that DH's are not allowed in during the spinal so I have no idea how hard you'd have to fight to make that happen.
I wanted to reply to this though to recommend asking for a sedative. I am terrified of epi/spinal. I had a panic attack during my epi with DS1, and a panic attack just prior to going into the OR with DS2. I had a sedative post panic-attack with both kids and it's what got me through the spinal with DS2, no doubt. It did not make me groggy, I remember the births very clearly. I was also very relaxed and maybe just a touch loopy (I said some goofy things...).
I'm having my 3rd c/s tomorrow and I'm going to be asking for a sedative when I walk in the maternity ward doors.... I've been having panic attacks all week thinking about the spinal.
GL!
Mama Jan's Kitchen... a food blog
My epidural was done while I was in my labor room, and DH was allowed to be there. If he wasn't there, I probably would have had more of a serious panic attack. I ended up shaking so bad and vomiting during the procedure because I was such a wreck and if it wasn't for my awesome L&D nurse on one side and my DH on the other side of me, I probably would have passed out.
While I was getting prepped for the surgery DH was getting changed into scrubs, and once he was done they brought him into surgery to be with me - it ended up being an emergency surgery, so I'm glad they prepped me quick and got going but they almost started without DH (which for the safety of my baby that would have been fine but I really wanted DH there from the start).
It was the best experience having DH a part of everything - I can't imagine not having him by my side the entire time.
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Cooper+Evie=Soulmates
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BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12
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